At 100 days...I'm in. That's it in a nut shell. I choose to live. I wanna be here as long as I can for my family. I'm not going to make a choice that could knowingly end my life prematurely. I love them too much.
I was gonna get on KTC and post my promise and text people if I had any problems or craves. And one day around 17 or 18 BAM, the nic bitch hit me, hard. Like a sweating, pissed, fuck everything hit right in the face while at work. I sent a text message to this guy who had given me his number. Athan to be exact. Me being the "strong" "indepndent" "tough" guy, I would text him and await his reply while driving around in the work truck, circling the kwik shop like a shark about to ambush a full can of cope.
But the next sound I hear isn't my notification of a text, no my damn phone is ringing!!! Athan's calling...I wanna talk via text, but it never occurred to me someone would call my ass. I haven't even texted him but like 2 times? What the hell?!?!
Somehow, some way, my idiotic ass picked up the phone and proceeded to be talked right off that ledge from my brother. Without a doubt I would have caved that day without him, Athan. My world changed, these people in my group changed. All the sudden I wanted to make them all like Athan, real, no more posting roll and staying away until tomorrow. New quitters might need help, hell, some vets or my brothers or sister might need help today. I had to try and help any way I could.
I have brothers and a sister on here that are absolutely amazing. You all know who you are. The admins of our group are a whole different breed of caring, quitting, bad ass dudes!!! I'll forever look up to you guys. The guys who supported me from completely different groups, I can't even begin to thank you enough.
I've reached out and talked to a lot of my group, and I can't name everyone, but April 18 are MY people. I love them. And I'll extend that to anyone, in any group on KTC that wants or needs my support.
This is just a doorway, I have much further to go. But I know I'm not alone. The phone numbers, people, friendships are all going to grow from here. I'm not going anywhere.
