Reflections on a week of QUIT!!!
Wow.. A week ago tonight I was pre-quit.. Using Skoal, wondering if I would every be free from it's grip..
To be quite honest, I was almost at that point of resignation where you just don't care anymore. I had tried so many times to shake this off, so many different schemes.. But I kept caving in.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that a week later I would have gone 7 days without poisoning my body with nicotine.
Last Monday morning when I stumbled upon this site, I really wasn't sure that I was going to sign up initially.. After reading a number of posts from folks who have been quit for a long time, as well as some of the posts from people who caved and came back, I realized this is exactly what I needed.
Last week was difficult.. The fog was thick.. I was pretty much useless at work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday..
There are so many people and things that helped me make it through the "no man's land" of the first three days..
- So many people's encouragement.. Messages, phone calls, chat, roll posts.. What an outpouring of support. I have never experienced anything like it ANYWHERE..
You ALL are totally, absolutely, mind blowingly AWESOME!!!!
- "Embrace the suck".. Just even that saying.. Helped me realize that it wouldn't last forever..
- Thankfully, my boss is an ex-smoker, so she understands the fog, irritability, irrationality, etc.. Tuesday was particularly bad. I was almost non-functional.. Really... It was that bad.
- She also arranged for me to have unlimited access to forum.killthecan.org at work. Normally these sites are blocked or limited by quota time. This was so helpful.
Unfortunately, I was still functional enough that I got irritated with several co-workers, and generally was a jerk. So the Tornado of Jackassery title fits personally as well. After my boss explained that I was off tobacco, and I apologized, things were better, but everyone was giving me a wide berth on Thursday and Friday.
I don't recommend this as a strategy to get out of meetings, btw...
Friday evening my Hooch herbal substitute order arrived.. It has helped a great deal.. I know there is a considerable amount of debate about whether this actually weakens the resolve or helps to fight off the urge. Personally, I have found it helpful to keep the urge to use tobacco at bay..
I know I have a long way to go.. I know that at least in this life, I will deal with this EVERY DAY, and have to make that choice and that promise that I will be QUIT, every day, for the rest of my life.
But this site has given me the tools to do that..
Don't worry... I'm here for the duration.. As long as the Lord gives me life and breath..
I just wanted to pause and say thanks to everyone.
Romandog
