It Is Time

[Bean]

I posted roll this morning. Not sure I did it correctly...Well, actually I was told I didnt. Found a link that shows how to do it. Will try again tomorrow.

Thanks guys

If you're here, you're doing something right. Post roll, keep your word and live free. I used to pick quit dates too...college graduation, first real job, New Years Day, birthdays, wedding, birth of first kid, birth of second kid, etc. I actually would rationalize that it was okay to keep on dipping because I would be quitting soon anyway, right? Holy shit, I was stupid.

But I'm quit now. I was determined to quit for a long time. Stopped many times...then caved. The only thing that is different now is that I found this site. They people on here actually understand controlling addiction through mutual accountability. I posted roll today. I can guaran-fucking-tee you I will not have anything to do with nicotine today. And we're expecting you to do the same. We're counting on you.

I used to cave because I didn't honestly believe that I could quit. I told myself I could. But I always caved. I'm here to tell you that YOU CAN DO THIS. Click around in the Quit Groups...not just your own group, but other months and years. Then think...all of those names are people who have been right where you are right now. And they are living free ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Nobody can do this for you. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. Nobody gets freedom for the asking. WE EARN IT...ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't think about tomorrow, next week, next year. We'll deal with them when they get here. POST ROLL, GIVE YOUR WORD and FIGHT LIKE HELL TO KEEP IT ALL DAY.

YOU GOT THIS!

[BrianG]

I posted roll this morning. Not sure I did it correctly...Well, actually I was told I didnt. Found a link that shows how to do it. Will try again tomorrow.

Thanks guys

[eyehatecope]

Do you need help posting roll?

[KennyZ]

Welcome! Jump on in, the quitting is fine here.

Advice:
Post in your group daily, first thing in the morning. That will take nicotine off the table for the rest of the day.
Swap numbers with your quit brothers. Use the numbers to hold each other accountable.
Get involved and make connections.

I quit with you!

KennyZ
Day 800

[eyehatecope]

Proud to see you in here BrianG.......

Have you posted roll yet?

[BrianG]

It is time. Everything has a time and my time with dipping has come to an end. I have dipped for 35 years+. I messed around with tobacco at a very young age and by the time I was 15 it was an everyday habit. I can remember when a can of skoal fine cut could be bought for 40 cents. If only it was $5+ back then, I would have never started.
It is time. I turned 50 a few weeks back. I dont care about the number as far as age goes, I know I can still hang. I care about the number only as it pertains to my tobacco addiction. It puts the light on a 35 year habit. I said I would never go past 20 years...well, never past 25 years....well 30 years will be time to quit. I have done very little to keep it from becoming 40 years. It is Time.
It is time to keep the promise to my 16 year old daughter that I made many years ago. Daddy will quit for you. She does not know of this at this point, but I will let her know that I finally quit lying to her.
It is time to put the poison down and get on with my life. My wife and I have made plans over the years of how we will live our retirement years. Not fair to her for me to be playing Russian roulette with my life.
It is time

BrianG

[chris2alaska]

2 years ago today I posted my day 1 in April 17 with the Underdogs after using tobacco for
35 years.  The title of Underdog was a good one for me because the odds of me quitting for
good were slim.  It took everything I had to get through that first week.  This quitting
stuff isnt easy.  Finding KTC saved my life as far as I am concerned.  The program here works.
I dove in a drank the kool aid, became active in my group and went out and met other quitters
face to face.  These things are what have gotten me to the 2 year mark.  Compared to the first
100 days, I am doing excellent.  The farther we get away from day 1, the better it is.  I post
this here so that my fellow April quitters will know that it is possible to get control of a
35 year addiction and to live without tobacco.  Get involved, post roll EVERYDAY and try
to meet your fellow quitters face to face.  If you do those things, I have no doubt that you
too will be quit for life.  Thanks for all the support and quit on!!

Proud to share the anniversary date with you BG

chris2alaska 365

[BrianG]

2 years ago today I posted my day 1 in April 17 with the Underdogs after using tobacco for
35 years.  The title of Underdog was a good one for me because the odds of me quitting for
good were slim.  It took everything I had to get through that first week.  This quitting
stuff isnt easy.  Finding KTC saved my life as far as I am concerned.  The program here works.
I dove in a drank the kool aid, became active in my group and went out and met other quitters
face to face.  These things are what have gotten me to the 2 year mark.  Compared to the first
100 days, I am doing excellent.  The farther we get away from day 1, the better it is.  I post
this here so that my fellow April quitters will know that it is possible to get control of a
35 year addiction and to live without tobacco.  Get involved, post roll EVERYDAY and try
to meet your fellow quitters face to face.  If you do those things, I have no doubt that you
too will be quit for life.  Thanks for all the support and quit on!!

[BrianG]

So nealkirby21 posted this on Tuesday.  Here it is Saturday.  Take a guess what happened.  Ya, this guy has not been back since.  This was his one post to KTC.  Look, the addict mind is a terrible thing.  We have all been there.  Making that promise to ourselves and deep down we know we are lying to ourselves.  You have to decide if you want it or not.  I have seen this introduction a 100 times.  Rarely does it work out.  Here are the steps...
1. Sign up
2. Post roll and make your promise not to use nicotine in any form today.
3. Fight like hell to keep your promise for today.
4. Exchange numbers and start building those relationships that will keep you held accountable.
-----------
 
Hey everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Neal and I am 30 years old. I've been using smokeless tobacco for 10 years. I have been reading everything I can on the KTC website and tomorrow will be my first official day without any tobacco.

I am doing this for myself, not for anyone. I am into fitness and own my own company that is fitness related, so tobacco does not fit into my lifestyle. Plus I want to feel healthier overall. I have noticed my gums have pushed back a decent bit.

Financially i want to save the cash and invest it into my future instead of wasting it. I quit about a year ago when I went to Thailand for three weeks, but that was because they did not have tobacco there. I should have just stuck with it and my fiancee was pushing me to, but it wasnt my choice and I was not ready to be honest... I did not want to.

Now I want to and wanted to thank everyone for sharing their stories. I know I am in for a long road, but I am looking forward to discussing everything with you all and getting through this.

Thanks everyone!

[BrianG]

BrianG --

I dipped Skoal Fine Cut Wintergreen for 35 years. It was nothing to go through a can a day for me. Today I posted 477 days quit. First I just want to say everyone should quit right now. Cold turkey, never again for any reason. If everyone would quit, that would be great. Saying that, I am writing this so the older guys will read it. The guy who has been dipping for 20+ years. The guy who really doesnt enjoy it as much, but still does it because quitting is tough.

I am sure you are like I was when I would buy a can(s) of dip. I need to quit this stuff, I am tired of it. What a waste of money. Maybe after these cans are gone, then I will quit. You know that as soon as those can(s) were gone, you were back at the store buying more and making those same promises to yourself. I am here to tell you that it is time. Time to do what we all know is the right thing.

If you have dipped this long, then I know you have had that scare multiple times, you know the one. The one where your heart skips a beat because you think you just discovered you have mouth cancer. A new bump in your lip, white patches on your tongue. Some tickle in your throat that seems to not be getting better. These things used to worry me sick. Am I the only one that would grab the flashlight and head to the bathroom mirror and start looking for cancer? Since I have been quit, I dont think that way anymore. Will my 35 years of abusing myself with tobacco cause me issues in the future? I pray not, but I know that I did the right thing in quitting now. No regrets.

If you had the power to see the future and you knew the next dip was the one that would cause the cancer to start growing, would you take that dip? I think most of us would fight like hell and do whatever it took to keep tobacco out of our mouths. Of course we do not have that power, but we do know that at some point, enough is enough. Us 20+ year guys cant be dancing with the devil and not expect something bad to happen. You can read stories of guys with less time than that developing mouth cancer. When I was dipping, no way could I look at pictures of mouth cancer or even read about it. Since quitting, I have allowed myself to view some of these pictures and read about people going through the treatments. Let me tell you, I ain't going out that way...Hell NO. It is just gruesome to read about. You think it will be easier to quit while you are going through chemo treatments? This is real.

You are on a site that helps people quit using nicotine and reading this, so you must agree that you have had enough. Now you are trying to figure out how to do it. First thing is to know that you do not have to do it alone. Knowing that there were guys and gals here going through the exact same thing I was made this doable. I tried on my own and failed. I came here and went all in. I wanted to quit bad. You have to get yourself to that point and then do what it takes. If a vet tells you to post roll everyday, then you post roll everyday with no questions asked. If a vet says you post early in the morning, then you post early in the morning. This site has worked for many people. It will also let you down if you are not committed to being quit. No magic pills here. You have to quit for you and you have to determine that failing is not an option. When you get to that point and you leave the ego at the door, you too can quit this addiction. You can learn what it feels like to truly be free from nicotine. I have had 477 days of my adult life nicotine free and I wish I was smart enough to quit a long time ago. The freedom is so worth it.

Read everything you can on this site. Get your game plan together. Determine that no matter how bad I feel while quitting, tobacco will never be an option again. I can promise you 2 things if you decide to quit. Promise 1, this will be hard. There will be times that you will question yourself. I say this to you, nobody has ever died from quitting tobacco. You can do it! Promise 2, You will not regret quitting. It took me about 225 days or so to really feel good and not think of tobacco. It may be shorter for you or maybe longer, but when you do reach that point, you will never look back with regret. Hopefully you will reach out like I am doing here and try to help the next guy who is trying to figure out how to quit.

Let today be day 1 of your quit...

[BrianG]

I was always asking those vet guys if it got better.  Some days I thought it just wasnt worth all the work it took to stay quit.  Quitting is hard work.  I stayed quit because to a person, they all said it gets better.  There were days I thought they were full of shit.  My better came around day 225 or so.  I decided that I was not going to blame my quitting of tobacco for everything that went wrong in my life.  Sometimes we just have bad days.  Since then, life has been pretty good dip free.   In my group, we like to rate our quit from 1-10.  1 being I am headed to the store to buy a can and a 10 is dip, what dip?  At 638 days, I am around a 9.  Seldom do I have a crave or an urge to dip.  When I do, it is easily laughed off.  I put the work in early and now I am in maintenance mode.  I post roll and read how the young quitters are doing.  I realize there is no way in hell I am putting myself through a day 1 again.  rkymtnman was just one of those guys who helped me figure all this out.

rkymtnman wrote:
Been thinking a lot about this whole "it gets better" voodoo that we all parrot over and over. I know I didn't really believe it when I was just past the hall and trudging through the motions trying like hell to stay clean and watching my group lose quitters. Always lead me to think - if it is OK for them, why not me?

I remember another thing I did in these types of situations. Go find some "active", crusty old vet - I'd suggest a guy like Hydro because he is quit friggen YODA - shoot him a pm. Ask him questions about what it is like now. Find these 6, 7, 8 year quitters who are still here every day - though not overly active - and ask them. Don't take my word for it. Ask them what it is like. Ask them if it was all worth it. There HAS to be a reason guys like Hydro and others still post roll like it is their job. We are all pretty busy guys with professional lives and work responsibilities, with families and probably have FAR better things to do than troll internet forums for nic addicts. Yet here we all are - in the same boat.

I bet you'll hear the same story over and over. Take it on faith that shit gets so much fucking better you can't possibly imagine. I sure as shit didn't until one day, I realized it had. I challenge you all to keep the focus on TODAY - every day and everything will get worked out in time. Get rid of the thoughts of "by now, I should feel ______" because I can promise you those expectations will lead to let down. Instead, try "Today I will not use nicotine" and go live your life without thinking about where you think you ought to be at this point. You are exactly where you all should be. There is a reason I hate the hall...sure it is a bad ass benchmark but after that, it is just another +1. My worst days were AFTER the hall. My best days were ahead of me - I just didn't believe it.

Keep the faith brothers. You are all killing it - and winning - it just doesn't feel like it most days. I promise that changes.

[BrianG]

Ready --

Afternoon my May Brothers!

Should I stay or should I go now,
If I go there will be trouble,
If I stay it will be double.
So you gotta let me knowwwwwwwwwww!
Should I stay or should I go!

This is my opinion based on my own experiences. Some of you have read most of this before from me and others. This is not directed at anyone in particular but is meant to opine upon a general subject which is in the limelight at this stage of most groups.

I've seen this conversation a few times. It's not unusual. There are varying reasons why it gets brought up. I think one of the reasons is because people want to be cured. I get that. Hell, who doesn't want to be cured of such a horrible addiction. And if I'm being honest, you have every right to feel any dam way you want or need.

You guys showed up and did what needed to be done. You fought the hard fight and through this entire shit show of a battle you did it! You won! TODAY. You quit for today. You posted roll today. You gave your word of honor for today.

Then you hit the HOF! That was the goal. You stuck it out and paid the price and you want a reward! I get that. Some think their reward should be that they can slow down and stop fighting! That's not how it works and deep down most know this. But man you can't help but getting the TGIF feeling, can you. I can't deny it, it feels great when you've put in a hard week at work and it's 4:55PM on Friday afternoon. But come Monday where are you going to be? Yep, back at work.

Freedom. That's your reward. You must admit, it is 1000% worth it or you would not be here. And you also must admit that if you were not here, your chances of being quit are reduced considerably.

In the end, you must decide what your freedom is worth to you. Is that fleeting feeling of thinking you have won so you can simply walk away worth the risk of another five, ten or twenty years of being a slave of a can a day? I can't answer that for you.

It will not always be as difficult as the first 100 days. That is the truth. At some point quitting will be quite easy for you for the most part. Sure, there will be bad days. But they will be fewer and farther apart. But you must keep quitting. And you quit by doing what worked. And what worked was posting roll every day and keeping your word. Doing anything different can and does lead to being a slave.

P.S. Your quit is first and foremost. Period. You can't quit for others, they must do the heavy lifting. That's not to say you can't help where you can, but it's not your fault if someone makes a decision contrary to your beliefs.

NAFAR! Whatever it takes.

[BrianG]

BrianG --

Day 36 Quit.

So, after 36 days on this site, you start to figure a few things out. In no particular order...

1. I need this site. There is no way I make it to day 36 without KTC. I have said that I do not understand it. I do not need to understand it. It just works. I make a promise each day not to use tobacco to a bunch of people I do not know. I have made that same promise to my wife, my kids, family and friends. I have broken that promise every time to them. I have broken that promise so often, my wife just kinda nodded her head when I said I have finally quit this time...I found a website! ya, a website is going to save me... Again, it just works.

2. You will find the best reading material on this site. It is almost like somebody is writing your life story and you found it on the internet. I really thought some of the experiences that I had with dipping were mine alone. Turns out, I am just another tool who thought dipping was cool or I am not alone in being scared that i will get cancer. Some of the writings on this site are just master pieces, capturing exactly what I was trying to express in my own quit. I have literally cried reading some of the post just because of how close to home they have hit. I have a lot of reading still to do, but I encourage everyone to take some time and read. You will find someone that you can relate to.

3. Getting Digits. This one through me a little bit. First few days, I got some PMs giving me their number and asking for mine. I stared at the screen a little bit and thought this cant be a good idea. I just went and looked at the names. Miker0351 was the first and I noticed, that I did not send my number back to him. I will do that after this post. What I have found out is this is everything on this site. Sure, we post roll everyday, but that is the minimum we can do. building the relationships with others is what it is all about. I finally gave my number to Samrs. Best move I ever made. it broke the ice. Sam and i texted some and then he called me. It was not long before I was giving my number out like a lawyer in a hospital. I text somebody on my list everyday. I have had great phone conversations with people. I am still collecting digits as often as I can. It personalizes the promise to not use tobacco today. When i make that promise, I am thinking of Sam and the rest of April.

4. Quitters are going to find a way to quit and cavers are going to find a way to cave (30yrAddict). My group in April currently has around 65 people posting roll. I am one of the youngest quits at 36 days and the oldest has about 55 days. We have lost around 50-60 people since the April group started. A lot of them were gone before I even got to the group. I assume there were a lot of New Year Resolution guys signing up(We have all been there, right?) Now I have no way of knowing for sure who is going to quit and who is going to cave. There will be surprises both ways. What I do know is that there are people that are doing things that make me believe they will not make it. I have read a lot on this site, A LOT. There is a theme to be found. The people that do more than the minimum of posting roll each day have a better shot of not caving. When you see people who have post totals that equal their days quit, then you know that they are not being active in your group. I cant say that these people will cave, but it does go against the theme of this site. I find it hard to believe that anyone who just post roll and makes no other contributions to the group is going to be here after 100 days. You do not have to read a lot to know that this is not a path for success. My point is, I have learned that people who want to quit get involved with their quit.

5. Everyone on this site is not an asshole. Most people would describe me as a nice guy. I said most... I usually give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their intentions. My first few days here, I thought this place was crawling with assholes. I mean that I had to look hard to find a nice guy. Another nice guy and I actually had a back and forth that maybe this site was not for us...Heck, we are nice guys. I thought that I would stick around and see if it got better. Well, it did. I have found that the good guys/gals outnumber the assholes. As I get stronger in my quit, I am starting to realize the ratio is growing each day in favor of the good guys.

Those may be MY top 5 of the things I have learned about my quit and KTC since joining 36 days ago. I am still young in my quit and hope to learn much more from the valuable assets that this site offers.

[BrianG]

I was one of those guys who answered yes early on.  I probably would dip again.  Today, Day 638 free of nicotine,  I see it the same as Greg did.


Greg5280

Would I dip again ?

I have seen this question posted in different areas off and on and it gets me to thinking. Would I ever dip again knowing what I know now?

I have played different scenarios in my head during my quit, and thought would any of these be permissible to allow me to dip again? It is funny to me that I actually spent all this time thinking about this stuff, maybe I need another hobby. Below are some of the things that have passed through my mind on the subject.

1. The terminal illness – This is the one that has to be the easiest to answer right? If I get a terminal illness and was going to die anyway well why not add dipping back to the equation, I mean I am dying anyway so why not?

2. Some terrible tragedy – pick one. Life gives you many to choose from. For me the one that kept playing in my head was something to do with losing my family thus rendering my desire to remain quit or alive a null point. So pack one?

3. The end of the world - If I knew the end of the world was at hand would I run to the store and get a can. This one for me was some nuclear attack from N. Korea or something like that. I knew I had time before the end so why not run to the store and grab a can. Who would it hurt? It would all be over in an hour anyway.

There are others but I think you get the point, so let’s get to the answer. Would I dip again knowing what I know now for any of the reasons listed above, or for any other reason?

Well my answer to that question today is different than it was at the beginning of my quit. I used to think if any of the above happened I would most certainly run to the store and buy a can. What possible difference could it make? I have fought long and hard and if the end was coming why not face it with a fatty? Today I will tell you there is no fucking way I would ever put a dip back in my face. Even if I knew I would die in an hour and could have one I would not do it.

I have learned far too much about tobacco/nicotine and the fuckers that produce/ sell it. How they researched their product and chemically enhanced it to make me/you more dependent on it. How they target our children and hope to hook them too. I have developed a seething hatred for everything their miserable fucking company/product represents.

They have poisoned my family members, me, you, and are looking for more lifelong addicts so they can add to their bottom line. They do not give a shit what their product does to your body or your family. They sell poison on a daily basis to millions and are thinking of creative ways to expand their client base.

Would I ever dip again… FUCK NO !! I will set my money on fire before I give one more cent to those death dealers.

Newbies: Get over the illusion that you miss this shit, or need it,  you do not. You did not like it, it was not fun, it did not help anything. You were addicted to a chemically enhanced super drug. Quit romanticizing it and look at it with open eyes. Develop a hatred for it, the people that make and sell it, and it will make it much easier for you to remain quit.

[BrianG]

ONE TRUTH

One small detail that has made all the difference. I remember dipping and wanting to quit. I mean REALLY wanting to quit. Fear of cancer wanting to quit, pray to God wanting to quit, try anything wanting to quit. Wife crying begging me to quit, kids spitting on the ground to be like Daddy wanting to quit.

I'd feel the desire to quit and remember previous attempts. A day, a week, 6 months. I would laugh at myself because I was so stupid. How could I hate something having so much power over me, get free of it, then forget I hated it, miss it , go back, and restart the cycle.


A promise to myself.
No matter what happened, if I could ever break free again, I would remember how bad I wanted to quit. I lose the fear of addiction from time to time, I tell myself secrets about a dip or a smoke , I forget alot of the struggle to get here, But I clearly remember my promise made in a moment of clarity. If I could want to free myself of something so bad when I had it, then I know that wanting it when I have successfully gained my freedom is addiction and not truth. The simple memory of my desire to stop works on all my lies like a shield.

Hold onto something, your reason for quitting, the emotion behind it. Write it down. There may come a day where you forget your an addict, a day where you think one won't hurt, a day where you believe you can quit again at will. On that day you will need to remember how bad you wished you never tried it, how hard it was to gather the strength to quit, how much you hated the control it had on you, how much you wished , prayed, begged, and pleaded to get quit. If you can tap into that you'll never look back, no matter what your inner addict whispers in your ear.

sm