Every night before I go to sleep and after I have my nightly dip I sit in bed for hours thinking about all the reasons I should quit, and after all that I finally convince myself that I have the will power to wake up in the morning throw out all of my grizzly and finally quit only to wake up go straight to the can throw in a massive dip and feel guilty for letting myself down.
This has been going on now for about a year. I have tried quitting because my fiancé wanted me to...that did not work I ended up frustrated and dissatisfied because "I want to quit on my own terms not someone else's". So for the new year 2012 I decided that this was my time to quit, to show myself and prove to myself that I could do this whole quitting thing. Well two days into it and what did I do? I started back and I was content with this telling my self every time I bought more dip that I would stop after this round, never doing so of course. Then I had a scare, I found a mass under my jaw that sent me running straight to my doctor, he said it was prob just an infection of my lympnodes but we shouldn't rule anything out, but did I quit even with the looming possibility of having lymphoma......NO! Man I feel like such an idiot.
Reading all of the information on this site has given me hope and as I currently have my morning dip in I am telling myself that I am going to stop today. Well I obviously cannot do this on my own but hopefully with the help and support from everyone one in this community I can quit and finally be tobacco free.
JDavi