DAY 188

[chris2alaska]

So I started off using long cut chew 22 years ago, maybe once a day, sometimes twice.  I worked my way to using pouches after about 10 years, two pouches at a time, about the same frequency.  Eventually I was able to work myself down to one pouch.  The last six months I used, I switched over to the synthetic pouches (ZYN, VELO).  Unfortunately no one knew, not even my wife knew I was using this drug, and the synthetic pouches are the worse for this situation because you do not need to spit.  I over did it, and December 30th 2019, I threw the can in the trash and had no preparation of what was to come.  I had no idea this site existed for help at that time.
So about five days later, granted I has no craving for it, no urge to get any and use it, I was proud of myself, and I had no other side effects that is stated here (and never really did even now), until the anxiety hit me one night like a ton of bricks.  I never felt anxiety before in my life, I thought I was having a heart attack.  I have high BP to begin with, probably from the years of chew, never told my doctor either, never had an issue that I was aware of, no teeth/gum issues, throat, etc.  Anyway, I checked my BP with my cuff and I was in the 160/90 range, freaked me out, went for a walk and could not calm down.  After about 3-4 hours I finally was able to relax enough to go to bed.  For the next several weeks I dealt with this, to the point that I had high BP and anxiety for over 25 hours at one shot.  I ended up going to the urgent care, they did an EKG and I was good, but high BP and anxiety.  Got meds for anxiety, they seemed to work. 
Around day 150, I figured out the pattern, I was doing good, feeling good, eating better, exercising.  I thought this was behind me, starting to taper the meds off, still good.  Then, I lifted something I shouldn’t have, and boom got hernia.  So, once I found out that I needed surgery, the anxiety came rushing back, meds are barely managing it, and to top it off before I got the hernia, I quit drinking too, and I was doing good, so I feel I’m getting a double hit.
I’m writing this on day 188 of my quit, 5 days before my surgery, and I know its not major surgery, but I know what I have read here over the past six months has helped me, and I just hope my experience can help someone else.  Don’t give up, I still have no urge to use, actually don’t think about it unless I come here to get inspiration.  I (or you) can’t expect that in 6 months, hell a year or two can undo 22 years of something.
You’ll be ok…I’ll be ok.

Hi @jengkal ,

I appreciate and respect your story and making it 188 days on your own.

The area you posted this (HOF Speeches) is for members who have been posting their promise every day in their respective quit months.  Since this is the first post you have made, it would not go in that section which is why I moved it to the Introductions section.  It will actually get read more in this area anyway.

If you would like to start posting roll with us everyday and get some accountability and brotherhood, then you should go to the March 2020 Maniacal MOFOS of Quit Group and start posting up with them every morning.

Once you have been posting with them for little bit, then feel free to write a Hall of Fame Speech and We would be happy to add it to the Hall.

If you choose to continue on your own, that's fine too.  This place is definitely not for everyone.  I wish you well on your journey.

Chris

[jengkal]

So I started off using long cut chew 22 years ago, maybe once a day, sometimes twice.  I worked my way to using pouches after about 10 years, two pouches at a time, about the same frequency.  Eventually I was able to work myself down to one pouch.  The last six months I used, I switched over to the synthetic pouches (ZYN, VELO).  Unfortunately no one knew, not even my wife knew I was using this drug, and the synthetic pouches are the worse for this situation because you do not need to spit.  I over did it, and December 30th 2019, I threw the can in the trash and had no preparation of what was to come.  I had no idea this site existed for help at that time.
So about five days later, granted I has no craving for it, no urge to get any and use it, I was proud of myself, and I had no other side effects that is stated here (and never really did even now), until the anxiety hit me one night like a ton of bricks.  I never felt anxiety before in my life, I thought I was having a heart attack.  I have high BP to begin with, probably from the years of chew, never told my doctor either, never had an issue that I was aware of, no teeth/gum issues, throat, etc.  Anyway, I checked my BP with my cuff and I was in the 160/90 range, freaked me out, went for a walk and could not calm down.  After about 3-4 hours I finally was able to relax enough to go to bed.  For the next several weeks I dealt with this, to the point that I had high BP and anxiety for over 25 hours at one shot.  I ended up going to the urgent care, they did an EKG and I was good, but high BP and anxiety.  Got meds for anxiety, they seemed to work. 
Around day 150, I figured out the pattern, I was doing good, feeling good, eating better, exercising.  I thought this was behind me, starting to taper the meds off, still good.  Then, I lifted something I shouldn’t have, and boom got hernia.  So, once I found out that I needed surgery, the anxiety came rushing back, meds are barely managing it, and to top it off before I got the hernia, I quit drinking too, and I was doing good, so I feel I’m getting a double hit.
I’m writing this on day 188 of my quit, 5 days before my surgery, and I know its not major surgery, but I know what I have read here over the past six months has helped me, and I just hope my experience can help someone else.  Don’t give up, I still have no urge to use, actually don’t think about it unless I come here to get inspiration.  I (or you) can’t expect that in 6 months, hell a year or two can undo 22 years of something.
You’ll be ok…I’ll be ok.