The June 2020 Conductors commented on their June 3 post that we are and always will be addicts, at 100 days clean or 10,000 days clean. I can't argue that point. We are what we are.
This morning I heard a musician on the radio talking about his group's song "Sober" and how addiction tears families apart. Can't argue that, either. It does, but what about us?
Our addiction, the addiction to nicotine, is almost an "acceptable" addiction. We know we're addicted to nicotine, either through smoking or dipping or both; our families know we're addicted; our friends know we're addicted (unless, of course, we hid our addiction). Our addiction is sugar-coated, though, being called a "nasty habit." When is the last time you overheard someone whisper about you, "Oh, he's a nicotine addict. Bless his family. I hope he can get some help."
Probably never, right? Our addiction isn't looked at the same way a heroin addiction or alcohol addiction is, and should it be? Our addictions won't land us in jail or rehab like other addictions, so is it as bad? On a flight to Europe last year, I was jonesing for a dip as much as a meth addict would be jonesing for a hit. I couldn't sleep, I could barely sit still, I couldn't focus on shit or enjoy the excitement of going to Europe for the first time, all because I wanted a dip so bad. But, yeah, it's just a nasty habit.
I'll tell you where our addiction will land you...in chemo treatments or in the grave, or both.
My dipping never threatened to tear my family apart; it may have caused a few head shakes and eye rolls at worst. The monetary cost of my "habit" was more of a focus than the possible health cost of my addiction. I'll probably never be called a "recovering nicotine addict," and that's okay. I know I am, and so does my family, and that's enough.
Society may see nicotine abuse (because that's really what it is) as an acceptable addiction, if they call it that at all, but I chose not to accept it anymore. One day at a time, I'm beating my addiction; I'm breaking my habit. Done, bitch. No more.