On January 27th, I attended a tobacco cessation meeting developed by Allen Carr. It was a 6 hour session and I expected to get tips on dealing with my addiction. I was a heavy user of Timberwolf Natural fine cut. It was cheaper than cope, so that is why it was my brand. That is sort of buying cheaper bullets to commit suicide. When I was sitting in this session, I now realized that they wanted me to quit chewing as soon as the session was over. I was not ready for this. I wanted a quit date, like 30 days from now. I needed more time. You know, like my birthday, or New Years or something like that. How many times did I pick a deadline to quit? Too many to count I'm sure of that. I realized that I was tired of lying to myself every day of my life. The time was now. they did give us 6 breaks to smoke or chew. I did not take any of them. I quit right then and there. I chewed this crap for over 30 years. I sent in a coupon out of Rolling Stone magazine for a free can of Happy Days Mint when I was 13. It was quite easy to check that little box stating that I was 18. so simple. Now I was a tough guy. I chewed tobacco. Don't messed with that skinny kid, he chews tobacco! Now, I look back on things and get the the same feeling I had when I found out my wife was cheating on me. How really stupid I felt. I've was duped. Why didn't I see this sooner? I was played. I was the fool. They hooked me and I didn't even fight it. I told myself I liked this stuff. It was my friend. We did everything together. We went everywhere together. I could always count on it to be there. How was I to know my friend was lying to me. He wasn't my friend. He was trying to kill me. a slow painful death. Every day I wake up, and he still wants to be my friend. Every day, I say no thank you. Please leave. I do not need you today. I would like to say it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. However, if I kept chewing, there would be a day that I would sit in a doctor's office and await my fate. I may only have 2 months left on this earth. Try to imagine sitting in an office waiting for the bad news that may be coming. Hopefully I quit chewing in time to prevent this scenario from taking place. Maybe I wasn't ready to quit then and there. But I do know I was not ready to plan my funeral and say goodbye to my family. How stupid do you think i would of felt if that happened. Knowing full well, at age 13, I made a decision to commit suicide. Kind of a young age to make a decision such as that. I never intended at that time to get hopelessly addicted for the next 30 years. I was tricked by US Tobacco. Screw you UST! I am not declaring the war is won, but I'm kicking your ass every day for the last 150 days!
