(Coach Steve walks into the Introductions Warehouse for the first time in months. As he surveys the room the familiar stench of new quitter fecal matter fills his nostrils. When he look down, he realizes he just stepped in a large pile of new quitter fecal matter)
CS: {lifting his foot} Son of a bitch....now where in the hell is my Intro page?
[Just then, NOLAQ strolls by whistling the main song from the Sound of Music...when he sees CS he freezes]
NOLAQ: Holy shit it's you...
CS: I'm actually not here, just your imagination
NOLAQ: {reaches out to touch CS} Nope, you're definitely real
CS: Ok you got me
NOLAQ: So you back for good?
CS: I'm not back
NOLAQ: Looks like you're back to me...
CS: Nope....
NOLAQ: Fine, so then what are you doing here?
[Just then, Wastepanel walks around the corner guiding a group of new quitters on a tour of the Intro Warehouse]
WP: Now new quitters please watch your step in here....the fecal matter is piling up these days....{sees CS and drops his clipboard} Good lord I've seen ghost!
NOLAQ: Nope, it's him, see....{pinches CS's arm}
CS: Stop that shit dude! {rubbing his arm}....and I'm not back
WP: You sure you're not back Coach?
CS: I'm sure...
NOLAQ: That's too bad....well, actually it's awesome because you suck, but I'll pretend it's bad
CS: Thanks pal
[Just then, Mthomas struts into the Intro Warehouse, his jaw drops when he sees CS]
Mthomas: My goodness...it's the guy I hated, and loved, but really disliked and saw as a friend, yet an enemy at the same time that I wanted to punch him in the face I wanted to cup his buttocks with my palm and then smack him in the head with an olive branch then make him breakfast.....
NOLAQ: {interrupting MT} Please stop.....
Mthomas: Oh...hehe....sorry...I get a little long winded
CS: And you guys wonder why I stayed out of the Intro Warehouse all this time......sure hope it didn't ruin my reputation.....
'winker'
