10:22 AM - Apr 15, 2014 #224
365 days ago I set out on a journey, I said good bye to my mistress "NICOTINE" after 30 years of addiction. I have been clean for one trip around the sun! This is a very proud moment for me/us. Yes I say us I have looked over my thread for the last year and as I type this I am glad my office is locked because I have tears. The tears are of happiness and regret, happiness because in this fight I am winning regret and sadness are because I can’t believe that I am in this fight to begin with. Can’t look back though I just have to keep my ears pinned down and march forward. I could not have done this alone proven by history of stops and starts. There has to be a change in mindset that has to occur as we QUIT only once. Those of you that know me know that this year has been challenging for me but through the support of my wife and all of you on this site I have been able to keep quit I would like to say thank you to each and every one of you.
I heard an analogy this morning from a wise man of quit known as Apple Jack this defines the feeling of the journey thus far “Seems like just yesterday and forever ago all at the same time.”
Last night I had a dip dream she came for in my sleep again. I dreamt that I tossed it all away on day 364. The difference this time is that I didn’t wake up shaking and freaked out ‘cause I knew that there was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IN HELL that this was real. I am glad she came for me last night she can come for me whenever she feels like it, I know I will kick her ass. I am also glad she came so that I have a constant reminder “Complacency sucks, one moment of it is the difference between being a user and a quitter....OIB”
Thank you all!
Trauma 365 out!
