Quit for a while, still struggling

[wastepanel]

Been a long time since posting. I hit the HOF tomorrow and wanted to post a few reflections here (instead of writing the essay I should have had done an hour ago).

1. I joined late so I wasn't initially placed in an October TITAN accountability group. Realized this afternoon that I was recently added to one, and I wasn't sure what to do. Decided to PM each member of my group my phone number, so that they can keep me accountable. If they want me to keep them accountable, that's their choice and I will happily oblige, but at the minimum I want to know that if I miss even one day I have ten people that can kick my ass back onto KTC.

In the end, I think accountability is what got me to where I am in my quit. Whether it was on Kakao, KTC, the chat room or phone calls and texts (and even an email from SP one time) — the minuscule short-term enjoyment I might get out of a dip is FAR outweighed by the feeling of betrayal I would get the moment it hit my lip. Not a chance.

2. I've got to apologize for being pretty selfish about my quit the last week or two. When I first jumped on KTC a month ago I wanted to comment on every new quitter's thread, post support in every group, reach out to a new member every day, etc. Fact is life got pretty crazy and I've only been able to do the bare minimum, posting roll. It's my goal to ramp up my presence on KTC after I hit the HOF — I hope y'all will hold me accountable on that one too.

See you on the other side of HOF to start climbing that long staircase up to the 2nd floor!

You do what you have to do when you need to.

Fucking proud of you man, and all I ask is that you keep it up. Post roll. Post more if you want to. That's the beauty of the place: We ask you post roll. We ask you to be honest. That's all. No more. No less. Be there for your brothers and ask for help when you need it.

[canless2014]

Been a long time since posting. I hit the HOF tomorrow and wanted to post a few reflections here (instead of writing the essay I should have had done an hour ago).

1. I joined late so I wasn't initially placed in an October TITAN accountability group. Realized this afternoon that I was recently added to one, and I wasn't sure what to do. Decided to PM each member of my group my phone number, so that they can keep me accountable. If they want me to keep them accountable, that's their choice and I will happily oblige, but at the minimum I want to know that if I miss even one day I have ten people that can kick my ass back onto KTC.

In the end, I think accountability is what got me to where I am in my quit. Whether it was on Kakao, KTC, the chat room or phone calls and texts (and even an email from SP one time) — the minuscule short-term enjoyment I might get out of a dip is FAR outweighed by the feeling of betrayal I would get the moment it hit my lip. Not a chance.

2. I've got to apologize for being pretty selfish about my quit the last week or two. When I first jumped on KTC a month ago I wanted to comment on every new quitter's thread, post support in every group, reach out to a new member every day, etc. Fact is life got pretty crazy and I've only been able to do the bare minimum, posting roll. It's my goal to ramp up my presence on KTC after I hit the HOF — I hope y'all will hold me accountable on that one too.

See you on the other side of HOF to start climbing that long staircase up to the 2nd floor!

[canless2014]

As promised, keeping myself accountable. Made it to Columbus, OH and back, and absolutely did NOT fucking cave. Decent crave, I'll admit, but luckily I was prepared and had my jerky chew with me.

Couple thoughts I had:

- Passed the 1-800-QUIT-NOW sign twice during the drive. I remember when I would pass it and say to myself - "after this can, I'm going to call. I'll figure this out." But of course, after that can, what did we do dippers? ANOTHER CAN! Felt good to pass by thinking it would be a good resource to use to stay quit, instead of getting quit.

- Passed by the Speedway where I broke down last time I stopped dipping. Gave them a big "FUCK YOU" out the window. I know it's not their fault, I take responsibility for my decisions, but damn it felt good to drive right by.

- Crazy the smallest things that used to justify grabbing some dirt. I'm driving a new car, and it came with the 30-day XM/Sirius satellite radio subscription. Well, it ran out a week ago but it kept playing for some reason. When I turned it on to come back home, it finally stopped and would only play the intro channel. What was my first thought? "I need a dip". BECAUSE OF THAT!? Sorry, Brian, you don't do that SHIT anymore. QLF/QFL.

Thanks for putting up with the rant. Happy to still be quit with all of you.

[Tuco]

Hey everybody. So I'm doing a drive today up to Columbus to visit my girlfriend. This was the drive where I broke down and bought a can the last time I "stopped" dipping.

I will not cave today and ruin my quit. It's not an option. However, I wanted some extra accountability besides roll, so I am posting here now and I will post again when I get home around midnight, letting all of you know that I did not cave.

Also avoiding the gas station I always stopped at along the way by fueling up and picking up some jerky chew beforehand.

Have a great day everyone.

Good call, canless. Keep your txt machine handy, too.

[canless2014]

Hey everybody. So I'm doing a drive today up to Columbus to visit my girlfriend. This was the drive where I broke down and bought a can the last time I "stopped" dipping.

I will not cave today and ruin my quit. It's not an option. However, I wanted some extra accountability besides roll, so I am posting here now and I will post again when I get home around midnight, letting all of you know that I did not cave.

Also avoiding the gas station I always stopped at along the way by fueling up and picking up some jerky chew beforehand.

Have a great day everyone.

[jwright]

Hi all. I quit back on June 30 of this summer, so it's been quite a while now. I've been reading KTC since I quit, but thought I was doing well on my own and didn't need the support of the forum. Well, I'm back at college (where I began smoking / dipping almost three years ago) and the cravings are pretty strong again. Hoping by posting roll and getting to know everyone on here I can keep my quit going to make 100 days soon.

My dad smoked since long before I was born, and I thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world until first year of college. Bought a pack of cigarettes for an all-nighter and I was hooked. Went from social smoker to ninja smoker pretty quickly, ended up going through about a pack every other day. Quit a few times, never for more than 1.5 months. A year ago I went camping with a good friend — she offered me some Grizz Wintergreen. Well, I thought it was pretty great and I kept telling myself I wouldn't keep it up, but there I was this June, about to go in for some unrelated surgery and realized I couldn't keep telling the doctors I didn't use tobacco if it was going to show up on my hospital admissions tests. So I quit.

Any advice for quitting while at college / times of stress would be much appreciated. Lucky to have very few friends who dip, unfortunately many smoke. Only one or two (not even girlfriend) ever knew I dipped.

Sorry for the novel. Hope everyone has a great night.

- Brian , quit date 6/30/2014

Canless, first of all, do this for yourself NOW and save precious years of your life and some teeth along the way. I literally feel like yesterday I was 20 years old battling dipping in the library in the dorm room, fucking everywhere while I studied, etc... in the blink of an eye I'm 33 and dipping my face off every day while I work. I will tell you NOTHING will change unless you make the decision for yourself, and you've done the best fucking thing by coming here.

As for dealing with stress I have this to say. Dip NEVER fucking helped you with stress... seriously NEVER. It really only made things a lot fucking worse for you. Actually, it probably is holding you back from being the best student you can be. Why? Because you might not be studying with the right people as you are too busy feeding your addiction by studying alone so you can dip. Or... perhaps because your body is fucking craving nicotine all night, you are not sleeping half as well as you are naturally programmed to. The list goes on and on... but one thing is for sure, when times get tough, dip is not on your side or helpful in any capacity.

PM me if you need any help with your quit and welcome.

It will be super fucking hard for you to quit, but reach out to us here that are aged in 30's, 40's, 50's and up and ask us about our dental status, opportunities we've lost, stupid shit we've done just to feed that addiction.

Post roll, and deal with your addiction ODAAT (one day at a time).

[FMBM707]

Trying to keep a record of things I've realized while quitting, so I can go back and look when I'm struggling.

I'm a big library guy (senior in college) and I usually do 7 to 8 hour stretches here. I was really dreading it because since freshman year tobacco has been what kept me focused. Thought it was going to be a huge trigger going more than half an hour studying without it.

What I realized today:
- Was looking for a nice secluded desk where nobody could see me, and then realized I don't chew anymore, so what the hell does it matter — I don't have to worry about grossing people out.
- Since I'm not smoking, I don't have to get up and walk outside every hour, worrying that I'm going to come back and my laptop will be stolen.

Living life without dip feels good!

Canless, that is one of the things I like best about being quit. How simple life is without having to go through a bunch of planning and escaping just to get our fix. Good Job!

Canless- quitting now as a senior in college will be one of the best decisions you'll ever make. There is no reason to ever put that shit in your body again. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.

It's important to Quit one day at a time but it's also important to burn the boats = never again for any reason (NAFAR). If you read enough on here you'll read stories of guys who stopped for awhile (sometimes years) and then thought "I'll just have one" The common theme among ALL of them was that one turned into years of continued abuse.

Use the tools of KTC to fuel your quit or to help you through rough times.

You want some advice: Don't be Randy

topic/1008847/1/#new


Welcome to perHof October 2014 quit group.

[rdad]

Trying to keep a record of things I've realized while quitting, so I can go back and look when I'm struggling.

I'm a big library guy (senior in college) and I usually do 7 to 8 hour stretches here. I was really dreading it because since freshman year tobacco has been what kept me focused. Thought it was going to be a huge trigger going more than half an hour studying without it.

What I realized today:
- Was looking for a nice secluded desk where nobody could see me, and then realized I don't chew anymore, so what the hell does it matter — I don't have to worry about grossing people out.
- Since I'm not smoking, I don't have to get up and walk outside every hour, worrying that I'm going to come back and my laptop will be stolen.

Living life without dip feels good!

Canless, that is one of the things I like best about being quit. How simple life is without having to go through a bunch of planning and escaping just to get our fix. Good Job!

[canless2014]

Trying to keep a record of things I've realized while quitting, so I can go back and look when I'm struggling.

I'm a big library guy (senior in college) and I usually do 7 to 8 hour stretches here. I was really dreading it because since freshman year tobacco has been what kept me focused. Thought it was going to be a huge trigger going more than half an hour studying without it.

What I realized today:
- Was looking for a nice secluded desk where nobody could see me, and then realized I don't chew anymore, so what the hell does it matter — I don't have to worry about grossing people out.
- Since I'm not smoking, I don't have to get up and walk outside every hour, worrying that I'm going to come back and my laptop will be stolen.

Living life without dip feels good!

[Tuco]

Thanks MonsterEMT and Southpaw32. Class in a little bit, just posted roll for Day 71. I didn't realize until I spent practically the whole day on KTC yesterday that I needed some accountability. Up until now the way I've stayed quit is by thinking, "well I've made it this far it would be stupid to have to do that again."

Which is good, but then you get this creeping feeling -- "Oh, this hasn't been to bad. I'm sure I could do it again." Staying quit is the biggest priority though. No excuses or justifications. You'll see me on roll everyday.

Feels good to have a strong backing with KTC doesn't it?! This will help you keep your quit equation strong, and that equation is Brotherhood + Accountability = Success. You get that posting roll is the accountability and you will be doing this everyday. Good job on seeing how important that is. Now go out and build a group of brothers and sisters that you can lean on when times get tough. That is the brotherhood part of the equation. Get to know your fellow quitters and share experiences with each other. It is one of the most overlooked parts of the quitting equation. I have traded many phone numbers and emails with quitters on KTC because my brothers and sisters give a shit on how I am doing, and keep me in check. So go out and trade numbers and email addresses and strengthen your equation.

Keep quittin brother,

Starr

Love to see the lightbulb go off! Welcome man, accountability is the name of the game here. I'm proof positive, 1447 days quit. I'll quit with you all day

tarp

Welcome! Seriously, you made an outstanding decision to dive on in here and you just did what I wish I had done back in February or March. Since you've been lurking, I'm sure you've seen the formula plenty of times before: accountability + brotherhood = success. I can tell you without hesitation that it just flat out works. Just the simple act of posting roll daily has saved me from numerous would-be caves.

Start swapping digits with your quit brothers if you haven't already. There's no shortage of badass quitters here, so start building up that network. I'll shoot you a PM with mine.

Again, welcome and QLF!

[tarpon17]

Thanks MonsterEMT and Southpaw32. Class in a little bit, just posted roll for Day 71. I didn't realize until I spent practically the whole day on KTC yesterday that I needed some accountability. Up until now the way I've stayed quit is by thinking, "well I've made it this far it would be stupid to have to do that again."

Which is good, but then you get this creeping feeling -- "Oh, this hasn't been to bad. I'm sure I could do it again." Staying quit is the biggest priority though. No excuses or justifications. You'll see me on roll everyday.

Feels good to have a strong backing with KTC doesn't it?! This will help you keep your quit equation strong, and that equation is Brotherhood + Accountability = Success. You get that posting roll is the accountability and you will be doing this everyday. Good job on seeing how important that is. Now go out and build a group of brothers and sisters that you can lean on when times get tough. That is the brotherhood part of the equation. Get to know your fellow quitters and share experiences with each other. It is one of the most overlooked parts of the quitting equation. I have traded many phone numbers and emails with quitters on KTC because my brothers and sisters give a shit on how I am doing, and keep me in check. So go out and trade numbers and email addresses and strengthen your equation.

Keep quittin brother,

Starr

Love to see the lightbulb go off! Welcome man, accountability is the name of the game here. I'm proof positive, 1447 days quit. I'll quit with you all day

tarp

[starr_78]

Thanks MonsterEMT and Southpaw32. Class in a little bit, just posted roll for Day 71. I didn't realize until I spent practically the whole day on KTC yesterday that I needed some accountability. Up until now the way I've stayed quit is by thinking, "well I've made it this far it would be stupid to have to do that again."

Which is good, but then you get this creeping feeling -- "Oh, this hasn't been to bad. I'm sure I could do it again." Staying quit is the biggest priority though. No excuses or justifications. You'll see me on roll everyday.

Feels good to have a strong backing with KTC doesn't it?! This will help you keep your quit equation strong, and that equation is Brotherhood + Accountability = Success. You get that posting roll is the accountability and you will be doing this everyday. Good job on seeing how important that is. Now go out and build a group of brothers and sisters that you can lean on when times get tough. That is the brotherhood part of the equation. Get to know your fellow quitters and share experiences with each other. It is one of the most overlooked parts of the quitting equation. I have traded many phone numbers and emails with quitters on KTC because my brothers and sisters give a shit on how I am doing, and keep me in check. So go out and trade numbers and email addresses and strengthen your equation.

Keep quittin brother,

Starr

[canless2014]

Thanks MonsterEMT and Southpaw32. Class in a little bit, just posted roll for Day 71. I didn't realize until I spent practically the whole day on KTC yesterday that I needed some accountability. Up until now the way I've stayed quit is by thinking, "well I've made it this far it would be stupid to have to do that again."

Which is good, but then you get this creeping feeling -- "Oh, this hasn't been to bad. I'm sure I could do it again." Staying quit is the biggest priority though. No excuses or justifications. You'll see me on roll everyday.

[Southpaw32]

Welcome to October man. This won't end at day 100, 100 days won't cure you of your addictions. That's why we post roll everyday it's a promise to ourselves our loved ones and our group that we will stay quit for that day. Then we wake up and do it all over again.

I'm in college too and I was a ninja smoker and full blown dipper. I don't know when your classes start in the morning but make sure you get up and post roll every day before you head to school.

[MonsterMedic]

Glad to have you back with us. Hopefully you'll keep posting roll. I know that it's gotten me through some tough times, as well as getting connected with several guys here that I talk to on a daily basis.

Knowing that if I cave I'll be letting down tons of people, keeps me quit one day at a time.