« Reply #1114 on: June 11, 2007, 05:38:00 PM »
Killerattorney - Jim,
If you were ever my friend read ALL of this!
I should have known from the first incident early on in our friendship that something was wrong.
It was then that you went off on me and your friends about them talking to me and seeing photos
of me. Because of that, I pushed you away a bit but then I felt bad. Maybe he was just caught up
in the moment with being a friend and didn't want to see me get hurt. Yes, you have been there
for me through my quit. I am not denying that. The fact is you got too close as I said before. I
needed to step back because I felt like you wanted more that I could give.
You wrote I Love You in one of your letters .. which you said you didn't mean to do. What did
you expect me to do after that. I freaked if you remember. As time went on you wanted more time,
more chat, more phone calls ... I felt like I was letting you down if I couldn't do something you
wanted. I asked you to not contact me because right now at this moment, I can't take this kind of
pressure .. it's just too much!
And even after the I love you incident you pushed .. you pushed and asked if we could maybe
possibly take "our friendship to the next level" and talk intimately. You already knew I was pushing
away from you then so why even freakin' ask me that type of question?
You make me want to never come back to either freakin' site.
I'm not doing anything here that's ohhhh soooo absolutely wonderful so I should just be on my way.
I'm am not sure if you understand but your actions make a reaction .. well this is it! Just STOP! You
said people have come to you and said to forget about me .. that you misjudged me! You said
that maybe I even used you. At first I cried really long and hard about it then I said FUCK IT .. you
fucking do what ever the hell you want to do or think! You are a grown adult. I asked you politely
to stop contacting me yet that first week you called me every fucking day sometimes 3 to 4 times
then you pm'ed me and yahoo msg'ed me to the point that I blocked you. I had at one time up to
17 voicemails saved from you. I got Myspace Tracker and as of 5/22/06 you've visited my profile
62 times. Not even my best friend Jen, who leaves me comments has visited my page that much.
Her visits have totalled 8. Compared to freakin' 62 .. hmm .. and my page hasn't changed any.
So? .. Why look at it so much? You've begged and pleaded to be friends with me to the point that
it's sickening. That you'll do anything to be my friend again. Jim, don't you see friendship isn't like
that? You shouldn't have to beg for it. I'm not worth it ok. I've never been worth it. I don't amount to
anything other than plain ole' ass dogshit. And nobody wants dogshit. So stop it! Just stop all this.
The pm tonight was the last straw. I printed it out and it was 4 fucking pages long!
FOUR! I just don't know how to tell you other than this .. you are overpowering, non trusting self-centered
individual. Tonight in the chatroom you said you didn't know why I left after I came in and saw you.
SEE! It's always about YOU! I didn't leave because of you. It was storming here and the power
went out for about 10 minutes. Please stop doing this to yourself! Don't call me, .. don't pm me,
don't email me, don't look at myspace for me .. I'm NOT going to be there. I simply can't.
You've pushed me to the point that I had to write this to get it out there. Leave Me Alone! Ok?
If I have to I'll change my cell and my home number. I'll leave this site.
I want you to stay quit and I want to stay quit.
now I check and you send me a msg'ed that someone in my group caved and they don't go to QSX .. (so that narrows it down) for me to call you and you'll tell me ... ???? Just tell me Jim .. why do I have to call you .. just fucking tell me ..
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ..
if they said it was alright to tell me like you said .. then why not just tell me .. I am too fucking emotional ,,, I can't take you doing this shit ..
just like this crave you had for a few days .. and my son wasn't doing very well at all .. I didn't call you and you freakin' went off on me basically tellin' me that you weer there for me but I wasn't there for you .. You have other resources I am NOT THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN TALK TO .. but you said .. that I WAS the only person that could get you not to cave. If you CAVE it's not MY fault. Do you see how you come across ...?? why can't you see that? why? I have to go I feel like I am going to be sick .... Just stop it .. pm me whoever caved .. then leave me to FUCK ALONE! ... Pronto!
goo afternoon quitters! A great day to be quit indeed...
I see this popped back up...
Logged
QSXtreme
Quit -1/23/06
HOF -5/02/06 May 2006 Drama Queens
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
A Quit Plan: Do you have one?
CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit.
After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco. SportDad 1/13/05
Warm summer sun, shine kindly here;
Warm southern wind, blow softly here;
Green sod above, lie light, lie light.-
Good-night, dear heart, good-night.
Be silly, be honest, be kind
