New To Site

[KC_Guy]

Day 80 tomorrow.
Couldn't have made it this far with out KTC, my posting roll, worktowin pulling for me; KC_Guy, Erussel (and the personal shit both of them owned while quitting) srans, and a bunch of other folks on this site.

Through all of this, I have learned something... 80 is good. 100 is better. But the best number of all is one more than yesterday. ODAAT.

Day 80 tomorrow. Someone else will be starting day one. I hope I can be as much of an encouragement as the folks who helped me.

Keep stacking those +1's like KU does those wins. Damn proud you are an August Badass. Chooo Choooo that train is coming. One day at a time bro.

[Greg5280]

Day 80 tomorrow.
Couldn't have made it this far with out KTC, my posting roll, worktowin pulling for me; KC_Guy, Erussel (and the personal shit both of them owned while quitting) srans, and a bunch of other folks on this site.

Through all of this, I have learned something... 80 is good. 100 is better. But the best number of all is one more than yesterday. ODAAT.

Day 80 tomorrow. Someone else will be starting day one. I hope I can be as much of an encouragement as the folks who helped me.

Congrats on the 80! See you again tomorrow!

STAY QUIT
Greg

[Jayhawk]

Day 80 tomorrow.
Couldn't have made it this far with out KTC, my posting roll, worktowin pulling for me; KC_Guy, Erussel (and the personal shit both of them owned while quitting) srans, and a bunch of other folks on this site.

Through all of this, I have learned something... 80 is good. 100 is better. But the best number of all is one more than yesterday. ODAAT.

Day 80 tomorrow. Someone else will be starting day one. I hope I can be as much of an encouragement as the folks who helped me.

[worktowin]

Jayhawk - you need some anger in your thread - here you go...

---------------------

Worktowin -

As you have mentioned, I get more mad everyday about the time/money/life, et. fucking all that I have wasted because of nicotine.

Today, I was telling someone how long I had been quit and they mentioned how they admired it. As I thought about it, what I wanted to say is that you wouldn't admire all the wasted time and money and effort, etc., etc., etc., I have blown through. I certainly don't admire it.

Anyway - just wanted to vent to you because you had been talking about this and it hadn't hit home just yet for me - the anger. But now I think it is home to roost.

I see all these new guys everyday posting their day one. Some dudes have humbling, scary stories. And yet a new dude buys his first can at the same damn time somewhere.

So, anyway it does piss me off. I've noticed guys buying a can at the store, and I just want to grab them and say what the fuck are you doing dude? It don't look cool, you are wasting yourself and your resources.

You mentioned how you were angry - I'm getting it more and more. Too bad it took this long for me, I don't admire it!

Later

-Jayhawk

[worktowin]

Just wanted to post here what I said in my roll call posting today.  For posterity. 

Had a vivid dream about caving last night.  Immediately in my dream, my mind became fully aware (almost a shock like realization) that I just caved.  And since I was part of KTC and posting my promise, that also means that I just broke my promise.

I lied.
I mislead people.
What I said I would do - I didn't do.
If someone were depending on me keeping my word, I let them down.  Big time.

So, as I lay there half asleep, I began to panic because of the cave.  I was going to have to come in, post roll day 1.  I would have to explain myself.  Most of all, I would have to face the guys who depend on me keeping my promise everyday.  That thought really woke me up - literally, not figuratively.

The reason I write all of the above is to point out one simple fact.  If this site (and posting roll and your promise) did not work - why did I feel so shitty about my cave and my character over a damn dream?

My dream proved something to me.  I owe the people I post with the follow through that goes with the written promise.  You guys have that for 70 some days in a row.  I am not interested in coming back here and posting day 1. 

My dream wasn't about nic.  It wasn't about a cave.  It wasn't about dip.  My dream was about accountability and living up to my word.  My dream was more about how deeply ingrained my commitment is to myself and others on KTC. 

The dream was nothing.  The realization that I let my brothers down is what woke me up feeling like I was in a nightmare.

Later.

Good stuff here brother.

I had a cave dream last night too. You dug deeper than i did and helped me understand it much better. Inspired Thank you bother. Proud to be Quit with you

Great post jayhawk! One thing that those dreams always seem to miss is that kick to the balls fog you had for about a month. Isn't it interesting that that dreams only include the romantically wonderful feelings of using nicotine and none of the negatives ? Of course, once you wake up, those romantic feelings are all lies too.

Congratulations on another mileatone. And thanks for being a man of integrity and honor. I think I'll quit with you today!

[CaliforniaSlim]

Just wanted to post here what I said in my roll call posting today.  For posterity. 

Had a vivid dream about caving last night.  Immediately in my dream, my mind became fully aware (almost a shock like realization) that I just caved.  And since I was part of KTC and posting my promise, that also means that I just broke my promise.

I lied.
I mislead people.
What I said I would do - I didn't do.
If someone were depending on me keeping my word, I let them down.  Big time.

So, as I lay there half asleep, I began to panic because of the cave.  I was going to have to come in, post roll day 1.  I would have to explain myself.  Most of all, I would have to face the guys who depend on me keeping my promise everyday.  That thought really woke me up - literally, not figuratively.

The reason I write all of the above is to point out one simple fact.  If this site (and posting roll and your promise) did not work - why did I feel so shitty about my cave and my character over a damn dream?

My dream proved something to me.  I owe the people I post with the follow through that goes with the written promise.  You guys have that for 70 some days in a row.  I am not interested in coming back here and posting day 1. 

My dream wasn't about nic.  It wasn't about a cave.  It wasn't about dip.  My dream was about accountability and living up to my word.  My dream was more about how deeply ingrained my commitment is to myself and others on KTC. 

The dream was nothing.  The realization that I let my brothers down is what woke me up feeling like I was in a nightmare.

Later.

Good stuff here brother.

I had a cave dream last night too. You dug deeper than i did and helped me understand it much better. Inspired Thank you bother. Proud to be Quit with you

[srans]

Just wanted to post here what I said in my roll call posting today. For posterity.

Had a vivid dream about caving last night. Immediately in my dream, my mind became fully aware (almost a shock like realization) that I just caved. And since I was part of KTC and posting my promise, that also means that I just broke my promise.

I lied.
I mislead people.
What I said I would do - I didn't do.
If someone were depending on me keeping my word, I let them down. Big time.

So, as I lay there half asleep, I began to panic because of the cave. I was going to have to come in, post roll day 1. I would have to explain myself. Most of all, I would have to face the guys who depend on me keeping my promise everyday. That thought really woke me up - literally, not figuratively.

The reason I write all of the above is to point out one simple fact. If this site (and posting roll and your promise) did not work - why did I feel so shitty about my cave and my character over a damn dream?

My dream proved something to me. I owe the people I post with the follow through that goes with the written promise. You guys have that for 70 some days in a row. I am not interested in coming back here and posting day 1.

My dream wasn't about nic. It wasn't about a cave. It wasn't about dip. My dream was about accountability and living up to my word. My dream was more about how deeply ingrained my commitment is to myself and others on KTC.

The dream was nothing. The realization that I let my brothers down is what woke me up feeling like I was in a nightmare.

Later.

Good stuff here brother.

[Jayhawk]

Just wanted to post here what I said in my roll call posting today. For posterity.

Had a vivid dream about caving last night. Immediately in my dream, my mind became fully aware (almost a shock like realization) that I just caved. And since I was part of KTC and posting my promise, that also means that I just broke my promise.

I lied.
I mislead people.
What I said I would do - I didn't do.
If someone were depending on me keeping my word, I let them down. Big time.

So, as I lay there half asleep, I began to panic because of the cave. I was going to have to come in, post roll day 1. I would have to explain myself. Most of all, I would have to face the guys who depend on me keeping my promise everyday. That thought really woke me up - literally, not figuratively.

The reason I write all of the above is to point out one simple fact. If this site (and posting roll and your promise) did not work - why did I feel so shitty about my cave and my character over a damn dream?

My dream proved something to me. I owe the people I post with the follow through that goes with the written promise. You guys have that for 70 some days in a row. I am not interested in coming back here and posting day 1.

My dream wasn't about nic. It wasn't about a cave. It wasn't about dip. My dream was about accountability and living up to my word. My dream was more about how deeply ingrained my commitment is to myself and others on KTC.

The dream was nothing. The realization that I let my brothers down is what woke me up feeling like I was in a nightmare.

Later.

[Erussell]

Day 70. 70 days without dip. Feeling good. But, I will not forget the panic and anxiety that drove me to this site. I won't forget the bullshit fog I had to endure just to get away from the shit that I was - strike that, AM - addicted to - nicotine.

Never again for any reason.

Jayhawk, brother your a bad ass! I quit with you.

[Jayhawk]

Day 70. 70 days without dip. Feeling good. But, I will not forget the panic and anxiety that drove me to this site. I won't forget the bullshit fog I had to endure just to get away from the shit that I was - strike that, AM - addicted to - nicotine.

Never again for any reason.

[Jayhawk]

Getting some days under my belt now.  59 today, 60 tomorrow.  No more fog.  Sleeping again.  Life is great.  Don't forget the fog!!!!  That sucked.

Nice work

Keep your head on a swivel - got a pre-Hall funk coming up

the bitch loves to attack when things are going well ....

course she loves to dog pile when the shit hits the fan too.

Thanks CBird - I have been watching this and keeping what I read in mind:

Days 70 - 90 - Late term craves, the doldrums, the blahs, the blues. Some people end up feeling like they are right back at day 1. The fog, the haze, the craves. It can be a tough time. You need to let people in your group know this is happening. Time to circle the wagons to get through it. It usually only lasts a few days. - See more at: http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what ... ebpmx.dpuf

So - a shout out to everyone, especially those in my group who are right here with me approaching this mark. Let's all keep this in the forefront... We are approaching a time when complacency is the enemy!

As I approach these next 20+ days, I will be dialed in on my quit.

[KC_Guy]

Getting some days under my belt now.  59 today, 60 tomorrow.  No more fog.  Sleeping again.  Life is great.  Don't forget the fog!!!!  That sucked.

Nice work

Keep your head on a swivel - got a pre-Hall funk coming up

the bitch loves to attack when things are going well ....

course she loves to dog pile when the shit hits the fan too.

Great job Jayhawk. Keep choppin that wood man. 1 day at a time. Keep killin it. Rock Chalk.

[cbird65]

Getting some days under my belt now. 59 today, 60 tomorrow. No more fog. Sleeping again. Life is great. Don't forget the fog!!!! That sucked.

Nice work

Keep your head on a swivel - got a pre-Hall funk coming up

the bitch loves to attack when things are going well ....

course she loves to dog pile when the shit hits the fan too.

[Jayhawk]

Getting some days under my belt now. 59 today, 60 tomorrow. No more fog. Sleeping again. Life is great. Don't forget the fog!!!! That sucked.

[srans]

Thanks again for the encouragement and support.  It is hard for me to think that I should be leading a new quitter through this with just 40 some days quit.  But, the more I think about it, especially the fog (as you and I really enjoyed) I need to encourage others - just like you did for me.

I still have more bouts with fog like symptoms than craves.  I still wake up in the middle of the night - not sure what that shit is all about.  I have had a couple of those really intense dreams - those are weird.

But still feeling better every day.  Back to running again, that really has helped me out I think. 

I mentioned to Wolly that the fog was just one long kick in the balls - seems the best way to describe it.  I think I'm using that in my sig. block.

Jay, I was just thinking today that it's so great there is always a fresh crop of people quit in their 20's, 30's, 40's and beyond. I'm not burnt out obviously, but I'm sure there will come times when I'm just too exhausted or temporarily cynical to help the new people. And when that happens, I think it will be the passion and excitement of those early in their quit and encouraging others that will help inspire me to throw in my support again.

Don't underestimate the value of what you are bringing to the table today.

Take what you need. Leave the rest.

You guys are rocking this.

Jay

You are just as important as a vet. A vet can give perspective and offer a certain wisdom that comes with time.

What you offer is priceless. A perspective of someone who is living it and making it to the other side. Damn, keep up the good work.

I second what he said ^^^^^.. Don't sale yourself short bro. We all have something to offer. You have a group that needs you man.