Struggling today. Not really sure what is spurring it, but the cravings have been stronger than usual so far today. My mind is running 90 to nothing, and it is screwing with my focus. I have some herbal to help me through it, I am just not a big fan of this feeling. Does anyone else deal with this? Where you just cannot shut your mind off? It is killing my sleep, and killing my focus. Even with my exercising and eating clean(er), it is still screwing me up.
I guess it would be different if my mind were racing with important information, but instead, as always, it is just a bunch of useless crap. Still quitting today.
been there....done that.....got the t-shirt.
I used to call days like this the "could-giva-shits" and on really rough days like this the "sincerely could-giva-flying-fucks".
It is part of the process. Take encouragement.....it means you are winning. As with most things in life, things worth doing are gonna be difficult.
Corrective actions to change dumbass mistakes are ALWAYS difficult. For all of us, that first dip was a major dumbass mistake......Congrats, like me, we now get to pay the piper.....
Here's the thing little brother.....
Ole mule posted roll this morning....yes, after over 2000 days, I still post roll. It takes very little time out of my day and is as much a part of my routine as brushing my teeth. It is habit....a good one.....one that makes me realize the following:
I absolutely refuse to give back a single hard earned day, hour or minute to my addiction.
I give honor to my efforts and accomplishment of keeping my word yesterday.
I am reminded of the critical role my integrity plays in my quit.
I am reminded that I have brothers that I depend on......and that depend on me.
I am quit.....today....no matter what may happen....I know there is nothing that will overpower the simple act of putting my promise out there in the form of roll call. (I may require the aid of the many tools that can be found on this site or the option of reaching out to a brother that truly "gets what I'm going thru" via text, chat or phone call.....but I AM prepared....and ready to protect my vow today....no matter what)
Ole mule stands a little taller when I read of your struggles....it reminds me of where I, myself have been.....and while I know from the valley you may find yourself today, it may be difficult to see the horizon.....
Have hope.....
it is there.....and it is beautiful.
Post up in April 08 with old mule.....I got your back.