Allow me to introduce myself. I was a smoker AND a chewer of about 23 years, off and on. Cripes, I must be getting old, but I don't consider 37 old!!!! Well anyway, I have had ENOUGH of the Nic Bitch. Period. Done.
Like most of you guys I was introduced to the "joys" of tobacco when I was about 14. My merry band of miscreants and I all thought it was fun and cool to mess with tobacco and snuff. Later in my high school career, I used to wrestle, and yep... you guessed it... chew. After wrestling season, it was primarily back to smokes. Out of high school it continued to be mainly cigarettes when I was out and it was acceptable to smoke, and chew when it wasn't.
Neither habit really escalated to a major consumption for either, though. I never really used more than a pack of cigs and a couple tins a week. However, there WERE weekends, and I used to chain smoke a pack on a Saturday night, easy.
Chew was primarily for work and other situations where I felt I had to mask my tobacco addiction.
Well, that was my situation 11 months ago. I decided that chewing AND smoking was ridiculous. One or the other had to go. So around January 12, 2009, the cigarettes were gonzo. That fight has gone well. Yeah, I relapsed and bought a couple of packs for some "special occasions" but the smokes are indeed gone now, and I'm not lying to myself saying that.
Of course kicking out the smokes DID in turn escalate my chew usage, and I was up to about 4 cans of chew a week. Well, for some reason as of late, I realized I was not getting ANY pleasure out of chewing anymore. I could dip and dip and never really satisfy that nicotine craving. Also my lip was becoming more and more raw trying to. Then the other night, my girlfriend and I were up late watching a movie. I was dog tired by the end, and per my usual late evening movie ritual finale, I shucked my dip into a bottle I was spitting in on the end table, and got up to trudge off to bed. I accidentally bumped the end table, and sure enough, down tumbled the bottle onto the carpet. Great. Chew spill #536. I was pissed. All I wanted was to go to bed but now I had to clean up yet another chew spill. My girlfriend just rolled her eyes as if to say, "Not again..." So I go get the carpet cleaner and sopped it all up.
Anyway, pretty typical situation for us chewers, but something about that night really set me off. Maybe the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. I came to the realization that I have HAD IT. I got to thinking more and more about all the pains (spit bottles, stinky fingers, raw lips, $$... etc., etc.) and harm chewing does to people, and it just kept snowballing. Then I started surfing the net for some quitting advice and I found this site!! OMG! Brothers!! Sisters! Feeling my pain!!! I love the 100 reasons to quit list, and can relate to about 98% of them. The cancer stories and pictures are heartbreaking and awful!!! I'm a dad to the best 4-1/2 year old boy a guy could ask for too, and he worships me!! I refuse to let him down, either!!!
As of yesterday (12/29/09) at 1:30PM, I have not had a dip, smoke or any tobacco product of any kind, and dammit, I WILL NOT. Oh, I am craving a dip and in a fog like you would NOT (or maybe you would) believe. Also last night I woke up about 4 times in the middle of the night wide awake, thinking it was time to get up for work or something. That was incredibly weird. I usually never do that. Well, it's obvious that this crap does evil things to your mind and body. But I will NOT cave. I have HAD IT. Deep breaths and I'll take it a day at a time. Hopefully I won't do anything to dumb while I'm in this fog. I almost walked into the ladies room this AM at work. This is really a surreal kind of funk. Almost like youÂ’re stoned...
I'm also chewing sugar free gum and sucking on suger free candy like a madman, too... I don't understand the sunflower seed thing....
Anyway, wish me luck! I had the pleasure of meeting some of you on the live chat about an hour ago under the alias "70_Malibu", too. You all seem like a great group of folks here!
