To all of my KTC community
As most of you know im sure, yes I did cave. I am ashamed and dissappointed in myself. As the texts continue to roll in i reflect on my old quit as i begin my new quit. The last 30 days or so I feel as if i have lost a part of my life that had become so important. I put the shit ahead of the friends that I had made here. Please dont read into this as if im coming back so i can talk to my buddies again. Im quitting again because i know its the right thing to do. I dont want to look back 3 yrs from now and say man i had a good thing goin. Throughout my first quit i can't honestly say that i took nicotene off the table forever....it just never really crossed my mind....sure i said it a bunch in chat and helping noobs out, but i dont know if i ever really grasped the idea of it ...even after 330 days. My story is actually quite simple. Everything was chugging along just fine..no craves, no dreams, no nothing everything was great. I was taking a much needed minivacation offshore with a bunch (10 others to be exact) of buddies of mine to go offshore fishin for 4 days. No computers, no phones, no tv, no nothing, just fishing and drinkin and having a good time with old friends. The only thing i didnt prepare myself for was that 8 of them smoked or dipped or both. The first night on the boat was my demise, after a long trip there and three bars later we finally boarded the boat and really started to party. The only thing i can say to this point is ....I JUST WASNT PREPARED TO DEAL WITH IT. I dont know what made me say yes, besides sheer stupidity. Im not gonna break it down to every second what was goin through my head, mostly because it was just a blur, it almost didnt seem real after all the time and effort and pain....it just didnt seem real. All i can do now is say with humility and shame is that I quit with you today.
Retreadgriz.