We all know what you CAN do.
It's what you ARE doing that is concerning.
Look man. You come across as a nice kid. You're polite, and you're not fighting against the shit thrown at you (too much).
However, you just don't get it.
You fucking "posted roll" only in 2010 and caved within 2 months. You've waltzed back in here, and within the first couple weeks of stopping you have missed a roll and posted late. I do not see a plan here even though you were asked for one, and I really don't see a good enough answer to the three questions asked of all returning members (What happened? Why did it happen? What are you doing differently this time?).
You really need to wake the fuck up and own this quit because we can't do it for you. Quitting is your top priority from this moment on. No fucking excuses.
How many numbers you got?
What is your last line of defense when the nic bitch comes calling here again and this initial quit adrenaline has run out? It's easy to stop now, but it's harder to always remember.
Addict.
Thanks, Waste. I don't want to hurt a group by being lazy, and it essentially falls on me and only me. I didn't post on Saturday, and I let the thread know that last night, simply because I went brain dead on posting.
I have been lucky enough to receive #s from Grizzly25, Wt57 and SABRESTRIKE99. I haven't 'had' to use them yet, but I like knowing I have them in my phone to text when possible.
Maybe I'm going at it the wrong way, but I can't keep backtracking, because all that does is make people angry and I don't want to keep apologizing. The easy answer from you could very well be 'Then stop fucking being an idiot'. The thing is, I AM an idiot about this. I'm still in the dark about a quit plan, I asked about best tips for building a quit plan, and have gotten a couple tips that I use (post roll, get numbers, keep a log of your quit,etc.)
Last line of defense are these numbers. When I'm shaking and driving to the gas station, these numbers WILL be called/texted.
I have had cravings, I'm not having a perfect quit. I have been really fucking moody and have flamed all of my roommates during this time, but I have handled my usual triggers well, at least in the start. I haven't cracked at the gas station, which I visit often to pick up seeds/coffee/gas; I have played video games at length without worrying about when my next chew goes in; I turned down a chew that may as well have been put on a pedestal from my longtime friend.
You may be saying, 'big fuckin' deal, you're still in the early stages of quit.'
Early or not, like everyone on these threads have said, it's one day at a time, and as for the past 11 days, it's been good. Today has been good.
If my not posting Saturday is grounds for suspension of my account (and if my posting is annoying to you all, at the very least), let me know. I value your input here, but i don't want to jeopardize anyone's quit for the sake of me posting.
This is not me being nice. This is me being frustrated with myself and with the process.
Listen, man.
11 days if fucking awesome. Do not get me wrong. I just want to see you succeed.
First off, a nice quit plan is (as follows):
Post roll.
Keep your word.
Repeat.
It's that simple, but sometimes it's not easy.
Anybody can post roll. It takes a fucking badass to keep his word.
I'm not asking you to backtrack. In my quit, I live by a credence that you learn from the past, quit for today, and fuck the future. All you have to do is make it through today, as do I. I know you can do it because I did.
I'm going to pm you my number. Fucking use it. Even when you're not craving. Use those other numbers even when you don't need them. Just text to say hi. Tell your brothers that you are proud of them. Tell us when you are struggling. The more you put into this the more skin you have in the game, and the harder it is to disappear from the site again
Surely one of us can take a few moments out of our lives to help you. You may not know it, but you have a wealth of knowledge you can bestow on these new quitters. You've been there, and you've fallen. You can tell them why you fell, and make sure they don't fall into the same traps. You kind of know what to expect with this.
We respect anybody here that quits. However, retreads like yourself and myself are held to a higher standard. We were handed the keys to freedom, and we fucking blew it.
Never again. For any reason.
Period.
