Sent this text to a couple of my quitters a few nights ago, amid an end of semester drunken stupor. This summarizes a bit of my approach to KTC. To the vet mentioned early in this wall, you were one of the keys to keeping me quit through the early rough patches, and this is in no way a dig at you.
"I had an interesting conversation with some vets about "owning your quit" tonight. One of the July quitters said "if 'insert name' caved, it would hurt my quit", to which I agreed with the concept. The vet in turn stated I should never say such things, because they allow me an excuse if one of my contacts caved. It got me thinking about the system. The folks with years and years of quit, I'm sure they have had their share of caves that stung more than others. Perhaps not seeing their early friends on roll has desensitized them to close connections. But the quit is unique to each person, no? It's obvious that everyone goes through constant reevaluations of quit, but my connection to those that I quit alongside EDD will never change. I don't expect to talk with both of you on a nightly basis as I did approaching 100. I'm sure there will come a point when it becomes weeks between check-ins, and perhaps a point when someone stops posting roll, but we will always be a team of quit. I am a passionate person, with a circle of friends that, although small, is one which I would do anything for. The Irish concept of "clan". I apologize for the novel, but this celebratory end of semester drunken ramble has a point. I want you both to know that you have been, and will always be a piece of what defines my quit. The term "brotherhood" does not have barriers. That is family. I would not be quit today if I hadn't have had your support and friendship through this shit. The constant reevaluation of quit will probably bring a point where all that I need is the simple placement of my name on that roll, but today is not it. In the moments when my mind brings up nicotine, not letting you two down is one of the most powerful defenses I have. Would one of you caving hurt my quit? You're god damn right it would. G, you reiterated that concept early on, "quit for you". But in the end, how many times did we attempt to just "quit for you" on our own before we got here? My resolve is damn near unbreakable, but I no doubt have a portion that lies within the connection to my closest quitters. /rant over."
Obviously many of the badasses who stick around here have very close connections with others. There is brotherhood among quitters into the hundreds and thousands which I could not even begin to comment on because they have built it in their own way over years.
My point is this: the strongest bonds have no "disconnect". Brotherhood requires trust. We don't quit on our own, we quit together. I understand that this differs from "my quit" as opposed to "your quit", but what is brotherhood if we don't value them closely? If I tell someone that my quit gains strength from having them right there with me, battling the monster, it's hard to see the truth in that statement if the opposite did not cause some degree of harm.
Anyway, I haven't updated this for a while so I'm going to give some shoutouts. I want to thank all of the Resolute Bastards who not only signed up for 200 but have stayed true to their word and continue to post roll EDD. A congrats to all of the Project Mayhem Snowflakes (PMS) who recently hit the Hall and those who are just about to. The strength and bond of your group is awesome to see. To the June Bugs - I've tried to be a positive influence on many of your quits, and can't wait to see you all hit the HOF.
Keep battling all. Stay strong, stay quit, and stay ghey. Much love
