My introduction

[andrew]

Here I am at Day 87. Last night I had a dip dream. I hadn't had a dip dream in about 20 days, since the mid 60's. This dream was just like most of the other dip dreams....

I'm in the middle of a perfectly normal dream and I turn around and I have my mouth full of dip. It's not just a lip turd, it's a whole can packed into my mouth. I start freaking out because I don't want to go back to Day 1. My first thoughts are always about how I don't want to go back to Day 1 and how I posted roll and how I can't give that up. At the same time I'm thinking to myself how much I could just keep it in....it all happens in a split second, I start spewing it out of my mouth trying to get it out of my mouth, somehow thinking that by getting it out of my mouth fast enough it won't take me back to Day 1.... I am blowing nasty dip everywhere, it's like it never stops coming out of my mouth, I can't get it all out of my mouth......

Then I wake up and realize that I'm still at Day 87, and that the nic bitch is still there, rooted in the back of my brain, even though I don't have cravings any more and even though I'm past the fog....it's still a long process....and one of the only things keeping me going is this site and posting roll and not wanting to go back to that awful Day 1.....

[andrew]

So the early 70's weren't bad...the late 70's sucked, though...I didn't sleep right for about 5 days. I couldn't fall asleep at night, and just wasn't tired, but then I was unable to wake up at ALL once I fell asleep. I would sleep through my alarm clock going off next to my head for over an hour.

I finally took some herbal stuff I ordered online (a bodybuilding supplement that promotes heavy sleep) and knocked myself out last night. I woke up at the right time this morning feeling much refreshed. It's true, though...this close-to-HOF-quit sucks a little more than the mid 50's or so.

I'm doing better, though, and I'm learning how to deal with these things, such as the 3-4 day doldrums that seem to appear out of nowhere. Anyway, that's the update for today.

Good luck to all my June and July HOF quitters. It's going to be well worth it for all of you. Stick with the quit, you will be happy you did once you make it past the first 10 days or so.

[Scowick65]

After day 60 I thought I would have smooth sailing...I'm over halfway to HOF, I'm done with sucking, I'm going to breeze right through this! Well, this past week has been pretty terrible. Insomnia started up again and it's been wiping me out. Add to that more stress at work and life began to suck again. Throw in a dream or two about random tobacco products (nothing major or exciting, I just wake up remembering seeing a pouch of tobacco or something like that) and it's been miserable again. It's been going better today, but for about 3-4 days it was really dragging.

Of course, today would have been excellent since I finally got to sleep early last night....except rhester03 came and banged on my door past midnight....

Andrew,

The 60s and 70s were tough for me as well. It got better once I hit the 80s. I also had depression as well as the symptoms that you described. Apparently, the nic bitch does not give up easily. She knows you dumped her, and she is pissed.

[andrew]

After day 60 I thought I would have smooth sailing...I'm over halfway to HOF, I'm done with sucking, I'm going to breeze right through this! Well, this past week has been pretty terrible. Insomnia started up again and it's been wiping me out. Add to that more stress at work and life began to suck again. Throw in a dream or two about random tobacco products (nothing major or exciting, I just wake up remembering seeing a pouch of tobacco or something like that) and it's been miserable again. It's been going better today, but for about 3-4 days it was really dragging.

Of course, today would have been excellent since I finally got to sleep early last night....except rhester03 came and banged on my door past midnight....

[jaygib]

Good to hear it's going well now. I like your analogy in battle terms. The addict in mean is trying to tell me I don't have the fight to wage this war everyday forever and that I should surrender even though victory is so obviously achievable now in this fight. So I just try to embrace fighting each urge each day, but I must admit that I hope that soon come days when I don't think about dip for a couple days. I've given enough of my life to dip, tired of giving more now even in thought and lustful desire.

[loot]

Past the 60 day mark and really doing well. There have been random urges here and there popping up. Today I managed to hit our shop again and standing there at the checkout next to the giant wall of tobacco the thought creeped into my head for a split second....what if you just bought a bag of tobacco instead of a can of dip.....? That thought lasted all of ten second before I pushed it out of my head and ran out of there as fast as I could. I haven't had cravings or urges for days now, and other than today I've been rolling along well.

The other day I was looking for something to eat in my room and I found a can of Hooch that I still had from weeks ago. I figured I'd try to pop it in my mouth and I realized just how uncomfortable it really is having something rubbing away at my gums. I spit it out and didn't think twice about it....

For those of you who are starting out and think that you will never be free from obsessing every second of the day...it gets better. I'm obviously not "cured" and I never will be, but the fight is easier now. I'm fighting a nicotine insurgency instead of a full blown war right now...little nicotine thoughts and urges creep up and ambush me and then I run away. Win the first battle of all out war on nicotine and you will make it to the long fight, the insurgency of nicotine, and having to battle it for short periods of time at random times. You can make it, though! Own your QUIT and stick with it!

Great news. It is nice when you can string a few days of coasting together early in your quit. Enjoy. Enjoy and rest. Rest up for the next battle. You know it is coming.

Try and prepare yourself for situations/triggers that you can see coming. Everything you do will be a first without dip, plan for it. Craves that you have planned for are easier to deal with than triggers that unaccounted for. Planning helps your short term quit.

Congrats on 60. Be ready for the next funk little bro.

Never again, for any reason.

[andrew]

Past the 60 day mark and really doing well. There have been random urges here and there popping up. Today I managed to hit our shop again and standing there at the checkout next to the giant wall of tobacco the thought creeped into my head for a split second....what if you just bought a bag of tobacco instead of a can of dip.....? That thought lasted all of ten second before I pushed it out of my head and ran out of there as fast as I could. I haven't had cravings or urges for days now, and other than today I've been rolling along well.

The other day I was looking for something to eat in my room and I found a can of Hooch that I still had from weeks ago. I figured I'd try to pop it in my mouth and I realized just how uncomfortable it really is having something rubbing away at my gums. I spit it out and didn't think twice about it....

For those of you who are starting out and think that you will never be free from obsessing every second of the day...it gets better. I'm obviously not "cured" and I never will be, but the fight is easier now. I'm fighting a nicotine insurgency instead of a full blown war right now...little nicotine thoughts and urges creep up and ambush me and then I run away. Win the first battle of all out war on nicotine and you will make it to the long fight, the insurgency of nicotine, and having to battle it for short periods of time at random times. You can make it, though! Own your QUIT and stick with it!

[rhester03]

50 Days! Halfway to HOF...pretty happy about that. This week we have the Iraqi Day of Rage, let's see how much Rage I have stored up from quitting!

RAGE!

I don't think you have stored the amount of Rage I have stored up recently... When do we get our day?

[andrew]

50 Days! Halfway to HOF...pretty happy about that. This week we have the Iraqi Day of Rage, let's see how much Rage I have stored up from quitting!

RAGE!

[andrew]

Hadn't had a dip dream in a few weeks, but I had one last night. I wasn't craving or anything, I just turned around in my dream and I was holding a can of Copenhagen and my entire mouth was filled with it. I didn't put it in my mouth, it was just there. I started spewing Copenhagen on the ground trying to get it out of my mouth, it seemed like that continued forever.

I think it was really indicative of what kind of relationship I had with dip...it was just there. I dipped, not really thinking about it, or putting much effort into it. Now that I am free of it my subconscious is taking a little longer to agree on that, although every dream I've had about dip has been violently against it.

Anyway, that's an update...still staying quit out here. Stay strong everyone, it's well worth it.

[Xander_24]

andrew, very impressed with your success in quitting while serving, makes me think if he can do over there then i sure as hell can do it. lol Thx for the inspiration

[sapperred1]

Good Job. You are going on 6 weeks. A very large mile stone for me too. Started having major cravings around that time. Stay on alert for them. I know you can do this. I know you got this sir. Keep those other guys in line too.

[andrew]

An update from the chilly part of Baghdad:

I passed 40 days yesterday and things are subsiding. I did have some kind of dip dream last night, not sure what it was exactly, I don't remember much of it. My mind is healing.

I was chewing gum two days ago and bit my lip, causing a small knot to form...yesterday I bit it three more times while chewing gum and now it looks like a bee stung me on the face... I don't think this has to do so much with dipping as it does with me being retarded and incapable of chewing gum without hurting myself.

I haven't been using the fake stuff recently. I was right when I said I ordered it all too late, I gave the rest of my stash to Rhester03 (Day 12), wallaceo (Day 6), and one other member who wasn't posting roll and caved on Day 9. I think he's on Day 2 now, we'll see, Rhester03 and I are trying to get him to post roll but I think he's still dancing around the subject.

I won't lie, I caved too when I was starting off (you can see that my join date is about a week earlier than my quit date), I thought I could do it all by myself without posting roll and just get "inspiration" from this site. I went 2 or 3 days without dipping then put a tiny mouse turd of Grizzly (literally the last I had left in an empty can)...it was gross and I spit it out and started posting roll here a few days later. I was spared the shame of going back to Day 1 because I had never posted roll anyway....here's my lesson: Do yourself a favor and post roll, it will keep you from early caving and force you to own up to your actions.

I'm starting to get close to the longest I've ever gone 100% without nicotine. It's rough, and I still have at least one craving a day, but it GETS BETTER. I'm not jumpy and always waiting for my next chance to stick that shit in my lip anymore. I'm not spilling drool all over myself anymore, and my gums and lip don't burn when I fall asleep at night. I don't scrape parts of my cheek out of my mouth when I brush my teeth in the morning either. You can do it, it's worth it, and you need to keep quitting with me and the others here.....it's worth the pain, trust me!

[Larry Drummer]

Andrew,

Great to see you are staying strong in your quit! This is day 5 for me, first weekend. Saturday morning didn't feel right at first without the big nasty in my lip, then I went into the office for a few hrs by myself and it hit me again that a dip would be nice. I stopped at wal-mart on my way out and asked 3 store workers there for 'Hooch' and they looked at me like I was stupid. Then after realizing how pathetic I sounded to them trying to describe by saying 'It's a fake dip', I soon realized I lost the crave and was good the rest of the weekend.
Let's continue doing this brother! Nic-free!

I appreciate your service to our country!

[andrew]

Well, today is the first day of me trying out a new schedule and forcing my body back into a healthy sleep cycle. Every since day 6-10 when I didn't sleep for about 3 days my sleep cycle has been really messed up. Now, about three weeks later, it's still messed up. I'm trying to get up an hour earlier and getting to bed a lot earlier. For some reason I have been staying up ridiculously late and not getting up until I absolutely have to. I set a schedule for myself and we're going to see how well I can stick to it. It includes all my meals, etc., so if I can stick to this I think I'll feel a lot better.

I'm glad to see the May class filling up slowly. To all new quitters: It gets better. Here I am a little over a month after quitting, and I don't have half the cravings I did two weeks ago. Sure, I still have cravings every once in a while, but it isn't intense and it doesn't last long. I have some Smokey Mountain or Hooch for backup if it gets ridiculous, but I'm finding that I'd rather NOT have a turd in my lip anymore, and that it makes me feel uncomfortable and stupid. It is stupid anyway, the whole addiction is stupid....

If you are just starting out, you will sleep again, and you will shit again (oh yes, it is getting better for me now), and you will soon be able to live your life without thinking every five minutes about the Nic Bitch.