My Intro

[FearNotLife]

Just wanted everyone to know that it does get easier. If you take the time out of your busy day to better yourself in anyway you know possible, it will get better. Working out every day seems to be the key to releasing the negative thoughts. Its day 32 of quit and Im starting to feel so much better. It was so hard at first, I even almost slipped a couple times but "god" must have been on my side because every time I thought about using nicotine there was a force preventing me on doing so. I thank the strong guys of many days of quit for supporting me everyday reminding me to roll call. Thanks to you badasses for reminder me to roll call everyday. You April fools are some real badass dudes. starting to realize how important you all are and it makes me smile.

[Souliman]

Dear diary... :D Today was really rough and if it weren't for Almighty luck I might not have made it through the day. Had to use the truck for the first time in a month to get it inspected back home. A good 2 hour drive that for the past 8 years hasn't been done without a dip. Still not feeling my best, partly because I've been half cleansing as well as cold turkin it so the urge to put some poison in me was strong. Seems crazy and melodramatic when I'm typing my experience but its all true. This shit really is some sort of demon. Going back home where everybody in the family is doing this stuff and its like I'm seeing with fresh eyes. Resisted 2 really big temptation today from the Nic bitch and I'm pretty proud of it. This won't be the last but at least I feel even stronger to resist it the next time. If you're thinking of quitting, please do. If you think you're alone in any situation, you're not. That's what I've learned here. Cool Beans.

Stay strong. I had the same problem with driving home. I had driven 89 north to Vermont for 24 years with a lip anchor in. Huge trigger to get in the car knowing I had that drive.

Plan - you know it's a trigger. Get some fakey. Leave a can in your truck. Leave a bottle of water in your truck. Sunflower seeds. Red hots. Anything. Put anything in your mouth but cancer candy.

Protect - you have this site and the iron will of a ton of fuckers from this site. Everyone of them willing to help in your time of need. Don't be a pussy. Asking for help is not wrong. It's expected. You'll strengthen your quit and the folks you reach out to. And a stronger quit means more steely balls.

Fight - get your mind straight. You don't do that shit anymore. Say it out loud. Hear the words come from your mouth. Reinforce that you have burned your boats. You put your word down. That shit is binding. When shit gets tough you do whatever you have to so you keep your word. Fight to keep your word.

[FearNotLife]

Dear diary... :D Today was really rough and if it weren't for Almighty luck I might not have made it through the day. Had to use the truck for the first time in a month to get it inspected back home. A good 2 hour drive that for the past 8 years hasn't been done without a dip. Still not feeling my best, partly because I've been half cleansing as well as cold turkin it so the urge to put some poison in me was strong. Seems crazy and melodramatic when I'm typing my experience but its all true. This shit really is some sort of demon. Going back home where everybody in the family is doing this stuff and its like I'm seeing with fresh eyes. Resisted 2 really big temptation today from the Nic bitch and I'm pretty proud of it. This won't be the last but at least I feel even stronger to resist it the next time. If you're thinking of quitting, please do. If you think you're alone in any situation, you're not. That's what I've learned here. Cool Beans.

[FearNotLife]

So day 6 morning was great. Woke up, posted roll, and hit the gym for an hour of an intense treadmill session. Then the mind games started and thats hard to 360 out of. 'bang head' My body is telling me to go work out again so that might just be what I need. Ive also been visualizing myself without this shitty inflammation and a path that doesn't involve dip/ any for of nicotine. Visualizing different scenarios that are all positive. Futures where I also try to convince myself after I've established a healthy lifestyle that maybe on the weekends or on rare occasions I could throw a dipper in. Which cannot be the case because the divorce is and must stay permanent for as long as Im breathing. The inner war is strong but cracks of light are shining through for the first time since I can remember. Amazing how one substance can take us all to the same place.

[FearNotLife]

Dam another great way of looking at things Souliman. I just know I'm such a great person and its eating me alive the thoughts I'm having about myself and others. Really disheartening at times but then ill read about the people with families they're fighting for, onto of their own lives and its like a mental skuzz to the head. Tis quittin season 'Remshot' And there are potentially 100,000 others going through this shit. Must stay strong.

[Souliman]

Well I'd be lying if I said day 5 doesn't suck ass. Even with an hour workout and clean eating I feel terrible. It's taking everything I have not to go outside and pick up a half smoked cigarette some stranger tossed on the ground. Embracing the suck sucks but it beats the alternative by a long shot. I'll Continue to read the stories every now and then during the day.

You can mend broken fences...but you can't fix breaking your word. I remember losing my shit like Gary Busey with a shoebox of cocaine. I pissed on everyone around me. But I didn't cave. I held my ground. And when I was me again...I fixed the wake I created.

You got this. Regardless of what your mother tells you you are not special. We have all gone through this. Shit if a jackass like me can figure it out anyone can.

Snowflakes need not apply.

[FearNotLife]

Well I'd be lying if I said day 5 doesn't suck ass. Even with an hour workout and clean eating I feel terrible. It's taking everything I have not to go outside and pick up a half smoked cigarette some stranger tossed on the ground. Embracing the suck sucks but it beats the alternative by a long shot. I'll Continue to read the stories every now and then during the day.

[FearNotLife]

Wildirish those are some great tips I'll be thinking about a lot. As for the gay pornography not so much lol. Good laughs good laughs. I just need to remember every time I do it I feel like shit in more ways than just one. You guys already know. First thing I do when I wake up is post on roll, I feel like thats going to be a great way to stay accountable.

[Souliman]

And please, anything but Souliman on my ass. :D

Dude, you have not lived till you've had a little Souliman on your ass! 'BanDog'

Once again....a good clean quit turns into gay pornography. Thanks Jim.

[Parputt]

And please, anything but Souliman on my ass. :D

Dude, you have not lived till you've had a little Souliman on your ass! 'BanDog'

[wildirish317]

Okay punk, 24 years old is not old. This is not to your advantage. I dipped for 38 years. I just got friggin tired of it. You don't have that advantage.

Here's what you have to do to make this last:

1. Make your quit as important as anything else in your life. Not the most important, but as important. This is critical. The most important thing can be displaced. As important is permanent. As important as your parents. As important as your balls. You get the point.

2. One day at a time. Once you put your quit in its place - as important as anything else, simply pay homage to that by making a promise to us at the beginning of each day that you will not use nicotine today. Then keep that promise.

It's that friggin simple. It's that friggin difficult. Welcome to our nightmare.

[Wild_Bill]

And please, anything but Souliman on my ass. :D

[FearNotLife]

And please, anything but Souliman on my ass. :D

[FearNotLife]

The love and encouragement means a lot guys. It's an honor to have you all on my side. I'm giving this quit everything I've got. Not going to miss the shocking feeling in my neck saying "wheres my dipper mother fucker?" I can start to feel the blood flow coming back which is a relief. Going to end day 3 thinking about all the positives that will be coming from this decision. Will roll call tomorrow and take this one day at a time.

[Wild_Bill]

FearNotLofe,
Welcome to the brotherhood. You've got some rough days ahead, but nothing that you can't get through. Indeed, each day you quit, your resolve gets stronger. Confidence will follow. A Day At A Time is not just some cute saying! It is the formula. I promise you if quit every day and post roll, that, in short order, you will awaken one day and say to yourself, "What? I am at day 100! I'm a Hall of Famer!" The journey is just starting,but it gets easier and easier. I promise. Not even saying that it takes the 100 days before it gets easier, but it's a very symbolic day here at KTC.

By the way, you have responses from some of the most legendary of KTC brothers. Do not take it lightly, or I will unleash Souliman on your ass!

Welcome!

PM if you need anything. I'm available 24/7.

Proud to be quit with you.

Bill
whsii 1980