Hello Quitters,
Fearls here- I am in my Day 10 quit. I found this site a year or so ago when i wanted to quit again for the 10th time- and think i put it out of my mind due to the scary reality that i didn't want to believe.
I am 35. I smoked in college and like others- turned to dip as a "better" alternative. 10+ years later and found myself unable to stop- for a single half day. Paranoid. Anxious all the time. Hiding it from my family, kids asking my what was in my eating. Staying up until 2am "working" but really just to have some dip time. Worrying if i had enough to get through the next few plugs. Really Dip running every thought of my life- living one dip to the next. Dental fears- oh and of course death.
I tried it all in the past- Mint Chew, smokey mt, nicotine lozenges/gum, seeds- always managed to go back the old Copenhagen Wintergreen. Only when came back to the site last week- it occurred to me what was missing. Support. There was nothing stopping me from going back other then myself. Also- just replacing nicotine with less Nicotine- wouldn't work. That was always my go to for quitting- Nic gum or lozenges.
A little over a week a go i just had enough. i was tired of it all. Tired of being scared- but worse, tired of talking myself out of being scared.
I was sick last week which made it easier to get through day one- then roughed though the 3 hell days. Just Gum and water. I did this all prior to posting the first roll around day 5. That is when it was needed. The real trick is to quit forever- which cant be done without another level of "mental" support. After a week- its all mental and in the past it was just me talking myself out of my quit. I don't want that to happen again.
I am happy to be here and thanks so much for all the welcome support I have already gotten.
Fearls