Mthomastherapy

[rdad]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

[Mthomas3824]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

[Wt57]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

[Grizzly25]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

Freedom. It's a wonderful thing; something I didn't realize I had lost until I became quit and found it. Quit for today and be free. Thanks for posting this Mthomas.

As usual Mark, spot on observations! Proud to be a brother in quit with you!
QLAFM!

Day 708 and this guy still post roll in support section of us new fuck quit groups, look up Dedication in the dictionary and it probably says something like this

Dedication, See Committment -----, go to - Page one --- See Mthomastherapy, --to be a badass quitter of Nicotine--

Wow what a nice compliment. Thank you.

Early in my quit, I likened KTC to a hospital. They will teach me how to quit but eventually you will get better and need to leave the hospital. I can't "hide" from the real world forever. Get your training and then go.

My mindset evolved. "If it aint broke, don't fix it" KTC is not a hospital. It is a treatment. Like someone with diabetes, they have to take insulin shots. No cure but they can live a good life while treating a disease.

My treatment is posting roll. It really isn't bad ass, its just common sense. When I am weak, I spend more time here. When I am strong, I may post roll and dash. When I am loving it, I know I need to be her so the ones embracing the suck don't surrender. I need a daily shot of quit and thats all.

I'm only a bad ass because I know a good leader follows at times for the greater success of the mission. I am an addict and I follow the vets. Almost 2 years quit.

One day, one promise Repeated. Like brushing teeth, its just a good practice.

'BanDog'

You the Man!

I am as always honored to be quit with you and all those before and after us!

Quit on Quiter!

[Coach Steve]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

Freedom. It's a wonderful thing; something I didn't realize I had lost until I became quit and found it. Quit for today and be free. Thanks for posting this Mthomas.

As usual Mark, spot on observations! Proud to be a brother in quit with you!
QLAFM!

Day 708 and this guy still post roll in support section of us new fuck quit groups, look up Dedication in the dictionary and it probably says something like this

Dedication, See Committment -----, go to - Page one --- See Mthomastherapy, --to be a badass quitter of Nicotine--

Wow what a nice compliment. Thank you.

Early in my quit, I likened KTC to a hospital. They will teach me how to quit but eventually you will get better and need to leave the hospital. I can't "hide" from the real world forever. Get your training and then go.

My mindset evolved. "If it aint broke, don't fix it" KTC is not a hospital. It is a treatment. Like someone with diabetes, they have to take insulin shots. No cure but they can live a good life while treating a disease.

My treatment is posting roll. It really isn't bad ass, its just common sense. When I am weak, I spend more time here. When I am strong, I may post roll and dash. When I am loving it, I know I need to be her so the ones embracing the suck don't surrender. I need a daily shot of quit and thats all.

I'm only a bad ass because I know a good leader follows at times for the greater success of the mission. I am an addict and I follow the vets. Almost 2 years quit.

One day, one promise Repeated. Like brushing teeth, its just a good practice.

'BanDog'

[Mthomas3824]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

Freedom. It's a wonderful thing; something I didn't realize I had lost until I became quit and found it. Quit for today and be free. Thanks for posting this Mthomas.

As usual Mark, spot on observations! Proud to be a brother in quit with you!
QLAFM!

Day 708 and this guy still post roll in support section of us new fuck quit groups, look up Dedication in the dictionary and it probably says something like this

Dedication, See Committment -----, go to - Page one --- See Mthomastherapy, --to be a badass quitter of Nicotine--

Wow what a nice compliment. Thank you.

Early in my quit, I likened KTC to a hospital. They will teach me how to quit but eventually you will get better and need to leave the hospital. I can't "hide" from the real world forever. Get your training and then go.

My mindset evolved. "If it aint broke, don't fix it" KTC is not a hospital. It is a treatment. Like someone with diabetes, they have to take insulin shots. No cure but they can live a good life while treating a disease.

My treatment is posting roll. It really isn't bad ass, its just common sense. When I am weak, I spend more time here. When I am strong, I may post roll and dash. When I am loving it, I know I need to be her so the ones embracing the suck don't surrender. I need a daily shot of quit and thats all.

I'm only a bad ass because I know a good leader follows at times for the greater success of the mission. I am an addict and I follow the vets. Almost 2 years quit.

One day, one promise Repeated. Like brushing teeth, its just a good practice.

[Winter Green]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

Freedom. It's a wonderful thing; something I didn't realize I had lost until I became quit and found it. Quit for today and be free. Thanks for posting this Mthomas.

As usual Mark, spot on observations! Proud to be a brother in quit with you!
QLAFM!

Day 708 and this guy still post roll in support section of us new fuck quit groups, look up Dedication in the dictionary and it probably says something like this

Dedication, See Committment -----, go to - Page one --- See Mthomastherapy, --to be a badass quitter of Nicotine--

[eric71]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

Freedom. It's a wonderful thing; something I didn't realize I had lost until I became quit and found it. Quit for today and be free. Thanks for posting this Mthomas.

As usual Mark, spot on observations! Proud to be a brother in quit with you!
QLAFM!

[Steakbomb18]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

Freedom. It's a wonderful thing; something I didn't realize I had lost until I became quit and found it. Quit for today and be free. Thanks for posting this Mthomas.

[Its_Got2Happen]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

amen mthomas

[ERDVM]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

+ infinity knives :ph43r:
Great work today Mark.

[rdad]

I fucking love today.  I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

That is some great stuff right there. A total life triumph! Congrats.

[Pinched]

I fucking love today. I posted roll and will keep my promise.

This is by far one of my favorite quotes!

Congrats on day 708, you are always here with a hand out ready to pull another quitter from the bowels of addiction and I thank you for trudging me through it early in my quitness.

[Mthomas3824]

Love this new ad against Nicotine

Day 708 Nicotine, 106 Alcohol

I used to dip tobacco because I needed it to handle all the stress and worries in my life. I used to dip tobacco because I liked having a secret and my own rebellion. I used to dip tobacco at work, at play, at the gym, road trips and boredom. I would get up early and shower with a dip. I would stay up later than my teenagers just so I could ninja dip in peace. I would hide, sneak, lie and mislead. I liken the nic bitch to a mistress that you want to hide but wont leave.

About 250+ days into my nicotine quit, I started to binge drink. (I was hurting and refused to dip.) It first started as a fun buzz on the weekends, alone after everyone went to sleep. Then it became nightly just to help me sleep. It graduated to the point where I was drinking during lunch and in the office. It finally dawned on me that I was back to the former behaviors I had when dipping! Good Hell.

Now that I am quit and sober...

I now know a new freedom and happiness

The fears that I stressed over...they aren't so scary and a confident faith is replacing those fears.

This is a war and it is worth the sacrifices and battles. I am Free! The burden of being quit and sober is so easy compared to the sham and desire to abuse numbing substances.

Seriously, I no longer fear getting pulled over by police. I no longer fear cancer or disapointing my wife and kids because I lied to them. I no longer have to fear that I didn't clean out my chache and cookies or stress that my wife got the cable bill before me. (What a pain in the ass now looking back)

In fact I sleep well and have less stress in honesty and recovery.

I value my quit and sobriety and will protect it. Recovery is my path to staying free from vice. Being a using addict is a horrible way to live. When you crave, have triggers or are just hurting for no reason. Take the pain and pay the price for victory. It is far better than surrendering to the addiction.

It's true as said by a Vet I respect, "You are not here by accident".

Stay Strong by staying close! Never forget....YOU ARE NOT HERE BY ACCIDENT. You need us to quit and we need you to quit. Nothing wrong with support. Ever tried to cut your own hair? It looks better when you get help.

Your quit will have and hold more value if you support and get support.

I fucking love today. I posted roll and will keep my promise.

[30isEnuff]

Day 629 Nicotine, 27 alcohol

Never thought I would say this...."I'm am blessed to be a nicotine addict and an alcoholic." 

I don't concern myself with debating the good or bad of alcohol.  I have just come to understand that alcohol and I can not be friends.  Oh I've tried but we just don't work well together.  Not only can't we be friends but we should be enemies. 

Alcohol was and still is a friend of my Uncle.  Even after losing control of his truck and rolling it onto my dad, crushing his head and ejecting him from the car. 

Alcohol is still aiding my sister to fall deeper and deeper in anorexia and prescription meds.  She now is having seizures.

Alcohol ruined many of my uncles marriages.  When drinking, they chose poorly and broke marriage covenants.  Damaging the trust and value of family bonds.    

So some people can enjoy a beer at the game.  I now realize I can enjoy the game without beer. 

I love being able to wake up and crush the skull of nicotine every morning.  Now my strength is building with alcohol!  I am having many "a-ha" moments.   

Why is my addiction a blessing?  The meetings and the other addicts I have met have taught me the value of Honesty, Hope and Accountability.  Being quit and sober, my cynicism and negative outlook is being replaced with appreciation and optimism. 

Yes I am a nicotine addict and an alcoholic.  I am officially quit and sober every today.  Overcoming this addiction helps take the chains and blinders off to appreciate and work for the things in life that are the most precious and of the greatest worth.  Being quit and sober is a key ingredient to seeing and understanding what is truly valuable in my life.


Never, Never, Never, Ever Surrender to Addiction.  Even failure and victories can be a stepping stone to success but never surrender.  Keep hope alive in your quit and fight today!

Keep up that fight, keep helping others. You are great at it, and we are all in this together!

Dude - I will follow you.

I quit with the Dude today.