Glad to be here

[69franx]

Jury duty. As I sit here waiting for the proceedings to begin, I’m starkly aware that I’m not gutting it behind my mask wondering when we get a break so I can replace my wad. That’s exactly what I’d be doing if I hadn’t said ENOUGH! 1,212 days ago. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

I won! They picked me! I’ve been awarded six months Grand Jury Duty!

double congrats!!

Think I got a notice recently, it's lost in the pile of paperwork on my desk. Hope I wasn't supposed to be there this week

[Keith0617]

Jury duty. As I sit here waiting for the proceedings to begin, I’m starkly aware that I’m not gutting it behind my mask wondering when we get a break so I can replace my wad. That’s exactly what I’d be doing if I hadn’t said ENOUGH! 1,212 days ago. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

I won! They picked me! I’ve been awarded six months Grand Jury Duty!

double congrats!!

[Athan]

Jury duty. As I sit here waiting for the proceedings to begin, I’m starkly aware that I’m not gutting it behind my mask wondering when we get a break so I can replace my wad. That’s exactly what I’d be doing if I hadn’t said ENOUGH! 1,212 days ago. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

I won! They picked me! I’ve been awarded six months Grand Jury Duty!

[Athan]

Jury duty. As I sit here waiting for the proceedings to begin, I’m starkly aware that I’m not gutting it behind my mask wondering when we get a break so I can replace my wad. That’s exactly what I’d be doing if I hadn’t said ENOUGH! 1,212 days ago. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

[69franx]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

My daughter is a brilliant kid.
Killed it in high school.
Killing it her first year in college.

She suuuuuucks as a driver for ALL the reasons you gave and then... some specific to her.

<dad shakes head and buckles up>

The biggest issue with our 17 year old who has had a license for 8 months is the unbelievable amount and level of attitude. She generally drives too fast, distracted, with the radio too loud. But what the hell do I know, I've only been driving for 36 years. Things are probably different now, right? Luckily she has a nearly straight shot to school with only a couple turns and 10 miles on one road and a 5 minute drive to work. Good luck @Athan

Hold your breath for a year or so. Rest easy, it does get better.

Omg.

The “know it all” 

Right now, she's still very afraid - there's hope!

Afraid is good, it should keep her cautious

[Athan]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

My daughter is a brilliant kid.
Killed it in high school.
Killing it her first year in college.

She suuuuuucks as a driver for ALL the reasons you gave and then... some specific to her.

<dad shakes head and buckles up>

The biggest issue with our 17 year old who has had a license for 8 months is the unbelievable amount and level of attitude. She generally drives too fast, distracted, with the radio too loud. But what the hell do I know, I've only been driving for 36 years. Things are probably different now, right? Luckily she has a nearly straight shot to school with only a couple turns and 10 miles on one road and a 5 minute drive to work. Good luck @Athan

Hold your breath for a year or so. Rest easy, it does get better.

Omg.

The “know it all” 

Right now, she's still very afraid - there's hope!

[AppleJack]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

My daughter is a brilliant kid.
Killed it in high school.
Killing it her first year in college.

She suuuuuucks as a driver for ALL the reasons you gave and then... some specific to her.

<dad shakes head and buckles up>

The biggest issue with our 17 year old who has had a license for 8 months is the unbelievable amount and level of attitude. She generally drives too fast, distracted, with the radio too loud. But what the hell do I know, I've only been driving for 36 years. Things are probably different now, right? Luckily she has a nearly straight shot to school with only a couple turns and 10 miles on one road and a 5 minute drive to work. Good luck @Athan

Hold your breath for a year or so. Rest easy, it does get better.

Omg.

The “know it all” 

[Keith0617]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

My daughter is a brilliant kid.
Killed it in high school.
Killing it her first year in college.

She suuuuuucks as a driver for ALL the reasons you gave and then... some specific to her.

<dad shakes head and buckles up>

The biggest issue with our 17 year old who has had a license for 8 months is the unbelievable amount and level of attitude. She generally drives too fast, distracted, with the radio too loud. But what the hell do I know, I've only been driving for 36 years. Things are probably different now, right? Luckily she has a nearly straight shot to school with only a couple turns and 10 miles on one road and a 5 minute drive to work. Good luck @Athan

Hold your breath for a year or so. Rest easy, it does get better.

[69franx]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

My daughter is a brilliant kid.
Killed it in high school.
Killing it her first year in college.

She suuuuuucks as a driver for ALL the reasons you gave and then... some specific to her.

<dad shakes head and buckles up>

The biggest issue with our 17 year old who has had a license for 8 months is the unbelievable amount and level of attitude. She generally drives too fast, distracted, with the radio too loud. But what the hell do I know, I've only been driving for 36 years. Things are probably different now, right? Luckily she has a nearly straight shot to school with only a couple turns and 10 miles on one road and a 5 minute drive to work. Good luck @Athan

[AppleJack]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

My daughter is a brilliant kid.
Killed it in high school.
Killing it her first year in college.

She suuuuuucks as a driver for ALL the reasons you gave and then... some specific to her.

<dad shakes head and buckles up>

[Athan]

My baby turned 16 recently so I bought her a car. Now we’re learning how to drive. The first two (her sisters) were easy. Seemed like a non-issue really; like they were born behind the wheel. Not so for the baby. It started when I told her to get in it and drive up to the house to pick me up. I watched as the car backed down the driveway into the rose bushes. She came in a few minutes later and said the car won’t go forward, it’s stuck in reverse. Well, it turns out that if you don’t start the vehicle the engine isn’t very responsive. And who knew there was so much muscle coordination executing a left turn? And when you get right down to it, driving lanes really should be wider shouldn’t they? I mean, what would be wrong with eight feet of margin on each side of the vehicle? And do they really have to plant mailboxes that close to the road? Right now I’m wondering if Uber has an annual membership. It’s not that big a deal to not get a driver license right? I mean, there’s folks what live in the big city and use mass transit their whole lives. The real deal was when the idiot on the highway in front of us came to a complete stop and decided to make a right turn. Guess they never heard of turn signals or a shoulder? She did very well. Missed ‘em by inches. "Just One" came knocking hard. Thundering really. Like my heart beat. Had I not posted a promise earlier today, I would have directed her to the nearest C-store after that one. If any excuse will do - having your life flash before your eyes is a winner. Not now, not today, not for any reason.

[Athan]

A sure to be timeless quote from @chris2alaska:

“Addiction: Giving up everything for one thing.

Recovery: Giving up one thing for everything.”

[69franx]

Hey 'JUST ONE"
You can KISS MY ASS!
 

Hell yeah!!!

[Athan]

Hey 'JUST ONE"
You can KISS MY ASS!
 

[Athan]

I’m on the road early this morning, two cups of coffee and out the door. In a rush so I didn’t take the time to wait on the morning package.  But it arrived just the same. Only I’m on the highway when it starts rap tap tapping on my back door. I spy a shopping center and exit the highway and dash on in to make a deposit. What is it with the toilet paper dispensers being under the monkey bars and 2” off the floor? Is that supposed to make it easier for the dude that’s already in the wheelchair? Whatever. I lean forward to grab some of the recycled newspaper third world product when that technological marvel of auto flush kicks in, bathing me in my own effluvia. It wouldn’t have been so bad if there was enough complementary sandpaper to finish the job, but as luck would have it, there wasn’t. I adapt and overcome only I’m now down to one sock. I make my way over to the wash station and it’s one of these infrared soap water dispenser things only not nearly as sensitive as the auto flush feature. This is compounded by the fact that there’s only 4” clearance (same guys who mounted the toilet paper dispenser?) between the intermittent water emission and the bottom of the community basin. Not an ideal situation but hey, at least I’m wearing a paper surgical mask, right?
I’ve lost all interest in the box of munchkins I’ve got  waiting in the car. I’m not even remotely interested in anything finger lickin good. Which is odd because if I was still chewing I’d have popped a lipper without a second thought just like a plumber eating a sandwich. Not now. Not today. Not for any reason.