I am pretty damn good at everything I do. I should have no reason to think I cant get good at this someday, too. But right now, I suck. Whaa, whaa, whaa. I am even tired of hearing myself whine.
I went to a fishing show today and hated every minute of it. I usually love it and spend hours there. Watching all these people walking around with a fat dip in, spitter in hand. I should be pitying them, being almost 2 weeks in. Nope, instead I wanted to be them. Not a care in the world. They actually have booths giving away free Kodiac and Grizzly. I usually stock up on that shit. Nope, had to walk on by, with the chatter in my head, talking to myself like fucking rainman.
Just getting nervous because of all the chatter about "wanting to quit for yourself" is the only thing that is gonna make it happen. Well I wanted to quit 12 days ago, right now I don't. Not at all, nope, I want it back. The only reason I am marching on is for others, mostly my wife and children but also the committment I make every morning. If it were just me, I would have caved days ago.
Gonna give it the 100 days, if I am still feeling the way I feel today I will be reconsidering the decision. Life is too short to be miserable. I sure hope you all are right about how great it is when everything gets better and easier and smoother and worth it, etc.