Author Topic: Day 1- Closet Dipper  (Read 3537 times)

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Offline cpljake2004

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2019, 08:24:44 PM »
Thank you all for reaching out. Day 3 now. Its been a full 36 hours. What is crazy is that I have actually typed Day 4 multiple times on accident. First was this morning at roll call. I woke up every two hours last night. Took a nap today. Already faced my old hiding spot. Had a few instances where I would normally make up an excuse to run to the store. So really, I've already had quite a few wins.  On the Veteran Affairs website I did find a phone number that you can text, where they text you and you can text it, and it will send you some motivation to stay quit. Let me find the site to share.  Here it is:

SmokefreeVET: Need a little encouragement while you’re quitting tobacco or smokeless tobacco? The free SmokefreeVET text message program will provide you with daily advice and support. Or, you can reach out when you feel tempted to use tobacco or stressed about quitting using the words URGE, STRESS, SMOKED, or DIPPED.

Text VET to 47848 or visit veterans.smokefree.gov to sign up.
For messages in Spanish, text VETesp to 47848 or visit smokefree.gov/VETespanol.

Anywho, I'm not going to dip tonight. Happy to stay quit with you all.
I am also quitting drugs and alcohol. I am taking the same approach to these demons that I haven’t kept out of my life, that KTC taught me. If you read my earliest posts you’ll see me speak much of AA. However, at the time I didn’t know shit about the real AA. So my apologies to those of you that heard my shit at the beginning. I thank God for my lessons in humility. So you will see my post my promise, and post how many days clean and sober.

Offline Dawgs

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2019, 03:12:47 PM »
Cpl....your story is exactly my story. Except that I didn’t get the honor to serve due to a back injury, so first off...thank you. I was a closet dipper as well. I lied for years to my wife. Every so often, shed find it. Then I’d lie more. It really did hurt our marriage. We went through counseling as well, for many different reasons, but that was one. I’m 69 days clean now. She is holding hope still that it is real this time. I know that the difference this time is that i actually want to quit. Not for her. Not for our kids. But for me. This site is a Godsend. It makes this process much more doable. Just buy in to it. Use the advice you’ve been given so far. It works. It has saved my ass several times already. You mentioned cancer....that is the risk that we all carry with us. Go to the doctor for a full check up. In a month or so, go to the dentist as well. And then continue to get regular check-up’s. Hang tough brother. It isn’t fun, but it is simple. 
« Last Edit: April 14, 2019, 03:14:19 PM by Dawgs »

Offline SFC_DROSE

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2019, 01:04:54 PM »
I hear you and I've been there several times before. Always thought, what would one more time hurt, always fell back into the old patterns, always felt guilty and tried to hide it. Enough is enough. We're in it together now. If OIF couldn't beat us, sure as hell ain't going to let some rotten plant matter beat us. I may not be a Marine but I've known plenty of my brothers from the Semper Fi team and I know how tough you all are. You got this. Stay quit!
"Those who think that they can and those who think that they can't are both often right."- Henry Ford

Offline latenight71

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2019, 12:57:49 PM »
cpljake2004 -
you're an awesome quitter. you can do this. I'm on day 27 of my quit after 25+ years of 1.5 cans per day. it can and will be done. Reach out if you need support. we're all here to quit with you today.
I didn't get a harumph outta that guy!

Offline Rick Jr

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2019, 12:41:18 PM »
Today is my Day 1. My promise, and my story.  I will not dip today.
Just got out of an intense couples counseling session. I really need to fuckin quit. I'm a closet dipper. 37 years old, first dip was when I was 16 or 17. Off and on since then. Jesus. As a write that... 20 fucking years. Not continuous, but still. Smoked cigarettes too, first one of those when I was 12. The only time I haven't been a closet dipper was in the military. I was a serious drug addict from 16-18 years old.  Was able to quit the hard stuff with the help of AA. So I'm really pumped to find this forum and community.
My wife found another dip can almost a month ago. It's been a rough month. I was able to stop for a few days when she found it, then back at it again harder. Every can is my last can. And they just keep piling up. I'm quitting for me. Because quitting will set me on a very long road of regaining her trust, which will improve all aspects of my daily life. I won't have to worry that I've left behind some remnants of evidence that I've been dipping. Constantly living in fear of getting caught, AND constantly wondering how long I can keep this up before I get cancer.
I've dipped when my gums were bleeding, because I wanted to get that last can in and done and then I would never dip again. Until I did... every time.
I'm done. I'll post every day. I will be honest with my wife. No more dipping, no more sneaking around, no more hiding shit around the house. No more worrying about getting caught. 37 years old. Combat Vet (USMC Iraq 2003), CrossFit coach since 2009, and I'm sneaking around worrying about getting caught. Fucking pathetic. I'm done with it.
I hope I don't already have cancer. I've got a sore on one of my tonsils. I had some weird blood blister thing in between my top and bottom jaw that popped when I tongued it enough. It all is reason to quit. But I didn't. I don't want to die of mouth cancer because I was too weak to just fucking be done with it.
I've read what to expect. Great write up. I love that there is no fluff in here. I guess that's why I'm gushing all this truth right now. I guess if we are going to ride this out together I might as well not be shy. My HOF date will be July 20th.
Thanks in advance for taking a moment to read this.

Thank you For your Service, Thank you for joining KTC! You get it brother, you are ready and you can handle anything the Nic bitch can through out at you. Trust in the System, know it's not going to be easy at the start. We are all addicts, and we get what you are dealing with. If you need anything, PM Myself or some of the guys in the Masters of Mayhem  (May 19) Keep kicking ass Sir!

Offline pky1520

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2019, 07:05:58 AM »
You’ve come to the right place and everything in your post shows that you get it.  That’s a good place to start.  This site has all the tools that you’re going to need to be successful. 

Make posting roll a non-negotiable part of your morning.  Connect with fellow quitters and exchange numbers.  Develop a network of people you can text or call in a tough situation.  Use the site to distract yourself and even dive in and help others.  It’s all here and it will work for you.

This is achievable and it is worth every single bit of the struggle.  Looking forward to seeing your success.

Offline RDB

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Re: Day 1- Closet Dipper
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2019, 11:33:06 PM »
Welcome. Thank you for your service to our country.

You get it.

Nice job posting roll. Make your promise. Keep your promise. It’s that simple. Hard as hell, but simple.

Exchange digits (phone numbers) with a few members of your July group and a few vets too. Mine are a PM away. That way you have some emergency contacts in case you think you might cave.

Get as active here as your schedule will allow. Get to know the guys in your group. You get out of this place what you put in.

Proud to quit with you.

Offline cpljake2004

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Day 1- Closet Dipper
« on: April 12, 2019, 08:34:04 PM »
Today is my Day 1. My promise, and my story.  I will not dip today.
Just got out of an intense couples counseling session. I really need to fuckin quit. I'm a closet dipper. 37 years old, first dip was when I was 16 or 17. Off and on since then. Jesus. As a write that... 20 fucking years. Not continuous, but still. Smoked cigarettes too, first one of those when I was 12. The only time I haven't been a closet dipper was in the military. I was a serious drug addict from 16-18 years old.  Was able to quit the hard stuff with the help of AA. So I'm really pumped to find this forum and community.
My wife found another dip can almost a month ago. It's been a rough month. I was able to stop for a few days when she found it, then back at it again harder. Every can is my last can. And they just keep piling up. I'm quitting for me. Because quitting will set me on a very long road of regaining her trust, which will improve all aspects of my daily life. I won't have to worry that I've left behind some remnants of evidence that I've been dipping. Constantly living in fear of getting caught, AND constantly wondering how long I can keep this up before I get cancer.
I've dipped when my gums were bleeding, because I wanted to get that last can in and done and then I would never dip again. Until I did... every time.
I'm done. I'll post every day. I will be honest with my wife. No more dipping, no more sneaking around, no more hiding shit around the house. No more worrying about getting caught. 37 years old. Combat Vet (USMC Iraq 2003), CrossFit coach since 2009, and I'm sneaking around worrying about getting caught. Fucking pathetic. I'm done with it.
I hope I don't already have cancer. I've got a sore on one of my tonsils. I had some weird blood blister thing in between my top and bottom jaw that popped when I tongued it enough. It all is reason to quit. But I didn't. I don't want to die of mouth cancer because I was too weak to just fucking be done with it.
I've read what to expect. Great write up. I love that there is no fluff in here. I guess that's why I'm gushing all this truth right now. I guess if we are going to ride this out together I might as well not be shy. My HOF date will be July 20th.
Thanks in advance for taking a moment to read this.
I am also quitting drugs and alcohol. I am taking the same approach to these demons that I haven’t kept out of my life, that KTC taught me. If you read my earliest posts you’ll see me speak much of AA. However, at the time I didn’t know shit about the real AA. So my apologies to those of you that heard my shit at the beginning. I thank God for my lessons in humility. So you will see my post my promise, and post how many days clean and sober.