Had my last dip yesterday - today has been my quit day.
Haven't done well so far - stopped at the gas station to fill up.
Went inside and got a bottle of water - almost said fuck it and bought a can (what's one more going to do?)
But kept to the steps and will be drinking one more water bottle before I hit the sack.
I work out regularly. Consider myself a fit guy - had a personal record yesterday in the gym - on the 6th set of pull-ups, did 5 reps with 25 lbs attached to my belt. I want to know what it feels like to work out when I don't have tobacco in my system. Haven't felt that since I was a junior in high school.
I'm 25 now and have been dipping for 7 years - the first 3 were a can every 3-5 days - the next 2 years were a can every other day and the last 2 years has been between a can and a can a half a day.
This is going to be the hardest thing I do - but what will keep me strong? ME - this is for me, this is my life. I could die in a car accident or catch some disease, but this is something I can control.
Here is what I want - I want to know what it feels like...
to taste food without having a dip before and after - REAL food
to be 100% hydrated and not have cotton mouth
to work out in the gym with NO trace of tobacco in my system (maybe I could have done 10 rep pull-ups at 35 lbs)
to kiss the love of my life and not wonder whether she can taste the Skoal Mint breath
to wake up in the morning and not smell my own breath in disgust
to have a water bottle at my bedside that is reusable and not a spitter
to be unattached to a circle tin that contains a substance that I've used every day of my life for 7 years with one sole purpose: to shorten my life
to be at a tailgate and not ask for a cigarette because I left my dip can at home
to not get caught with a can of dip I forgot about 2 months ago
to go through my bag and not hear tins bumping against each other
to go hunting with a new call and it not turn brown
to have whiter teeth
to not be scared to go to the dentist and be proud that I have a clean bill of teeth
...to not lie to anyone, especially myself anymore and be dependent on a substance like some junkie
This is the first blog of many and I cannot wait until day +100 when I post my last inspiring everyone to follow suit because the end goal is worth much more than sitting in a doctor's office 20-30 years from now when I'm 50 and being told I have cancer and my kids won't have a father and my wife won't have a husband and my sister won't have a brother.
I am not an egotistical person, but dammit THIS IS MY LIFE AND I CAN CHOOSE TO BE THE MASTER OF MY DIRECTION - I CHOOSE TO QUIT THE DIP BECAUSE I CAN AND I WILL