Hi everyone,
I'll start by stating that I am on my second attempt at quitting. The first time I quit cold turkey in 2007 and stayed off all nicotine for about a year and a half. Like a dumbass, I started back about six months ago during the process of moving my family to a new home. I know it's an excuse to use that for starting back but I say that mostly as a point of reference to when I started using again. Started back at work one day by bumming a pinch off of a coworker that was more than willing to give one up. After that, it was on again as soon as I could find a gas station after work. Anyways, the drug of choice has been timberwolf wintergreen long cut most of the 9 years I used. It all began with occasional smoking in high school with friends (I also grew up in a smoking household). Stopped that for a girlfriend about two years out of school and started the dip. So now I am happily married with kids and would prefer to live out the standards I expect from my own sons. The way I see it, and I truly believe this, if I don't stop now the cycle is more likely to continue to my own children. I can see first hand the differences in a tobacco free family and one that uses. My in-law side is almost totally tobacco free and it seems to be frowned upon and it is just not used nor seems to be passed on to the next generation. On the other hand, my side of the family has almost no one that doesn't use some form of tobacco and so do almost all the children when they become adults. It's also worth mentioning that from an objective viewpoint it is amazing to me (and quite obvious really) how the health and breathing problems of children on one side drastically differ from the children of the non-smokers. Nevertheless, you cannot make the users see that and God help you if you try. Okay, I'm off the high horse now and really shouldn't berate smokers as I am just as addicted, even if it is dip. So here I am on day 2 of my 2nd attempt and plan to make this the final farewell to that bitch mistress that is nicotine. I will break the chains once and for all because I do remember how freeing it was to be totally off the can. Your whole outlook really does change for the better. You actually slow down and can taste food again. You don't schedule your days and events around the can. You become a nicer person and just feel healthier. And most of all, you aren't living like a hypocrite in front of your family. Just have to make it through the fog and keep the mind occupied. That is why it is 3am and I am here right now with a mouthful of peppermint tic-tacs. I have read a ton from here before and it does help to read the opinions and encouragement of others. My favorite thing is the 100 reasons to quit on the main page as it really does make you realize how disgusting and obnoxious this habit really is. It's almost comical to think of the things people do for a nic hit. I remember watching people dip and spit and how utterly disgusting and stupid it really looks when you aren't a member of that club. I can't really pinpoint what made me put it down again two days ago. Maybe it was my realization that my baby boy is starting to really talk and mimic what I do and here I am setting a terrible example for this innocent child that looks up to me. Or it could be that I noticed my older boy out in the yard spitting without realizing it for no reason and asking him why he was doing that and telling him to stop because it is gross and it's rude to spit. Hmmm....I wonder if it's because he has seen Dad doing just that for so long. Well, I think I have rambled enough and will probably need to vent some more later so I'll save the rest. Thanks for reading and thanks for all the information I've reamed thus far from the site. Good luck to all!
