Terrible freakin day

[Keddy]

Just wanted to come back and post introduction now that my head is clearer than when I stormed on here 20 days ago in the middle of a near nervous breakdown.

My name is James and I am from Louisiana. I am almost 42 and like a lot of you have been playing Russian roulette with a cancer causing product almost all my life. I took my 1st chew at age 5 and played around with it until I was an everyday user by age 12. I am married and have 3 boys and my selfish ass thought my desire for tobacco was more important than the possibility that I might be cheating my kids out of having a dad while they were growing up. Well now my selfish ass thinks that I want to live as long as possible to enjoy my kids as long as I can.

I am not gonna lie those 1st 5 days were pure hell. Then on day 6 I started a daily signing of roll. I get fewer cravings now, but when I do get them I know I have given my word to stay quit that day. I am very thankful for my cousin LeeRon who told my about this site, the vets who talked me through the 5th day, and my May quit brothers. Without all of them I would be more inclined to succumb to the craves.

I don't know what tomorrow holds but today I know my lip wont be holding any tobacco.

You're nearly at three weeks, James, and that's something to celebrate. Everyone goes through his/her own personal hell during the first part of quitting. It may be hard to believe now, but your life will be incredibly better as you continue. The freedom of being quit is worth all the struggles . . . . so is your life.

There's only one way out --- and that way is through. We don't turn around or backtrack here.

[Jameso]

Just wanted to come back and post introduction now that my head is clearer than when I stormed on here 20 days ago in the middle of a near nervous breakdown.

My name is James and I am from Louisiana. I am almost 42 and like a lot of you have been playing Russian roulette with a cancer causing product almost all my life. I took my 1st chew at age 5 and played around with it until I was an everyday user by age 12. I am married and have 3 boys and my selfish ass thought my desire for tobacco was more important than the possibility that I might be cheating my kids out of having a dad while they were growing up. Well now my selfish ass thinks that I want to live as long as possible to enjoy my kids as long as I can.

I am not gonna lie those 1st 5 days were pure hell. Then on day 6 I started a daily signing of roll. I get fewer cravings now, but when I do get them I know I have given my word to stay quit that day. I am very thankful for my cousin LeeRon who told my about this site, the vets who talked me through the 5th day, and my May quit brothers. Without all of them I would be more inclined to succumb to the craves.

I don't know what tomorrow holds but today I know my lip wont be holding any tobacco.

[G]

One of my faves:

index.php?showtopic=3861

[Moondawggy]

All I am thinking about is how I need a dip. I can smell it, I can taste it, my mouth waters just thinking how nice it would be. How screwed up is that, something you know will eventually kill would make your troubles easier to handle.

Man, I'm not that far ahead of you, and I'm by no means a vet, or probably even qualified to give anything other than an opinion here. But maybe since I JUST went through this, the fact that it is still VERY fresh in my mind will help you out a little. I'm on day 19 today, and day 5 for me was very close to what you're describing. I threw a little temper tantrum as well. It was therapeutic to throw it, but what NOLAQ and some of the other guys told me was more therapeutic. There is some serious shit that you need to hear, and you can't tell it to yourself.

Our day 5's are very similar, and I'll hedge a bet that many other people's day 5's are similar to yours. Find a way to make this quit about you bro, but in the mean time, do some reading on this site. I don't care where. You can head over to my intro page index.php?showtopic=5853hl= and read NOLAQ and Coach and Keddy and some other folks telling me what I couldn't tell myself. I needed those guys to do what they did and it got me through a rough fuckin day. Hopefully there's some stuff in there that will help you out. And from there, read some other people's stories. Find the people that are right for you and your quit, but listen to everyone man. We've all been there before.

I'm going to paraphrasingly quote NOLAQ here because when he said this to me, it woke me up. Hope it wakes you up too.

When someone "removes half of your cockholster," will you smell it, taste it, and will your mouth water? "Do you really need to be reminded of that?"

^^^THAT SHIT SAVED MY QUIT^^^^

Wake up bro, stop romanticizing that shit or you're doomed.

-Pie

[Radman]

I refuse to pull over and buy a can, but dang it I want to.

No, you don't want to. If you really wanted to buy a can, you would not be here searching for help. The addiction wants you to buy a can. The addiction will always want you to buy a can. You are stronger than that. Saying "NO!" to the addiction becomes just a little bit easier every day. Engage the battle, and remember every second of this misery. That is what will keep you quit in the long run. You never have to suffer through it again. You are quit.

[iQUIT85]

Digg in! Relish in the fact that you feel like garbage! It's up to you now to make yourself impenetrable to the can.

Think of this stage as a long overdue software update on one of those old PC's. Except up in your brain your being totally overhauled with new software, these updates take a long time and sometimes it seems like forever on those old POS's. However, have faith in KNOWING that IT WILL WORK. Soon you be able to work efficiently.

It gets better, your working through the worst part. You can do this.

So digg the fuck in, benefits are on the horizon.

[leeron]

JamesO,
You can do this. It gets better, trust me. Use this site as your tool box. Get educated and read others words of wisdom. Remember to post roll every day. You have my number, use it if you need it! Over the next few weeks, get some phone numbers from those in your quit group. Your quit brothers are your life raft. Check your inbox.

Try Live Chat (top right corner), great place to talk about this shit with others who have walked where you are walking now.

Remember: Post Roll, Keep your word, Repeat. It really is that simple.

Ron (aka leeron)

[DW3]

James, great job getting a post into May today. Not quite the way its supposed to be done but don't worry about it. There is a lot of learning going on in May right now and the noise level is high.

Hang tough, you have a great start and tomorrow will be better. Check you inbox

[Scowick65]

Work it one day at a time. It gets better.

[DW3]

5 days is a great start James but its a tough time and its clear you are looking for support. You came to the right place but the next step is all up to you.

Here we promise to quit for 24 hrs (called posting roll) and then we keep that promise. Do that and you will get all the support you could want. To find out more click the pink "welcome center" button on the upper left of the page. Get your promise into the "May Quit Group" today and you'll be on your way. It easier with support.

What you gonna do?

[Jameso]

Day 5 of my quit and I am pretty sure this day sucks to hell. It seems as if everything is going wrong. At least it is aggravating the crap out of me. All I am thinking about is how I need a dip. I can smell it, I can taste it, my mouth waters just thinking how nice it would be. How screwed up is that, something you know will eventually kill would make your troubles easier to handle. I refuse to pull over and buy a can, but dang it I want to. Thank goodness for some wintergreen chewing gum, or there is a good chance somebody would have been punched in the mouth. Damn you Kodiak, and to think I actually applied for a sales job with them in hopes of getting a discount. Yeah, I wasn't hooked.