Yes...........
Nah if wifey wasn't such a square I'd be in the joint, rehab, community service or in the electric chair
You and I must be bruthas from a different mutha. My ball chain has straightened my shit out quit a bit over the past 6-7 years
Damn, brother... Didn't even have to read from page one, and already I have something to sympathize with. I'd never think of her as a ball and chain... Hell, wedding is in February, so... Not even my wife yet, but... Dammit, before I met her I drank like a fish on the weekends (sensibly, like an adult, on any weekday. Weekends were when I became a fucktard) smoked pot every night, drove down the highway at 90 some miles per hour in my rusty old (yet still amazing, lifesaving, incredibly reliable) beater.
Hell, if not for her, my door would probably be getting kicked in by the DEA as I typed this, because I'd probably be a god damned drug dealer.
I was an asshole before I met her, and I guess she just spun my head around so hard when I first locked eyes with her that it finally wound up screwed on straight.
Loved the story about the plane...
Not a week before I started my quit, I heard my mother yell my full given name... I felt the pissed-mist coming all the way up the stairs... She told me "YOU FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FUCKING SPIT IN!" She'd found a Mt. Dew can with some "pop" still left in it... Of course, I parked my spent dip in the can... So, brown spit that had started to mold, and a fat wad of spent dip... Skoal Peach. Smelled like a whorehouse full of decomposing zombie hookers. She was piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed.
How bad is it to find a god damned skoal fragment when you're washing dishes? ...and another, and another, and another... then have to clean the entire sink and rewash said dishes... Sucks.
Then there's the one time I coated my monitor with dip chunks... Still Skoal. Can of straight. I had some Cope snuff around... Decided "Y'know, I've heard of people using this like dry snuff, and it's lost some of its moisture." So, I took a little tiny pinch up the nose. God damn bloody fire in hell did that hurt... It felt like the day I did a 30 mg line of methylphenidate back when I was enough of a dipshit to snort pills... I had a fat dip of Skoal in, too. Sneezed and almost permanently turned my monitor brown... Spat out all manner of obscenities as I cleaned it up, and recleaned it, since my newly placed replacement dip was flying out of my mouth as I sputtered and swore.
God, I hated myself that day. Hmmm... I only have one trophy can that I want to keep. Y'know what five or six empty Skoal cans are good for? They're kind of hard to hit at 30 yards with a pellet gun. I know I'm dialed in when I can bull's-eye the "S"
Keep it up, brother.
Wow, long and rambling post. Yes, I'm in the middle of a quit alright.
Fuck... I just keep typing...
Fucking ADD...
