100 Days without Grizzly Long Cut Mint. I still hear those four words ringing in my head. Every morning when I go get my coffee I think back to the days when I was a slave to the can and spent $3.50 every morning for my daily fix.
Back to where it all started when i was the age of 13 or 14. My buddy and I would get older siblings to buy us that good ole Hawkins. Anyone remember that stuff? It was what us kids dipped because it tasted like candy but it was still tobacco. Man We sure thought we were studs! Obviously if I could turn back time I'd kick myself so hard in the nuts I'd spit that chew all over the place! So, Eventually I graduated to Skoal pouches then when that wasn't enough I just switched to the real cope. I distinctly remember my Grandmother seeing my can and her exact words were "oh honey I didn't know you did that stuff. You need to quit, it'll give you cancer". I instantly threw the can in the trash and that was it.......yeah right. I was that "ninja dipper" everyone talks about on KTC. I kept my wad in my back left lower jaw and 9 times out of 10 you'd never even know I had a dip unless you were close enough to smell my skank breath. I dipped at home, at work, in the shower, at the hospital when my kids were born, baseball games, in the car, literally anything and everything I did was associated with dipping.
Fast forward a few years and Somehow in spite of my nasty chewing habit I was able to find a beautiful woman to marry me. Obviously she wanted me to quit but never really busted my balls about it. Tried to quit a couple times for her and failed. Then I tried to quit on my oldest boys birthday and failed. Middle and last child births, yep you guessed it. FAILED!! Tried to quit countless times and always failed.
Almost exactly a year ago we had our third and final baby. About three days after the birth my wife started having some unexpected complications. Turned out because of pregnancy my wife developed a form of heart failure called Peripartum Cardiomyopathy. We spent 4 days in the heart hospital. Some of the darkest days I've ever been through but Guess who was there with me through it all? My ole buddy Grizzly. How pathetic is it that my wife is laying in the hospital and I had a fat dip in nearly the entire damn time? I barely ate a bite the entire time but I made damn sure I had Grizzly. Blame it on the stress of the situation or whatever you want but in my opinion it was selfishness. My entire dipping years were pure selfishness!
The reason for me telling that chapter of my life is to show how much of a hold nicotine had on me. I know I'm not alone when I say this but I was the exact definition of an "addict"! It's really funny but before KTC I never really considered myself an addict but that is exactly what I was and actually still am. It's a daily struggle that I am slowly winning with support from the Good Lord, Wife, Kids, Friends, May Quitters and KTC. I'm so glad my youngest son doesn't have to ask me anymore "Daddy when are you going to quit eating Grizzly?" or "Daddy when are you going to stop spitting in bottles?" Kids see everything Parents do. How could I preach to my kids the dangers of tobacco with a can of Grizzly in my pocket? It was crucial for me to stop immediately and start being the roll model my wife and kids deserve!
In closing I want to say thank you to this site, the people who designed it and the people who maintain it. Also ALL the people in the May Group, you're all Bad To The Bone! I can't possibly list all of you without forgetting someone so I won't even try. It's literally amazing how many lives killthecan.org is changing AND most importantly saving. I was pretty hopeless February 10th (the start of this quit) and on February 11th I googled "things to help you quit chewing" and lo and behold KTC was the first thing that popped up. I began reading stories and HOF speeches and new immediately this was the help I needed. To be able to talk to people who are going through the exact same things you are is invaluable. So if you are reading this contemplating on whether you can or can't quit this time believe me when I say, you can! Sign up, find your appropriate quit group, post roll EDD without fail and I promise your outcome will be a lot different than your usual quits. Godspeed to you all!
