I write this at 17 days nicotine free. I did not start with an introduction, but now I think I would like to enter something here. For me, it's less of an introduction of myself to you all, but really an introductory "chapter" to my quit. You'll probably get to know a bit about me through this "chapter", but it will probably read like I am talking to myself, because I am. I write this as a reminder to myself, for a time in the future if I begin to forget what life is like now early in my quit, or what life was like before I quit. As shitty as it was and has been, I never want to forget. So here goes, this is why I quit today, and why I quit those 17 days ago, and why I will continue to make that decision everyday.
Greller, you're quitting the use of nicotine because....
1. You care about your health. You are smart enough to know that your health is a sum of the incremental decisions you make on a daily basis. You are also smart enough to know that having one dip will set you on a path for a second dip, then a third, and many more. You made the decision to not have even one more dip, because you know that is the first step in making a good decision for your health on any given day. Otherwise you will enter a damaging positive feedback loop that will destroy your health.
2. You do not want to continue to lie to those around you. You did not actively go around telling people you weren't dipping, but you know that many people who care about you did not know the level you were using. And that feeling sucked, for many reasons. Knowing you're disappointing your loved ones sucks enough on its own. Then add in the fear of maybe someone finding the can you hid under the floor boards of the trunk of your car? Think about the lengths you had to go to try to keep your little love affair with nicotine hidden? you had to stop at the gas station almost every day to throw out spitters, jump out of the car hide everything in the trunk again. Buy more gum, so you can hide the smell of it on your breath? It was a whole show that you had come to accept was part of your day and it was pathetic. You don't want to have to do that anymore.
3. You were wrecking your finances and health at the same time. It doesn't matter how well off you think you are. $180 / month is valuable, use that money to add value to your life rather than take value away. Even more, you can't afford cancer treatments, surgeries, anything. You'd ruin your family's financial well being if you pick up one more can. Save the money instead, spend it on your kids, spend it on your wife, hell even spend it on yourself.
4. Most importantly, you want to be around as long as you can to enjoy time with your wife and watch your kids grow up. Be the best role model for them you can be. You want to be able to hug your wife, son, and daughter when you get home and not have to know you were disappointing them by using a toxic drug all day long while away. Make the decision today, because you want to be 100% sure you'll be able to walk your daughter down the aisle with an intact jaw.
If you're ever having a hard time dealing with the voice of your inner addict, use the resources on this site, and come back and read this post to remind yourself WHY. Why you quit dip in the first place, and why you will continue to quit one day at a time going forward.
