Introduction

[Skidwilly]

Day 229
Feeling great. I still have a mini thoughts of the romance of dip. But with the time between quitting and just plain quit (acceptance that it is off the table of options)it is easier to step back, and see the habit is nasty, that as alluring as the memory,the smell would be putrid, the taste would be sickening, the horrific thought of breaking your word to many many Quitters Is just not worth it.

Having had some rough life days, with my poor reactions to stress, my unkindness, not having the piece of mind to not over react and be angry, I needed a change (otherwise known as growth) to keep the important people in my life, in my life.

I ran across the wim hof method, it is partially a breathing method and a cold water therapy. The science behind it is fascinating. What it does to your body is amazing. I really wish I would have known about this earlier in my quit, it has been a game changer for me personally. I am more calm, I can think clearer, and have a better grasp on my inner voice. I really enjoy it and can say I have felt happy.
I have been doing this for about 4 weeks now, just doing the basics, soon to get the 10 week course and I am going to take a class....5 hours away. Yes 5 hours and I want to drive there and back in one day.
Check it out, if you have auto immune issues really check it out.
Wim hof
Great pod cast from Joe rogan

Great stuff.....really.....worth your time, basics are free online, check it out!
Breathe motherfucker

[Skidwilly]

133 today, Sunday morning and just finished posting support and came to re read what I put down here in the past. Wow. Funny how I can remember those shitty days. I did have a Funk around 110-115 which was medley of emotions, from the feeling of day one craves, the blahs, the hair trigger rage outbursts, dip daydreams,and the zero fucks given attitude. Since then, I have felt pretty great, other than the normal highs and lows of modern life. I still use fake, mostly at work, but got off grinds, the extra caffeine was not good for me. The Oregon Mint Beaver Chew is pretty good. Keep on keeping on the Quit.

[lmcb]

Skid!! I thank you for your support!
Getting to 100-great job!! Do not slack off-- push ahead!!
I stay quit with you today!
The Old Man

check out the song below--100days100nights--interesting lyrics

[BrianG]

Congrats on Day 100 Tony!!

You are an example to all others of how to do this quit thing the right way.

Proud to quit with you!!

[ChickDip]

Congrats on your 100 days quit!
Cheers to 101 and beyond Skid!

[Skidwilly]

Day 72-73
What a messed up couple of days. I stared raging over nothing and it continued for 15 hours. Total mess. It was a sneaky rage. I did not even recognize it was happening. But I was pissed. The following day was a misty foggy brain. I could not think. It was like learning to swim. Just gasping for air. Popped out the other side, and I feel great. I have found some calm. Today I am quit 76 days. I feel the "it does get better" comments you hear from others before you. I do feel great. I also took the first phone call from another quitter. That was awesome, it did give me some hope. Samrs thank you. As always BrianG, for the listening.
**the above was written while I was feeling good. There are a few posts in the group where I was a lil angry, and foggy, so my skills with the English language was a bit jumbled.

[Nomore1959]

I am on day 55 today. And the last two days I have not felt even mildly enthusiastic about anything. Good things are happening and I give no fucks. I really hope this is some sort of mid HOF funky funk funk. I also have had weird realistic daydreams of getting a can. I was at the store 30 minutes ago, I did look at the dip counter, but felt no need to get some. Is this a fleeting mental game going on? Why do I give no fucks. I have a fancy memory of what it feels like to feel good. Like wow I have not felt this good in some time. That is not today.
I know I must be strong and I must be here for those I promise to everyday. This feels really hard right now. Not that I am getting a can, not that I ever will. But she is whispering how easily we can go back to the "numbing of feelings". Where we poison ourselves so we can deal with it all. These "craves" or thoughts of dip coincide with feeling low, irritable and not good. Also stress is picking back up at work. These being triggers. This is one of those days where time seems to slow, and I feel all the things I missed, not learning how to feel because I was an addict. Is it quite possible I have dipped for so long at such an early age that I never learned how to feel, how to deal with emotional stress? Being male, it was easy to hide behind "tough" even easier with a dip in. Remember how this day feels. I do not like the last few days. This is not the fun stuff of quitting. This sucks.

Tony, funks will come and go even past HOF. Same with dip dreams. I know it is hard to believe, but this is part of healing. It will get better. The good days will outnumber the flat ones. And you will end up better than you can imagine. Keep documenting your quit here. You will see progress.

[Skidwilly]

I am on day 55 today. And the last two days I have not felt even mildly enthusiastic about anything. Good things are happening and I give no fucks. I really hope this is some sort of mid HOF funky funk funk. I also have had weird realistic daydreams of getting a can. I was at the store 30 minutes ago, I did look at the dip counter, but felt no need to get some. Is this a fleeting mental game going on? Why do I give no fucks. I have a fancy memory of what it feels like to feel good. Like wow I have not felt this good in some time. That is not today.
I know I must be strong and I must be here for those I promise to everyday. This feels really hard right now. Not that I am getting a can, not that I ever will. But she is whispering how easily we can go back to the "numbing of feelings". Where we poison ourselves so we can deal with it all. These "craves" or thoughts of dip coincide with feeling low, irritable and not good. Also stress is picking back up at work. These being triggers. This is one of those days where time seems to slow, and I feel all the things I missed, not learning how to feel because I was an addict. Is it quite possible I have dipped for so long at such an early age that I never learned how to feel, how to deal with emotional stress? Being male, it was easy to hide behind "tough" even easier with a dip in. Remember how this day feels. I do not like the last few days. This is not the fun stuff of quitting. This sucks.

[Bill Dance]

Hope your quit is still going strong. Whenever you feel weak or get the urge to wanna look back, go and Google pictures of mouth cancer.....I promise you won't EVER go back to dip if you do!

[Skidwilly]

hey Skidwilly, feel free to reach out for additional digits....

It will get better and easier. It's best to focus on your life, brisk walking or doing some light weights worked for me, and get engaged with other quitters: newbies/vets/quitters in your group, then you'll realize suddenly one day that it isn't as bad as it was. And then later, you'll realized it's even easier. My point is, looking at each day and seeing if it's an easy one is sure to disappoint. Shift your focus to the big picture, and one day at a time with no nic.

Also, it helped me to think that I am not just enduring some shitty suffering, I am choosing to be reborn into freedom from nicotine. It's a privilege, and an honor, and a daily victory. Pat yourself on the back each day. The discomfort you feel is the price for freedom, and it is worth it.

Wow!
Thank you Zeno for the perspective check. I really know I am on the correct path. I just need to convince my brain that I will no longer feed it nicotine, and it can stop asking. Yes it asks less but still asks. . The deep down scary stuff is that I'm trying to figuring out who I am, beyond the dip. Am I the same person? I would say no, maybe, kinda and kinda not, because the addict has been there 26 years. And most likely there before that, as I remember chewing redman around 14-15 years old. And dipping some in high school. So I have grown to who I am as an addict. I let that out here, I let it go here. And I somewhat feel like I am in the stage of unknowing. Just pondering the void of not dipping. Finding motivation to do something. I just feel lazy, yes I work, I exercise but I feel like I did or got done more while dipping. But that too could be a smokescreen.

[Zeno]

hey Skidwilly, feel free to reach out for additional digits....

It will get better and easier. It's best to focus on your life, brisk walking or doing some light weights worked for me, and get engaged with other quitters: newbies/vets/quitters in your group, then you'll realize suddenly one day that it isn't as bad as it was. And then later, you'll realized it's even easier. My point is, looking at each day and seeing if it's an easy one is sure to disappoint. Shift your focus to the big picture, and one day at a time with no nic.

Also, it helped me to think that I am not just enduring some shitty suffering, I am choosing to be reborn into freedom from nicotine. It's a privilege, and an honor, and a daily victory. Pat yourself on the back each day. The discomfort you feel is the price for freedom, and it is worth it.

[Skidwilly]

Day 41-
Feel a bit better, still crave at work, as I dipped at work. Hard to change the face of that habit. I take much inspiration from the active members in my group and other groups. The crave seems to go hand in hand with being angry or having a shortened fuse. Been using fake dip and ordered some grinds today. See how that works.
I still read all I can and feel very attached to this site. I enjoy reading, helping and cheering on my fellow quitters victories!
I read what others before me say, about what to expect, I know I am not out of the woods yet. I feel like I am constantly waiting for this to get easier. Maybe today it is an easy day. One day at a time. I am trying to be the best quitter I can be to my wife and co-workers. The addict brain sometimes just makes me an asshole.
I feel pretty good today,live poker game tonight, i have lost all interest in online poker since my quit. Not sure if it gave me an excuse to be alone playing cards with my dip.
I was surprised to see how long it has been since I posted last. And how 2 weeks can feel like forever ago.

[Skidwilly]

Did 45 on the treadmill that helped a lot with the blahs. *remember to exercise

[Skidwilly]

Day26-27
Feeling a little flat, angry. The anger seems to be equally as strong as the craving voice talking excuses to have a dip. Maybe even a feeling of despair, maybe stemming from everything I ever did revolved around having a dip. Is it possiable the rage and anger is the chemical wanting its poison to make it allllll quiet again. Today I will not dip. Little addict voice. I do not give you the power to drive me. I make the rules, not you.
*Side note*the mouth soreness is easing up a bit. Too many hard mints I think chewed up

I think the rage and anger is a mechanism in the brain to make you crack a little. It is fighting it's war with you to get you to cave.
You slippery succubus

Just a little venting, and my playbook of a quit.
Also it feels good to feel as if I am helping someone else on the path of quitting.

[Zoe'sDad]

Thanks for sharing your struggles here, Skidwilly. Stay strong. Earn your freedom. It's a daily struggle, but it gets better. I was inspired by your story and I needed that today. Thanks.