Old Dog New Tricks

[CavMan83]

Last night I came very close to caving. I need to record here one of the reasons I didn't, so that I can look back on it months or years from now. My daughter hid the following message in my travel case which I found right before I had the craving:

dear dad, I know it is going to be a difficult time, but I know you can do it!! You taught me to be a strong motivated woman. The only way you could teach me that is if you had the same qualities. Good luck on your trip. I love you.

Add that support to the accountability i have to my fellow BAQs on KTC, and you know why I was strong enough to win last night.

That's the way to do it! Keep building that accountability and adding to the list of reasons why you should and CAN quit. I'm 84 days into this and I'm still adding reasons why I should remain quit to a file I made in Notepad. Believe me sir, over time, this does get better. Cravings become less intense and less frequent. I'm only 84 days in, and I've gone hours without thinking about it, even a whole day without thinking about it at all.

But then the game changes. At that point, you have to keep your tools to quit nearby so you don't find yourself blindsided and forget how to deal with craves. The point is, I was and still am inspired by your decision to quit dipping! 38 years is longer than I've been alive, but there you are, kicking nicotine's ass with the best of 'em. Keep it up!

OD,



You've already figured it out. Compared to the mental withdrawal, the physical crap was easy. You will be amazed at how, over the next weeks and months, your addict brain will continue to call out to you. There's a very good article on addiction, here. I look at it this way.... for 38 years you put enough of a nicotine drip into your system to kill a small rodent on a daily basis. Over that time, your brain built up a ton of dopamine receptors to feed off all that nicotine. Now the drip is shut off, and those receptors have to be rewired. They have to die. I think of them as little crazed nicotine demon bastards that are dying and in the process, generally wreaking havoc inside your head. That is the mental process you will have to overcome over the course of the next few months.

I'm not worried about your caving, though. In addition to the wonderful support you're getting from your family (at least from the daughter), you've got this accountability thing figured out. Build that web; wrap it as tight as necessary to keep you strong and safe.

Quit with you today.

[invader]

Last night I came very close to caving. I need to record here one of the reasons I didn't, so that I can look back on it months or years from now. My daughter hid the following message in my travel case which I found right before I had the craving:

dear dad, I know it is going to be a difficult time, but I know you can do it!! You taught me to be a strong motivated woman. The only way you could teach me that is if you had the same qualities. Good luck on your trip. I love you.

Add that support to the accountability i have to my fellow BAQs on KTC, and you know why I was strong enough to win last night.

That's the way to do it! Keep building that accountability and adding to the list of reasons why you should and CAN quit. I'm 84 days into this and I'm still adding reasons why I should remain quit to a file I made in Notepad. Believe me sir, over time, this does get better. Cravings become less intense and less frequent. I'm only 84 days in, and I've gone hours without thinking about it, even a whole day without thinking about it at all.

But then the game changes. At that point, you have to keep your tools to quit nearby so you don't find yourself blindsided and forget how to deal with craves. The point is, I was and still am inspired by your decision to quit dipping! 38 years is longer than I've been alive, but there you are, kicking nicotine's ass with the best of 'em. Keep it up!

[Old Dog New Tricks]

Last night I came very close to caving. I need to record here one of the reasons I didn't, so that I can look back on it months or years from now. My daughter hid the following message in my travel case which I found right before I had the craving:

dear dad, I know it is going to be a difficult time, but I know you can do it!! You taught me to be a strong motivated woman. The only way you could teach me that is if you had the same qualities. Good luck on your trip. I love you.

Add that support to the accountability i have to my fellow BAQs on KTC, and you know why I was strong enough to win last night.

[Old Dog New Tricks]

Day 7. Boy it feels good to wake up and be able to report that I am 100% nic free today, especially after last night's flirtation with caving. I quit with you today. To quote CavMan, NHNNNIML

[worktowin]

Thanks rdad. I have to say I was really disappointed in myself. There is absolutely no logic whatsoever to want to chew. No benefit at all and I know the risks, so why the hell would I even consider dipping again? I think I know the answer but I don't like it.

It's because I'm an addict right? I hate being an addict. I don't like the word and I don't like the hit to my self esteem when I say it. But as LJT says, I am an addict and I can never forget it. So accept it and take pride in being a recovering addict.

Okay, but this is a concept that's going to take time getting my arms around.

You are quitting the right way. The accountability here works. You are s leader in your group and on the intros. A lot of junior quitters, and veterans, have their eyes on your quit. People who immerse themselves in accountability know that they can't let themselves, much less all of those that support them or look to them for help, down.

You poisoned and mindfucked your brain for a long time. It takes time for an injury to heal. I promise renting cars gets easier.

Nice win by the way.

[Old Dog New Tricks]

Thanks rdad. I have to say I was really disappointed in myself. There is absolutely no logic whatsoever to want to chew. No benefit at all and I know the risks, so why the hell would I even consider dipping again? I think I know the answer but I don't like it.

It's because I'm an addict right? I hate being an addict. I don't like the word and I don't like the hit to my self esteem when I say it. But as LJT says, I am an addict and I can never forget it. So accept it and take pride in being a recovering addict.

Okay, but this is a concept that's going to take time getting my arms around.

[rdad]

Holy crap! That was really close! After 5 very manageable days, I get off the airplane and in a rental rental car and the nic bitch is giving me a total mind fuck. "Just one dip, no one will know. There. A gas station! Wouldn't it be awesome to have a dip for the long drive? Or how about one more at the hotel?"

"Yes, that would be....wait....No! Fuck you, FUck you, FUCk you, FUCK YOU."

I can't even believe it. I came so so so close to caving tonight. If I didn't have to be accountable to my family and the Samurai, I might have caved. Damn, she is a tricky bitch isn't she.

Phew. Okay. I'm still clean but that was too close. I feel like such a weakling even tho I didn't give in.

Hey bro. Every whisper of that bitch that you ignore makes you stronger. You get the power of accountability to your family here. Well done!

[Old Dog New Tricks]

Holy crap! That was really close! After 5 very manageable days, I get off the airplane and in a rental rental car and the nic bitch is giving me a total mind fuck. "Just one dip, no one will know. There. A gas station! Wouldn't it be awesome to have a dip for the long drive? Or how about one more at the hotel?"

"Yes, that would be....wait....No! Fuck you, FUck you, FUCk you, FUCK YOU."

I can't even believe it. I came so so so close to caving tonight. If I didn't have to be accountable to my family and the Samurai, I might have caved. Damn, she is a tricky bitch isn't she.

Phew. Okay. I'm still clean but that was too close. I feel like such a weakling even tho I didn't give in.

[worktowin]

KDIP just helped me through my last craving. Used his patented crave-killer involving pain resulting from slamming a body part in a desk drawer. Unconventional. Very Successful. High degree of permanent crave-killing memory.

From one old dog to the other, we will make our promise everyday therefore giving our word and our word is everything we will not dip! You're doing great and dammit my friend you have support out the wahzoo! Quit on! Damn proud to be quit with you my brother!

This young pup quits with both of you old dogs today.

[pab1964]

KDIP just helped me through my last craving. Used his patented crave-killer involving pain resulting from slamming a body part in a desk drawer. Unconventional. Very Successful. High degree of permanent crave-killing memory.

From one old dog to the other, we will make our promise everyday therefore giving our word and our word is everything we will not dip! You're doing great and dammit my friend you have support out the wahzoo! Quit on! Damn proud to be quit with you my brother!

[Old Dog New Tricks]

KDIP just helped me through my last craving. Used his patented crave-killer involving pain resulting from slamming a body part in a desk drawer. Unconventional. Very Successful. High degree of permanent crave-killing memory.

[Old Dog New Tricks]

Day 5: Surprisingly, this has been the worst of the first 5 days. Headache, and really tough cravings.

"Luke, I am your father. Come to the dark side."
"Nooooooo..."
"Close your eyes Luke, let the Force guide you."
"Obewan, help me dude."

***

Okay, temporary moment of 1980s insanity there. Phew. That was a bad craving. Back on track.

[Old Dog New Tricks]

I quit with you today, and you don't have to * out the u in fuck. Maybe the k, I hate the fucking k.

LOL. O*, you got it. No more fuc*ing *s. I QUIT WITH YOU BAMFQ!

[Thumblewort]

I quit with you today, and you don't have to * out the u in fuck. Maybe the k, I hate the fucking k.

[Old Dog New Tricks]

Day 5: I live in the Arizona desert. Everyone on KTC must be from the other 49 states because I don't think they appreciate that it's 105 degrees here when they say:

"Dude, fight cravings by going for a jog and sweating out those toxins"; "Hey, do 10 pushups on the sidewalk every time you have a craving." Guys! It's f*cking 105 degrees here. I'm not going for a damn jog. LOL

Actually, I did work outside in the garden all day and cleansed my body as much as any of those wacko, steam-hut, back-to-nature cults do. LOL

All-in-all, I had a really good day and was proud of myself for being clean.

However, I'm really nervous about tomorrow's work day. 90% of my habit was typically dipping while working at my computer. I work at home most days so no one here to watch me or offend. I promise all of my Samurai that I will stay strong (and will call you if I'm challenged), but I can already feel the mental battle beginning and it isn't even tomorrow yet.

I guess, if things get rough, I will indeed take everyone's advice and go for a jog in 105 degree weather. That should beat the shit out of my craving, right?

Cheers and good vibes out to all my KTC teammates.