Hey all,
Formerly a 13 year, 1 - 1.5 can/day dipper of Grizzly Straight Long Cut. Today is my second full day without nicotine and what a nightmare it is. I envy all of you who seem to be psyched about finally kicking the habit, but I have to be honest, I am not psyched at all about it. I know that it isn't the way it is supposed to be done, but I my motivations for quitting are not for my own benefit (though I know it is to my benefit) , I am quitting because I've gotten a chance for an interview at a very reputable hospital and it is against their hiring policy to hire people who use nicotine. This job would be huge for my wife and daughter, but even still I am so addicted, I would really rather have my dip right now. I am so addicted to dip that despite being in a situation where I am a veteran as well as a college graduate working in a dead-end almost minimum wage job (due to the fact that I have had terrible luck finding good work after graduating 3 months ago and simply had to take something), I would still rather have my lousy dip and forget about that potentially great job and everything that comes with it. I just don't know how to get over this, I really don't. In my head I can't help but thinking things like "what's the point in having a cup of coffee? I can't even enjoy it without my dip." "What's the point of even owning a game console, how can I play video games without a dip?" etc. These are the things that keep going on in my head. I haven't really eaten much the past couple days because I know how bad it will suck not to have a dip after my meal. I'm feeling so miserable from the withdrawals, that I can't even enjoy spending time with my 11 month old daughter, really freaking sad. I play with her and put on a nice face but it's all phony, I'm miserable inside and I'd rather just have my damn dip and enjoy things again. I really hope I don't go back to dip after the whole job thing is over I know that would be so stupid, I want to be free of it forever, hopefully I'll start feeling better and more confident after a few days. Well I guess that's it for now, Ill get on and post some more stuff later, sorry for the whining but I've really got no one else to whine to, certainly no one that understands what I'm feeling.
Max