Hi everyone. My name is Jeremy Forrest and I am addicted to nicotine. It started when I was 16 years old. I am 34 now. I still remember my first cigarette. It seems like a very long time ago. I quit smoking 3 years ago when my employer gave a discount to non-smokers, and banned smoking on campus. Needless to say I didn't quit nicotine. I tried E-Cigarettes, and they worked great. I soon after quit the e-cigs and it was so much easier than quitting cigarettes. I went into remission about 2.5 years ago, it started with e-cigs, and then I got scared because they were leaving green residue in the chamber. Which I thought was battery acid residue. So I switched over to dip, because my lungs couldn't handle it.
It is safe to say now I am pretty addicted to dip. Grizzy Wintergreen pouches to be exact. I "double dip", 2 at once because one is just so small. I go through approx 0.5-1 can per day. When I can't dip I chew nicotine gum. Which is normally 3 days a week at work while doing 12 hour shifts. I have completely hidden my addiction from everyone I know. I never told my parents or brothers I started dipping after quitting smoking. I never told my girlfriend either. I have no plans on telling anyone at this time. I feel like I need to do this on my own with support from others who have been through this. This is soething I need to do for myself and I just need to hear the things I experience the next few weeks are normal.
I have been slowly tapering down to a dip in the morning, and 4 X 2mg pieces of nicotine gum at work, and 2 dips after work. I finished my final exams at school Tuesday, and worked 11 to 11pm yesterday and today. Tomorrow is my first day off, and I am so done with dipping. I ordered a weight bench to keep me busy, and plan on smashing water all day. I am so sick of feeling new things in my mouth and worrying I have cancer. In a way it infuriates me that I have let things get to this point.
Tonight is the night I take my last dip, and throw away my can for good. And tomorrow morning is the first day I go as long as humanly possible before putting in a piece of nicotine gum. I plan on waking up everyday and going longer everyday without a piece of gum until I can power through a day without it. My ultimate nicotine free day is one week from my taper off date.
In a way i feel fortunate even though dip is more addictive that I am coming off dip rather than cigarettes. I have only been a dipper for a few years and do not feel a strong metal connection with it like I do with smoking. I don't ever see myself after quitting thinking about a dip. I will be thinking about a cigarette. But I do know it is very tough to quit. The withdraw is brutal. I get the worst sinus headache, trouble walking, nausea, and hot flashes. I never experienced hot flashes quitting smoking, and this is the main reason I decided to taper off instead of cold turkey. That and because there is never a good time to quit where I have a bunch of days off work in a row to be miserable.
Anyway, this turned into a short novel. It's time to stop talking the talk, and walk the walk while I can.
