Mthomastherapy

[Pinched]

604 days is impressive for anything. However, what has impressed me the most about you is that you stick around and that you help daily. I cannot imagine the number of quitters (successful or unsuccessful) that you have helped over the past 604 days, nor does the # matter.

You come back every damn day and do it again.

I look forward to more from you and thank you for being that guy for 604 days.

[Mthomas3824]

Day 604

First a thank you for the props. Jayhawk, it was nice to be asked to keep leading. However, I am and addict and I would be a hypocrite if I gave all you the impression that I have my shit all figured out. I DON'T.

Nicotine is easy to quit now. I closed the door on that one. I don't like her, I don't fantasize about her. When I get a craving, it usually is a little irony that I crave because I can't stand tobacco now. The little crave reminds me I am a nicotine addict.


So today is 604 days. I had an a-ha moment and today is like the day I flushed my can for good. I realized that I have quit nicotine but I found another mistress. This mistress caused the same behaviors I had when dipping.

The mistress takes on many forms. The Nicotine mistress doesn't do it for me much now. My fight is addiction and before I let addiction ruin me, family, friendships, my mind and body, I have to quit another vice for good.

So I am going to go back to the beginning and quit alcohol now. I realized that I am an alcoholic. I don't drink because I like the taste. I drink because I thought I liked being comfortably numb.

So I accept that I have been a good leader in quitting nicotine but it might have been easy for me because I replaced that bitch with a whore. I quit alcohol today but the shape changing mistress is ADDICTION.

Well like I said with nicotine 604 days ago, "I'm off to hell but I'll be back".

[Jayhawk]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

Congrats brother, well done and better yet thanks for sticking around to inspire the rest of us as well.

To be honest. I stay here for me. I never want to forget the suck I went through to free myself.

I am not here for you. I am here because YOU and KTC inspire me, teach me, and keep me free from this shitty weed!

Just got pissed again. Anyone that is dancing with nicotine....Knock him out!!!!! The most costly lie. They get kids. Kids that want to be men....Enslave kids before they become men?

What a crock of shit tobacco and UST is! What a sneaky terrorist organization!

Save our children from bondage and Quit this shit!!!!!! Do it now and quit everyday you wake!

I love addicts, quit addicts that is.

The reason we're here is similar; we're addicts! Sure we draw inspiration from the group to keep the poison out of our bodies. However No one can accomplish that task for us we must do it alone. However while you come forth and share your experiences and pain I gain strength from your quit and others even though that's not your intention. The great thing about KTC is that we can use it as much or as little as we need it to gain our own freedom. At times I try to take those baby steps to walk the path of freedom alone and am so glad that when I feel wobbly I have this group to reach out to before I fall.
You may not be here for us but you have over the past 600 days helped many other addicts realize that they can quit if they really want to, I'm one of those that has been inspired by you and appreciate it.
Thank You Mark!

Congrats on the milestone Mark. I am here because you are here. Your words to me early in my quit and here and there along the way have been the difference. It was great to have someone a few hundred days ahead of me showing me the ropes and showing how to conquer this fierce addiction. Keep it up Mark, this is only the beginging.

'oh yeah' nice work!

Nice work - keep leading!

[kkljinc]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

Congrats brother, well done and better yet thanks for sticking around to inspire the rest of us as well.

To be honest. I stay here for me. I never want to forget the suck I went through to free myself.

I am not here for you. I am here because YOU and KTC inspire me, teach me, and keep me free from this shitty weed!

Just got pissed again. Anyone that is dancing with nicotine....Knock him out!!!!! The most costly lie. They get kids. Kids that want to be men....Enslave kids before they become men?

What a crock of shit tobacco and UST is! What a sneaky terrorist organization!

Save our children from bondage and Quit this shit!!!!!! Do it now and quit everyday you wake!

I love addicts, quit addicts that is.

The reason we're here is similar; we're addicts! Sure we draw inspiration from the group to keep the poison out of our bodies. However No one can accomplish that task for us we must do it alone. However while you come forth and share your experiences and pain I gain strength from your quit and others even though that's not your intention. The great thing about KTC is that we can use it as much or as little as we need it to gain our own freedom. At times I try to take those baby steps to walk the path of freedom alone and am so glad that when I feel wobbly I have this group to reach out to before I fall.
You may not be here for us but you have over the past 600 days helped many other addicts realize that they can quit if they really want to, I'm one of those that has been inspired by you and appreciate it.
Thank You Mark!

Congrats on the milestone Mark. I am here because you are here. Your words to me early in my quit and here and there along the way have been the difference. It was great to have someone a few hundred days ahead of me showing me the ropes and showing how to conquer this fierce addiction. Keep it up Mark, this is only the beginging.

'oh yeah' nice work!

[Its_Got2Happen]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

Congrats brother, well done and better yet thanks for sticking around to inspire the rest of us as well.

To be honest. I stay here for me. I never want to forget the suck I went through to free myself.

I am not here for you. I am here because YOU and KTC inspire me, teach me, and keep me free from this shitty weed!

Just got pissed again. Anyone that is dancing with nicotine....Knock him out!!!!! The most costly lie. They get kids. Kids that want to be men....Enslave kids before they become men?

What a crock of shit tobacco and UST is! What a sneaky terrorist organization!

Save our children from bondage and Quit this shit!!!!!! Do it now and quit everyday you wake!

I love addicts, quit addicts that is.

The reason we're here is similar; we're addicts! Sure we draw inspiration from the group to keep the poison out of our bodies. However No one can accomplish that task for us we must do it alone. However while you come forth and share your experiences and pain I gain strength from your quit and others even though that's not your intention. The great thing about KTC is that we can use it as much or as little as we need it to gain our own freedom. At times I try to take those baby steps to walk the path of freedom alone and am so glad that when I feel wobbly I have this group to reach out to before I fall.
You may not be here for us but you have over the past 600 days helped many other addicts realize that they can quit if they really want to, I'm one of those that has been inspired by you and appreciate it.
Thank You Mark!

Congrats on the milestone Mark. I am here because you are here. Your words to me early in my quit and here and there along the way have been the difference. It was great to have someone a few hundred days ahead of me showing me the ropes and showing how to conquer this fierce addiction. Keep it up Mark, this is only the beginging.

[Wt57]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

Congrats brother, well done and better yet thanks for sticking around to inspire the rest of us as well.

To be honest. I stay here for me. I never want to forget the suck I went through to free myself.

I am not here for you. I am here because YOU and KTC inspire me, teach me, and keep me free from this shitty weed!

Just got pissed again. Anyone that is dancing with nicotine....Knock him out!!!!! The most costly lie. They get kids. Kids that want to be men....Enslave kids before they become men?

What a crock of shit tobacco and UST is! What a sneaky terrorist organization!

Save our children from bondage and Quit this shit!!!!!! Do it now and quit everyday you wake!

I love addicts, quit addicts that is.

The reason we're here is similar; we're addicts! Sure we draw inspiration from the group to keep the poison out of our bodies. However No one can accomplish that task for us we must do it alone. However while you come forth and share your experiences and pain I gain strength from your quit and others even though that's not your intention. The great thing about KTC is that we can use it as much or as little as we need it to gain our own freedom. At times I try to take those baby steps to walk the path of freedom alone and am so glad that when I feel wobbly I have this group to reach out to before I fall.
You may not be here for us but you have over the past 600 days helped many other addicts realize that they can quit if they really want to, I'm one of those that has been inspired by you and appreciate it.
Thank You Mark!

[Mthomas3824]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

Congrats brother, well done and better yet thanks for sticking around to inspire the rest of us as well.

To be honest. I stay here for me. I never want to forget the suck I went through to free myself.

I am not here for you. I am here because YOU and KTC inspire me, teach me, and keep me free from this shitty weed!

Just got pissed again. Anyone that is dancing with nicotine....Knock him out!!!!! The most costly lie. They get kids. Kids that want to be men....Enslave kids before they become men?

What a crock of shit tobacco and UST is! What a sneaky terrorist organization!

Save our children from bondage and Quit this shit!!!!!! Do it now and quit everyday you wake!

I love addicts, quit addicts that is.

[Pinched]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

Congrats brother, well done and better yet thanks for sticking around to inspire the rest of us as well.

[Mthomas3824]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

Day 601

Amount of money I saved by quittintg nasty nicotine for the past 600 days.....$3,666.00

Having your wife and kids congratulate me on staying quit for 600 Days...


PRICELESS!!!!


Stick with the plan. I am so glad I have and quit again with KTC today. Oh and the tobacco mistress. Don't let her seduce you. When you take her skirt off, there is a big floppy penis waiting for you. She deceives don't entertain her for a second!
Those that entertain her and think about fond memories will go back to humping the can. Remember why you quit. You wanted too! I hate the nic-bitch and welcome any opportunity I can get to cut her heart out and watch her bleed. I am here to support but humble enough to admit, I am still an addict.

[worktowin]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read. Day two, I am still determined. I'm at work and can't leave. Today would have been a perfect day for a can. Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight. What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today. I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict. I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman. I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids. My mistress was a can of tobacco. I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco. Some may think that is a little over the top. I don't. It is spot on. I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict. So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free. Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today. The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent. I'll go to hell and back for freedom. I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Welcome to the 6th floor. To all of the newbs reading this... MT is one of the great leaders on this site. But 600 days ago he was in the same shoes you are in today. Because, as addicts, we are all different... And yet the same. 600 days ago is a world away from where MT is today.

Enjoy your freedom - and thanks for all that you don on this site to help others.

[CleanFuel]

528

So I have a thought to get a can put a dip in and throw the can away.  The last time I had one of those was just before I hit 400. 

lessons realized 

The longer I quit, the cravings are farther apart.  Also, I am still an addict.  KTC teaches addicts not to be impulsive.  I sat back sent out a couple text and that was enough time to care enough about my quit not to cave. 

It gets easy probably too easy.  I am actually glad I had a craving so that I am humble to admit I am still addicted but hate tobacco. 

To any newbie that thinks this is impossible.  Relax and only worry and fight today.  Have faith that it gets better but only if you remain undefeated. 

I have 528 wins and Zero losses with you bastards educating and cheering me on. 

Thanks,

I am an addict but I am a quit addict which is very special to me and my family.

Had an out of the blue crave yesterday......for a cigarette, WTF?!, haven't smoked since i was 23 or 24. Just weird how craves seem to hit around the hof marks and in different ways. Quit with you today MT 'archer'

I'm quit with you too. So glad that we've traveled this quit journey. Cravings don't leave us but they get easier to deal with after each success. It's good to know also that our family members recognize when we struggle.

Smelled a cigar on the golf course today.....smelled so good.....i hate that bitch...509...QLAFM

[Wt57]

528

So I have a thought to get a can put a dip in and throw the can away.  The last time I had one of those was just before I hit 400. 

lessons realized 

The longer I quit, the cravings are farther apart.  Also, I am still an addict.  KTC teaches addicts not to be impulsive.  I sat back sent out a couple text and that was enough time to care enough about my quit not to cave. 

It gets easy probably too easy.  I am actually glad I had a craving so that I am humble to admit I am still addicted but hate tobacco. 

To any newbie that thinks this is impossible.  Relax and only worry and fight today.  Have faith that it gets better but only if you remain undefeated. 

I have 528 wins and Zero losses with you bastards educating and cheering me on. 

Thanks,

I am an addict but I am a quit addict which is very special to me and my family.

Had an out of the blue crave yesterday......for a cigarette, WTF?!, haven't smoked since i was 23 or 24. Just weird how craves seem to hit around the hof marks and in different ways. Quit with you today MT 'archer'

I'm quit with you too. So glad that we've traveled this quit journey. Cravings don't leave us but they get easier to deal with after each success. It's good to know also that our family members recognize when we struggle.

[Roamcountry]

528

So I have a thought to get a can put a dip in and throw the can away. The last time I had one of those was just before I hit 400.

lessons realized

The longer I quit, the cravings are farther apart. Also, I am still an addict. KTC teaches addicts not to be impulsive. I sat back sent out a couple text and that was enough time to care enough about my quit not to cave.

It gets easy probably too easy. I am actually glad I had a craving so that I am humble to admit I am still addicted but hate tobacco.

To any newbie that thinks this is impossible. Relax and only worry and fight today. Have faith that it gets better but only if you remain undefeated.

I have 528 wins and Zero losses with you bastards educating and cheering me on.

Thanks,

I am an addict but I am a quit addict which is very special to me and my family.

Had an out of the blue crave yesterday......for a cigarette, WTF?!, haven't smoked since i was 23 or 24. Just weird how craves seem to hit around the hof marks and in different ways. Quit with you today MT 'archer'

[Mthomas3824]

528

So I have a thought to get a can put a dip in and throw the can away. The last time I had one of those was just before I hit 400.

lessons realized

The longer I quit, the cravings are farther apart. Also, I am still an addict. KTC teaches addicts not to be impulsive. I sat back sent out a couple text and that was enough time to care enough about my quit not to cave.

It gets easy probably too easy. I am actually glad I had a craving so that I am humble to admit I am still addicted but hate tobacco.

To any newbie that thinks this is impossible. Relax and only worry and fight today. Have faith that it gets better but only if you remain undefeated.

I have 528 wins and Zero losses with you bastards educating and cheering me on.

Thanks,

I am an addict but I am a quit addict which is very special to me and my family.

[Dougie]

Day 506

Addiction woes. You know, I once was really hyper about getting rid of all my addictions. I quit nicotine and still am undefeated! Then I lost all the weight I gained from my quit...only to gain it back. I would attempt to quit other things and had a couple relapses but for the most part, other vices simply weren't appealing to me anymore.

Quitting nicotine...I all the sudden desired to become a better person. Now the question is "What makes a person better?" I have quit or just lost interest in other vices but now what?

I'm worried that I have just become a boring person or I am bored.

Am I happier for quitting Nicotine. Hell yes I am! I made great friends and finally felt the power over vice and tasted what winning was like again.

Just a part of the whole process of recovery. If I live longer for quitting, what am I living for? What is my purpose? Not sure I like being bored or too serious about my life.

Just putting this in my journal so that I can answer this thought when the answer comes.

Still quitting even though I am as interesting as a rock right now. 'crackup'

You were never "interesting" or "special" when using nicotine or any other addiction/ self-destructive vice. Maybe you thought you were but you were just like millions of other addicts with brown spittle on your chin.

You were just as boring/bored with a wad of death in your mouth as you are without one.

I think you need to discover an active hobby to immerse yourself in- you can only derive meaning and purpose from something that you assign meaning and purpose to.

Never take life too seriously; no one gets out alive! Have fun.