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KTC#17 - Having your lip be so raw from dipping all day but knowing you need one more before bedtime. That last pain dip of the day."
After navigating a chew around my severely torn-apart lip for 20 minutes, I popped it out and went to bed. I woke up the next morning, grabbed the tin off of my night stand, and tossed in another aggravating chew. This chew lasted all of 30 seconds. Why the hell am I doing this? Obviously your mouth isn't supposed to feel like this. That day was March 21, 2017. I headed to Fred Meyer, bought 100 pieces of 4mg gum, and started my plan. My plan was to get through that pack in a week, then switch over to the 2 mg gum. Chew the 2 mg gum for a week, then switch to 0 mg gum (i.e. Trident). I'll come back to this plan...
How did I become 3 can/2 day chewer? I suppose it is the natural evolution of all addicts. You build up a tolerance, and it become so much of a part of your life that you do it constantly without thought. I have played baseball my whole life (softball now), but when I was in high school, some of my teammates started to experiment with Red Man. They offered it to me several times, but I always declined. I declined until that fruity smelling tin of Skoal peach was offered to me. I took a pinch and loved the way it made me feel. I didn't decline a chew from that moment on.
That was in the Spring of 2006. I chewed everyday until I tried to quit 2010. I use "tried" because an Oregon football tailgate made me run like a fat kid to the last cupcake at a bake sale to 7-11 to grab a can. I went cold turkey for 12 days before that and thought - that wasn't very hard, I'll just quit again after this tin. Well, that was almost 7 years ago.
There were so many disgraceful things I would do because of chew. I would leave the Thanksgiving table early to go have a chew. My mom would ask me where I was and why I didn't say goodbye to grandpa. I would lie and say I felt sick. Obviously this is just one example of the many, but this drug had a firm grip on me.
So, getting back to my quitting plan. I was enjoying the 4mg gum. I didn't have any cravings to chew and thought I was making serious progress. Then, I woke up on March 25th with no gum left. I was chewing the gum on a pace of 25 pieces/day. That was a toxic amount of nicotine. The box said "DO NOT EXCEED MORE THAN 24 PIECES IN A DAY." I was pretty sure I had about 15 on day one so I crushed that max on a couple of the days. At that moment, I knew that I had to go cold turkey. I did purchase some Trident to keep my mouth occupied, but I was done with nicotine.
Days 1 and 2 were hard but tolerable. Once you get passed the morning urge, you can get passed the rest of them. It wasn't until day 3 when I thought I couldn't do it. I told myself that I NEED to find a bar to just take a drag off of a cig. But, instead of that, I googled "how to quit chew." That led me here. I spent the next several hours reading stories. It provided me with the strength to fight that craving and survive another day. On day 4, I came back to KTC and chatted in the group chat. Today, day 5, I became a member and posted roll.
Thank you for all of your stories and support. Tomorrow, I will be on Day 6 because of you.