WARNING: What you're about to read is very long and is basically the ramblings of a tired young old man who happens to be celebrating his 50th day of quit. Don't complain if you think this was too long, because I've warned you. Carry on now.
So as I sit here, I am contemplating whether I should write out everything that I've been think all day. I don't really brag, but I do have a knack for metaphors. I had some good ones today run through my head and I have decided not to post them.
Why?
It's simple really... I need a good HoF speech. I was thinking about everything today with me hitting 50 days and what not, and it hit me that I don't need to use up all of my best material. In my eyes, my HoF speech should be more influential and more effective that what I put in my introduction about 50 days. It doesn't seem right to link on my signature "My half-HoF speech" now does it?
So in lieu of that, I just want to say how great this website has been. KTC really is the best thing since sliced bread. Shoot, there are some quitters on here who are older than sliced bread (I'm looking at you Pab). The vets with thousands of quit days aren't really the ones that keep me going, it's the older guys on here with decades of life already underneath their belt willing and ready to offer life advice to such a young one as I. To me, you can't have a successful quit if you aren't able to straighten out your own life as well, and because of that, I appreciate all of the wisdom on here every time I post my roll.
I really hate this part, because I find it extremely odd that opinions like what I'm about to say can be had of a quitter with so few days, but I appreciate all of the compliments that are being thrown my way.
I mean, honestly... Am I really that good?
I mean... I don't know what to say to some of the things people say to me on here.
I mean (and I know I keep saying that)..... One guy sent me "You are a bit of a God send."
How am I supposed to take that?? Am I supposed to just say "Well thanks man!" But even if I say that, what am I supposed to do with it? Some people are treating me like I'm the next Michael Jordan or something and they wish I could come straight out of high school instead of having to go to college.
I simply don't know how to handle it...
My whole life... I've been that guy in the corner at parties just observing the crowd. I can't just walk up to people and talk to them. i can get up and speak to a crowd, but good luck trying to get me to talk to anyone before or after. I have never been exceptionally good at anything except coming up with answers to things that I don't know anything about off the top of my head. I've always been quiet. I've always been reserved. I've always been average at best. I'm socially awkward, I don't think before speaking sometimes, and I just kind of go with what life gives me.
So... This? All of this praise and stuff? Here? Letting me speak my mind and stuff? Letting me be, I don't know... Me? Maybe this has been me all along. Maybe KTC is the thing that showed me what I really could be. To nerd out a bit, Nicotine killed Krillin on planet KTC and I'm going Super Saiyan right now.
Another thing is that my group, July Jackals (2015), kind of had some sort of standing ovation for me... Obviously it wasn't all of them, but they didn't do that for anyone else when they hit 50... It was odd because I am just being me on here and in my group... I don't know why, but somehow I'm helping people... Somehow whatever it is that I'm doing... It's working. That's one of the weirdest feeling for me... That I'm doing something worthwhile...
I'm not used to this... This being looked up to and praised thing... So I apologize ahead of time if I don't take your compliments in the right way. The fact of the matter is that I don't know how to do it the right way.
In all honesty, I doubt I ever will be used to it. I could become the most recognized admin here, and I still wouldn't be used to it.
I mean... Wow...
It's... Just... Wow...
This is all still blowing my mind... The fact that I have the ability to help someone is almost beyond my comprehension...
Anyways... Thank you all. I just kind of spilled it all I guess right there. Don't worry, my HoF speech won't be so melodramatic or whatever that crap was.
If you're still here and reading this, really... Thank you... Thank you so so much. I couldn't be here without you. Even if we've never talked, I will hopefully talk to you soon. Just the fact that you reading this could influence you into joining helps my quit so much. You could be sitting on the fence thinking "Do I really wanna quit dipping? Am I really that addicted to it?" My answer is yes. I implore you, future stranger that may or may not read this in the year 2037, to quit. Look at me. Well, you can't see me... Unless by 2037 you can... Look at what I'm typing. I am saying that if you quit because of any one thing that I've said on KTC, then you've made this entire quit worth it. If I can reach at least one person, then I know that I've made a difference for the better, even if it is just one person.
No. Screw you. I can't finish that thought. I've had a tiresome and rainy day and I'm liable to cry if I get into that nonsense.
I typed the above paragraph and changed my mind. I don't even care how long this is at this point. Plus, I'm not deleting it because I've been typing in almost a stream of conscious way so far anyways. Why stop it? -PS- If you're wondering where I gave up the first time, the last thing I said was "... into joining helps my quit so much."
I bet you thought that I would be done by now. Well, you're pretty much right. I think I've spilled everything out that I've needed to today.
Again, I thank you. Hope you're ready for a freaking awesome HoF speech, because as you can tell, I have a lot to say.
