I started dipping right around the age of 12Â… so a slave to the nic bitch for 31 years. For the last several years, I only took a dip out of my mouth when eating a mealÂ…yeah, I slept with a dip in my top lip every nightÂ…on purpose. For the last few years IÂ’ve not needed to spitÂ…why waste the taste. I guess when you dip roughly 23 hours out of the day every single day, you get used to it. Starting at such a young age, I donÂ’t ever remember a time of not dipping. Most people never realized I dipped because I didn't need to spit.
IÂ’ve tried quitting on several occasions in 31 years. My best attempt lasted 5 days. Coincidentally I am on day 5 today. About a week prior to my quit date, I began to plan out my quit. I evaluated past failures. I always tried to quit over a long holiday weekend. It would workÂ…but then I would go back into work and fail that very day when the stresses started piling on. So basically I would put my family through hell over a long holiday weekend only to fail abruptly within an hour of returning to work. I decided this time I would try on a Sunday. This would get me into it a day before going to work and then I would just face it head on at my most stressful time.
I would have just quit on the Monday, but there is significance to the date of the Sunday that I quit. Sixteen years prior, 10/16/2000, my wife and I packed up our 1 year old daughter and moved from OH to NC. She and I had an agreement. She would quit smoking. I would quit dipping. She is a strong woman and did it. I caved before the day was out. [On a side note, it is probably best that we didnÂ’t quit at the same time. That was 2-3 weeks of hell for both of us. Had I also been raging like she was, one of us would probably no longer be here and the other would be in jail! Haha]. So, my quit date is significant, and I wanted to use that as motivation to stay quit this time. Also motivation, that one year old girl is now 17Â…almost an adult. Her younger sister just turned 15 last week. Their younger brother turns 8 next weekÂ… and the youngest girl turns 2 next month! IÂ’ve got a beautiful wife and 4 great kids to live for.
So, yeah, 5 days inÂ… been here (3-5 days quit) plenty of times. IÂ’m getting sick of chewing so much gum. The Smokey Mountain shit from Walmart is not as refreshing today as it had been the last few days. Coffee grounds are tearing up my lips. I have to admit that I chuckled a bit when I first found this site and read about the concept of posting rollÂ… As I sit here at work right now, the only reason I havenÂ’t hit the gas station is because I posted roll this morning and made an oath with a bunch of other quitters. That is going to get me through today. I will post again tomorrow and the next dayÂ… one day at a time. Just knowing there are others going through this with me at this very moment gives me strength. IÂ’m a little baffled to be honest. IÂ’ve forsaken my family many times for that nic bitchÂ…but for a bunch of strangers and a number and my word I am keeping up the fight. I donÂ’t understandÂ…but it is working, so IÂ’ll take it. Thanks to all.