Author Topic: * Sit down nic bitch  (Read 72 times)

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Offline Bigdiesel90

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* Sit down nic bitch
« on: October 05, 2019, 06:45:17 AM »
Hey,
I never really posted much of an intro, so I may ramble on a little bit before I get my points out. I will say this, if you are reading this and are thinking about quitting nicotine join KTC. Everyone thinks they can do it on their own, lol like it’s that easy, stop being a jackass and signup! The very reason that KTC works is the accountability through the brotherhood of people here. It’s amazing and without it I can tell you right now my “quit” would’ve just been another failed attempt without this place.

My story starts no different than a lot of people on this site. I was a Jr. in high school, sitting there on that dugout bench tightening up my cleats getting ready for practice. My buddy came over with a pouch of redman. He said here and held out the redman and a pouch of Big League Chew bubblegum. Mix them together you’ll like it. I said ahh whatever I’ll give it a try, I mean it’s mixed with bubblegum how bad can it be!? If I could go back to that moment I would’ve slapped myself right across the face. After that I was hooked. Who would’ve thought, go to baseball practice, catch a relaxing buzz and play ball, what could be any better.? Well of course you couldn’t always have a huge chewing wad in you’re mouth so I had to get something more concealable, and that is where Copenhagen and I met. I think I had been dipping for about 2-3 years with hiding it from everyone. My girlfriend, my family, my coworkers/classmates. What a dummy I was. After that period of time I just didn’t care who saw me dip. I couldn’t have cared less, I dipped everywhere. In the car, in class(college), at work. I dipped like that for about 9 years, all day everyday I was always looking for that next dip fix.. blah..

My wife and I decided to take a trip this past year to Ireland. It was one of our bucket list destinations that we always wanted to go and the time just seemed to work out so we went. I brought 3 cans of Copenhagen with me on the trip. 3 cans for 10 days that should be enough I probably shouldn’t dip the whole time anyway, because I’m with my wife. I remember before we got to the airport I just felt super nervous, panicky, shaky inside like something is wrong. What was wrong with me!? It’s 5 am why do I feel l like this. I took a dip and that seemed to help, momentarily. We boarded the plane and went wheels up for Ireland. 8 hrs later no dip and we landed finally in Dublin. Man I couldn’t wait to get off the plane and take a dip. But for some reason I felt so unsettled still. I of course showing no fear was like ya honey I’m fine. Even though inside I was pretty unsettled, as went went out in about the town of Dublin. For some reason I still didn’t take a dip. Thought it may help. How naive I was, my body was already going into nic withdrawal from not having any. The most hilarious( not funny at the moment) I thought I was just tired and out of it and needed to get a monster energy. Well let me tell ya driving on the opposite side of the road as my brain is wired on caffeine and no nic made for the most unpleasant stuck in bumper to bumper traffic panic attack I have ever had. I freaked. I thought I was losing my mind. I told myself when I get home I’m done with caffeine, nicotine, or whatever was making me feel like this.

I decided enough was enough. I knew I needed to quit, but why? Why should I quit I’m don’t have any kids yet, I have plenty of time, that’s the bullshit lies addiction feeds your addict brain. Trying to compromise and rationalize the reason you need another one.
June 14th I said to hell with feeling anxious like this. I gave it up cold turkey didn’t know a damn thing about quitting, other than the fact that I wasn’t gonna put that poisonous trash in my mouth again. Boy was I in for a wild ride after that. Intense fog that hit my between day 2-3. My anxiety was through the roof. I started googling about quitting and found KTC. I would go on and read the symptoms page over and over to just let myself know that I wasn’t going insane. I would devour everything the site had to read. I was leery about signing up, how were a bunch of people on the internet gonna help me!? Do they really have the same symptoms I have?? Yes you dummy sign up. So I did. Honestly it’s changed my life being here. I had never experienced anxiety or depression until I tried to give up dipping and without this site and the people I have met  through this site that have helped me tremendously on my quit I would’ve never made it. Quitting was always something I would do tomorrow, but actually doing it is one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. I feel like I’m slowly getting my life back one day at a time. Is it easy? hell no, it’s one of the hardest things to do. But is it worth it? yes of course it is. I am currently only 114 days into my quit and I have so many more days to go. Is the road still rough ahead of me, yes of course.  But everyday it gets easier. No one wants to be a slave to a dead plant in a can. Stop messing around with dip, jump into this website get involved, plug yourself into the conversations and tell people how you feel. That honestly is where the healing begins. Every new thing you do is a new experience without dip. It just takes time.

I would like to thank my Sept 19 quit group, Ruthless, Evilginger, Burger78. And for the vets that have helped me along the way Addictarchitect,Mambo, SRains, Tabrow, docpety, copequits, without all of you guys being there to lift me up and give me a helping hand I Wouldn’t have made it to this point thanks for everything. It’s ODAAT EDD 


« Last Edit: October 11, 2019, 09:04:17 AM by chewie »