Glad to be here

[Athan]

The Road Called Recovery

From WildIrish317

Day 65. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm "cured". However, I do know better. I am through withdrawal, and moving down the road they call recovery. The trick now is to stay on this road and not get sidetracked into relapse.

So, I've mastered the Law of Addiction. My addiction is arrested. I'm through the withdrawal, the suck. I'm on the road of recovery. Now what? How do I stay on this road?

The first rule to recovery is: You don't recover from an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use.
If you don't create a new life, the Nic bitch will lure you back into using her.

There are tools to help us create a new life. You can find them at www.addictionsandrecovery.org. I want to discuss them briefly here because they are important.

The three tools are:

1. Avoid high risk situations.
2. Learn to relax.
3. Be honest.

Some common high risk situations are described by the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). You can't always avoid these situations, but learn to recognize them and be on guard for the Nic bitch, because she's watching and waiting.

We used nicotine to relax. We need to find something to replace that. Drugs and alcohol are not your best choice, as these are addictive substances as well. Meditation is a good tool for relaxation. KTC has a good thread on meditation: Meditation Group. (Athan unable to find link to group, lost in transition from tapatalk?  Will update when reestablished here) It has a good beginning, morphs into a roll post, and then has some more tips and tricks at the end. I also tie flies to relax. My mother played the piano to relax. (I used to think she just liked to play. Now I realize she would do it when she was upset.)

The following is a direct quote from linked web page. I can't think of a good way to summarize it, and there are a lot of important points about being honest.

An addiction requires lying. You have to lie about getting your drug, using it, hiding its consequences, and planning your next relapse. An addiction is full of lying. By the time you've developed an addiction, lying comes easily to you. After a while you get so good at lying that you end up lying to yourself. That's why addicts don't know who they are or what they believe in.

The other problem with lying is that you can't like yourself when you lie. You can't look yourself in the mirror. Lying traps you in your addiction. The more you lie, the less you like yourself, which makes you want to escape, which leads to more using and more lying.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Ask yourself this: will more lying, more isolating, and more of the same make you feel better? The expression in AA is - nothing changes if nothing changes. If you don't change your life, then why would this time be any different? You need to create a new life where it's easier to not use.

Recovery requires complete honesty. You must be one-hundred percent completely honest with the people who are your supports: your family, your doctor, your therapist, the people in your 12 step group, and your sponsor. If you can't be completely honest with them, you won't do well in recovery.

When you're completely honest you don't give your addiction room to hide. When you lie you leave the door open to relapse.

One mistake people make in the early stages of recovery is they think that honesty means being honest about other people. They think they should share what's "wrong" with other people. But recovery isn't about fixing other people. It's about fixing yourself. Stick with your own recovery. Focusing on what you don't like about others is easy because it deflects attention from yourself.

Honesty won't come naturally in the beginning. You've spent so much time learning how to lie that telling the truth, no matter how good it is for you, won't feel natural. You'll have to practice telling the truth a few hundred times before it comes a little easier. In the beginning, you'll have to stop yourself as you're telling a story, and say, "now that I think about it, it was more like this..."

Show common sense. Not everybody is your best friend. And not everybody will be glad to know that you have an addiction or that you're doing something about it. There may be some people who you don't want to tell about your recovery. But don't be reluctant to tell the people close to you about your recovery. You should never feel ashamed that you're doing something about your addiction.

[Athan]

From WildIrish317:

The Law of Addiction

...the discussion led to research. The research led to the law of addiction.

The Law is rather simple. It states, “Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles:
(1) that dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction;
(2) that once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and
(3) that once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse.

Once you have mastered the law of addiction, there is absolutely no legitimate excuse to put nicotine into your body in any form. As a nicotine addict, you have permanently altered the way your brain functions. This cannot be undone. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

There is a smoking cessation website named whyquit.com. They have zero tolerance for nicotine. You get one try per lifetime on this site. You have posting privileges as long as you remain nicotine free. If you ingest nicotine, your posting privileges are permanently revoked.

I've given this topic a lot of thought over the past two days. For now, I'm going to leave my comments brief. There is a lot to absorb in this post.

[Athan]

From WildIrish317:

The Three Questions

Now that I've been here 33 days, I've noticed a few more cavers, and my understanding of caving has increased proportionally. (For those of you who are wondering, I'm not preparing my own cave, I'm digging my "quit hole" a bit deeper, and hoping to help some of the cavers understand why the wheels fell off their quit.)

So, after you cave, you come back here, and are presented with the demand to answer the "three questions". Before you do that, you should answer one question for yourself: "Why the fock are you here, knowing how much shite you are going to face for caving?" I can't help you answer this one. You know why you're here, and what you are going to face.

However, knowing that the general gist of your answer is that you need this place in order to quit, I suggest that you take an attitude of humble receptiveness in your re-assimilation into KTC. You are going to give answers to the "three questions". More likely than not, some of your answers will be questioned. Do not take offense at this (even when offense is intended). Most of us addicts can sniff out an addicts lie or misrepresentation, and we will be all over it. So consider the merits of each question. Search yourself for vulnerabilities, and shore them up.

Now that you have "humbled yourself up", here are some reflections that may help you answer the three questions:

1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.

2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.

Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.

So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.

We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.

3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.

We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.

[Athan]

3/23/18
When told the volley of Persian arrows was so great that it blocked out the sun, Dienekes replied, “Good, we can have our fight in the shade!”
Men can utter such things in the face of such incomprehensible odds because they know that they are part of something greater than themselves.
So it is with the quit.
You can chew a whole sleeve tomorrow if it pleases you, but not today.
For today you gave me your word that you would not.
You are now bound to me and to your brothers in quit by your word.
In case no one told you, that’s a very big deal.
What is a man if he has no integrity? Do you not know that your words and deeds live longer than you do? Are you unaware that your successes and failures reverberate into the spheres of those around you?
Take heart then my brothers, for you stand shoulder to shoulder with champions.
Come, join us, let us quit in the shade!

[Athan]

3/19/18
Freedom.
It’s NOT fumbling with anxiety because your running low or out.
It’s a lip and gumline NOT shredded
It’s NOT dodging my wife or children to savor a fatty
It’s NOT waiting in line at the convenience store to get a can
It’s NOT driving across town to get a chew
It’s NOT making excuses to go out so I can stock up
It’s NOT sneaking a dip at work

Freedom IS peace

I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today

[Athan]

3/18/18
“…And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again…”

Get a piece of paper and a pencil. Really, go ahead and get it, I’ll wait.
There’s something profound in the tangible written word. Let’s play a little fill in the blank….

I have been dipping for ______________ years
Post that where you can see it DAILY.

If you join us, you’ll post your quit and how many days you’re quit DAILY.

There’s something profound in the tangible written word….

I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today!

P.S. Time is not on your side

[Athan]

3/17/18
We’ve discussed a few times the excuses for not quitting.
Today I’d like us to explore this from the angle of WHY you put one in.
Note that it’s singular, not plural like excuses.
I know, you’re saying, “geez Athan, there’s a million good reasons. Like how the steak is retroactively better if I throw a chew in after it. Or how I am really in the zone putting in that last 100 feet of fence or splitting that last cord of wood, etc. etc.”
I hear you. I was there not long ago.
What you are experiencing is the addict mind and its association with the many facets of your life that nicotine has attached itself to.
The only reason you put one in is because you are an addict.
I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way.
You weren’t born with a chew in; you enjoyed life before it.
You can enjoy life without it again.
All it takes is a decision.

I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today!

[Athan]

3/16/18
Are you enjoying good health today? Think about that for a second.
In a way, you’re like a fish that’s not cognizant that it’s wet. That’s all it’s ever known.
So it is for us who are born healthy; we tend to take it for granted.
To go on using with full knowledge of the risks involved is to squander the good health you’ve been blessed with.
I tell you the truth, right now this very day, there is someone in your community who would trade places with you in a second simply to have your health.
I’m willing to bet they wouldn’t squander it on tobacco.

I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today.

[Athan]

3/15/18
Good morning, may you find a thousand reasons to quit today!

Is your lip shredded, does it hurt?
Mine doesn’t
Does it stick out like the big lipped dogs of the Serengeti?
Mine doesn’t
You still chasing the empty promise of the can?
I’m not
You planning when the next fix will be?
I’m not
You want to be free from dependency?
I AM.

[Athan]

3/13/18
Comedian Ron White summed up a lot of us when he quipped, “…I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability”
It’s funny because most if not all of us can relate to that directly or indirectly.
It generally conjures up a scene of someone not satisfied with just one foot in their mouth, they’re going for both legs up to the knee.
The gist of it though is the inability of someone who, although they recognize they are on a bad course, is either unwilling or unable to change direction. And that’s not funny. There’s nothing funny about nicotine addiction.
I’ve included some links in my signature from a friend on the site for your reading.
Prepare to have your eyes opened.
I hope you have the ability.

[Athan]

3/12/18
Rawls HOF speech. 100 days in 100 words. One of the most powerful things I've ever read:
100 days. 100 Words.

Prayer
Conscience
Blind
Mislead
Lies
Chains
Spit Cups
Bad Breath
Expensive
Selfish
Stink
Stained
Withdrawals
Shakes
Excuses
Stopping
Failing
Self medicating
Pre Cancer
Decay
Guilty
Procrastination
Exaggeration
Running
Avoiding
Sores
Scared
Tired
Lost
Mirror
Truth
Decision
Flush
Cold Turkey
Scared
Fog
Confused
72 hours
Mental
Anxiety
Out-of-body
Suck
Unfocused
Frustrated
Tears
KTC
Morning Roll
Promise
My Word
Integrity
Bumped Roll
Education
Answers
Addicts
Common Ground
PM's
Strangers
Friends
Quit Groups
FFF
Experience
Wisdom
Venting
Understanding
Confession
Support
Water
Sweat
Knowledge
Nic Bitch
Pissed off
Dreams
Mods
100%
Success
EDD
Relationships
Craves
Triggers
Digits
Chat
Accountability
Introductions
Newbies
Supporting
Healthy
Clear
Prepared
Brotherhood
Respect
Paying it Forward
Smiles
Trust
New identity
Thankful
Humbled
Blessed
Quit
ODAAT
Free
Answered Prayer

[Athan]

3/12/18
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/linksaaddiction.html

I think a lot of people fail because they don't understand what, exactly, they are dealing with.
I know I didn't. I hope you take time to read this. It explains just how sinister the addiction is.

[Athan]

3/12/18
The addict mind.
It can and will rationalize ANYTHING.
ANY reason to justify the next fix is valid to the addict mind.
The addict mind runs on auto pilot UNTIL is is refused that fix.

You need to make a decision.
Do you want to quit for a couple of days.....or would you rather nicotine no longer played a role in your life?
Your life.
Your call.

[Athan]

3/11/18
Hello Time Traveler!
How would you like to go back just 5 years from now and start your quit. Imagine that. Looking back 5 years and having the satisfaction of having beaten it, of having successfully putting it down and doing some serious and advantageous changes for your health. Think of all the money you would have saved. We’ve covered all the stupid things you do in recent posts, well you could look back on the previous 5 years with a solemn pride that you are a free man. Wouldn’t that be amazing?! Cause I can do that for you. Really.
Flash forward with me 5 years and look back on yourself today, right now, reading this, and decide to quit.
BOOM.
There ya go. Just gave your future self 5 years of freedom to look back on!
Nice traveling with you, please check the seat back pocket in front of you and watch yer head as you exit.
As always, thanks for travelling with KTC!

[Athan]

3/10/18
Wake up calls.
You ever put one in at a hotel?
Maybe with your spouse or roommate?
Not sure if you’d get up on time for whatever reason and needed the extra kick in the pants to wake up.
Ran across a brother who needs gum grafts.
That’s gotta be some kinda wake up call.
For me it was waiting for the results of a biopsy after an endoscopy; that was one intense wake up call.
What about you? Can you wake up on your own?
Or are you waiting for the wake up call?

TIME IS NOT ON YOUR SIDE