Thanks guys for the support, I like the way this forum works and plan to stick with it. It may have been what was missing the few times I've stopped in the past. This time needs to be forever. I just realized in a conversation with my wife, that in the ten years we've been married, I have only been a non dipper for about 2 or so years. That's just from the many periods of not dipping while trying to really quit. I was a dipper when she met me.
So I asked her how long I'd need to reach as a full fledge quitter to impress her with the fact that I was actually quitting for life. She said three years. So there's my mid range goal.
So we have:
Short term- one more day. (Tomorrow makes the end of three days)
Mid range: 3 years ( just to hit the wickets with the wife)
Then it back to the one more day thing
I felt pretty good today. This has actually been a pretty mild quit so far. I think cutting down on my dipping in the last month has really helped.
I'm definitely in the fog, but I've had shit loads of energy at work. My sleep these past two days has been deep as well. I think I'm not worried about this time.
I feel shitty because I've allowed myself to be addicted to this shit for nearly 13 years. It's only three days. When I think of being away from this stuff it makes me real happy.
I think that in the past I had much worse three day withdrawals because I wasn't really ready to quit yet. I didn't believe it myself so my mind wouldn't let go of it.
This time I'm ready to quit for real
I really mean that, no shit.
By the way, I found a half can of dip in my basement reloading room after work today. I opened it up, felt nothing towards it, and then flushed it. Afterwards it felt great to do it, but at the time I didn't even really struggle with it or think about it.
This time I'm fucking done with dip. And no occasional cigars in the future that'll lead me back to the dip for the buzz, no monticellos, backwoods, or gas station bullshit. No asking for smoke while drinking with a buddy. No cherry pipe Tabacco in a corn corn pipe" just because it's not dip"
No weak ass redman or Levi garret that'll lead me right back to tins.
None of it.
I'm done.
So I guess I'm saying that nicotine and all nicotine products can go fuck them selves
But to bring it back to earth the right side of my face is tingling, I have a huge headache, my thoughts are scrambled in my head, and I have a mild roller coaster of anger at nothing followed by happiness at everything. Then I have hours where I don't even realize I'm a quitter and have no thoughts of my past addiction or dip itself.
So yeah, it's a withdrawal.. But this time there's no desire for dip, and no bargaining in my head. No attempts of justification to have just one more pinch. And don't think I haven't thought that perhaps such a steady withdrawal won't mean more of a mental challenge down the road. How quick would any of us justify " well if it's that easy to quit, I can quit whenever I want,"
Lol.
One more day and then it's past 72 hours.
And then it's done.