Welcome Back Rocky........you have answered the questions to some degree. But lets get a plan in place for that time which will come when you really want a turd. What is your plan for that.....2am in the morning, slight buzz, feeling good, feeling invincible....wth I can have one. What is your plan for that day. Maybe something like calling 3-4 quit brothers and asking for permission. Then taking your nuts and slamming the refrigerator door on them 3 times. Something, but have a plan and get some digits from your October brothers.