So here's an open question for any admin, any mod, or any member who wants to answer....
Is it okay for guys with serious days quit to just post when they feel like it or is the expectation that they post EDD, like those of us struggling to break the chains and haven't yet hit HOF?
I am not trying to stir up any "shit" or anything else. I believe this is a legit question. Do the "rules" of the site allow leniency for longer term quitters? I was led to believe that the foundation of this site is posting roll. If that's the case, would seem to me that it would apply to ALL active members, regardless of "seniority" in terms of # of quit days.
Would appreciate a straightforward answer here. Thanks.
Just going to offer you the first thoughts that pop into my head.
At Day 177, I need to post daily. I have a group of fellow June members who I text daily. At this point in my quit, I need to post DAILY. I can't say where I'll be come tomorrow, next week, or next month. Offer help and support to those who need, and want it. Admins and mods provide a special role to this place. They do shit that you and I never see. They volunteer their time to keep this place running. This place, I call it my quit sanctuary, provides you and I with a place to quit and succeed. If a mod or admin skips a day, big deal in my book. I didn't post July 3rd - July 6th. Yet my name was on roll, EDD. I text my quit into my quit buddies while on vacation. There are many facets of this site. Don't take everything at face value. I love your passion and no nonsense approach, but there are bigger battles to be fought. Take your passion for this topic, and apply it to "adopting" and new quitter. Teach him/her the ropes of this place and how to quit.
With you brother, bigger fish to fry though...
I cannot answer for anyone else... but I can answer for me. 30yrAddict, the quitter. (as opposed to the mod)
33 years I used nicotine. I would guess about 25 of those were spent trying to get free of this nasty addiction. When I arrived here I was desperate to be quit, wanted to be quit... but had no idea how to go about it. Luckily the folks here at KTC knew all about it. Skoal Monster was one of those. Remshot was another, Scowick was one of those. Gmann was another, and Frazzled, J2B. and so on. countless others. Some of these others no longer post roll regularly, but I am still grateful for the life that they gave this place so that I can be here today posting this 1283 days quit. For me to reject their contributions because they no longer post roll everyday would speak very poorly of my character.
Did I NEED to post roll today? At this point in my quit I would say I probably didn't NEED to. Damn sure I would not have caved today if I didn't post roll. My quit is as strong as it has ever been. If I skipped a week would I cave?... again 100 percent sure that answer would be no. ditto for a month. But a year? 1000 days, 5000 days? For me the answer becomes a bit less certain... even if the chances were 2% that I would cave in that time, that is still to great. I fought way to long and hard to get here... 36.5 years to be exact. I danced with the devil long enough to have a healthy respect of how tenacious this addiction is. Posting roll is a way of reminding myself from whence I came... to realize that I am not infallible, to daily become humble in the face of my addiction.
The other big part of posting roll at this stage in the game is the brotherhood I have been blessed to be a part of here. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if I was missing on roll call the object of my fellow brothers in May 2011 would not be to call me out in public, or hold me up to embarrassment and public humiliation... First and foremost on their minds would be to check in and make sure that everything is ok. I am sure I would get several texts,pm's,emails and phone calls out of genuine concern. I am sure a few of them would cross the country to be at my door if I needed. That kind of brotherhood can't be found on a spreadsheet.
Finally to answer your question: I can't tell you who needs to post every day here. The idealistic answer is everybody, and indeed I would like to see that as it would be my advice to everyone.. but to be fair I don't speak from the perspective of someone with 3000 days quit. I don't look through the world through the eyes of any other quitter here. I look at quit through my eyes. I can tell you that at day 1283 I am on roll call and that promise is non-negotiable. Bet against day 1283 and you will lose. I guarantee it. As for day 1284, if God blesses me with another day on this earth I plan to be here as well, and I would encourage you not to bet against that one either.
Awesome answer 30year. I think my approach of shaming those who miss roll might be extreme. It just gets so frustrating dealing with the same half ass quitters. Gonna modify my approach. Thank you again for your well thought out and honest answer.
I'll be your huckleberry as well since I seem to be a favorite of yours CM :)
For the most part, I echo 30's words, but also want to be a good example for everyone on site. For a long, long time, I HAD to post roll. My conscience, my sanity, and my quit depended on it. For me, as I approach 4 yrs next month, I've seen a total evolution of my quit. The foundation is still roll and it takes at a very minimum of 100 days to drill that into a new quitters head. Look how many people leave at 101, they are magically cured. They all of a sudden "got it". I didn't. I posted daily for a very long time and still believe that it is the way to quit and stay quit. My roll here is to help anyone who needs it, my phone is full of quitters, and also full of cavers. I haven't deleted a single name that I've entered and there are many that aren't here any more. I reach out to them occasionally, with the usual response of silence. But sometimes I get an answer. Whether or not that person is quit or using, I'm keeping the fire alive, hopefully planting the accountability seed back in their head. And reassuring me that my quit is all that it can be.
I'm sure many of you guys have felt it early on. wake up, post roll, go on about your day. Somewhere along the way a crave hits, a trigger releases. My first thought even before I dealt with it, was Thank God I posted roll today, because succumbing to this crave/trigger is not going to happen. Now how do I get over it. Every time. I still feel the same. If I'm not on roll, I'll make every conscious effort to do so. As 30 states, my word is golden behind the name and day. Nothing is going to make me a liar to you Cav, the Sultans, 2014, or any quitter here.
As I put my mod hat on (which of course is rainbow colored to match my knee-highs) I'm blessed to have the opportunity to pay it back for all the times vets reached out and picked me up when I was foggy or down. When someone put a note in my intro saying whats up tarp, how ya been. There's many many ways to pay it back, even to the guys who are pre-HOF. Look around you, your brothers every day struggle, communication and activism are the keys. The more you're in touch, the brighter the torch shines for you, your group and our brotherhood.
I agree with 30, posting roll should be done daily for every member. I fully believe that somewhere down your path, you reach a point where that daily post reaches beyond 24 hours or one day. However that does not apply to pre-HOF, and I fully believe that it should last well beyond HOF. It will fall to you and how you need to manage your quit. We're all different, and we all manage our lives differently. I know my quit is as strong as Gibraltar and I'm not stupid enough to believe that I'm done with roll call or KTC. My work isn't done yet. I still have about 10 guys that post regularly in Dec 2010. Those guys are my brothers and my first line of defense. The next line is the full brotherhood of KTC. My digits are available to anyone and its open 24/7, except during the 15 minutes quarterly I get with mrs tarp. Other than that I'm all ears.
In summary, take care of you first, make sure you start your day with the power you need to stay clean. Secondly, there are many who need support here daily. Find them and help them. Its usually not that hard. Lastly, I got your back whether or not my name/number is in your support group or not. You need me, you know where I'm at.
thanks
tarp
Nicely done responses. Question gmann brought up is why some older long term posters continue to post above the line. Why so?
In my experience, seems like some vets get emotional with future groups with the same month. For example, me, I quit in December 2010, and I sometimes have an affinity for other december groups. But some guys find a calling in helping out in these months and posting above the line with the newbs.
Why do some vet quitters like to post above the line? If you have done your homework and read the old quit groups front to back, you would know the answer to the question. Site history is not a big thing with many of the new groups.
If I told you the answer, that would be the easy way out. Go find it....I guarantee will will find some golden nuggets along the way.
EDIT: sorry for the spoiler RT.
If you look at site history, the line was not always there. Great many discussions have been had about segregated roll.
Although I generally do not post above the line, I am ambivalent about the segregation. At day 1 or day 1000 my name on that roll means that I promise YOU, no matter how many days quit that I am not going to use nicotine. I acknowledge that like the person who just walked in and posted a day 1 that I am an addict. To me above the line means that I am side by side... while below that line seems to me like a "cheering section".
So why do I post below the line? It's really more pragmatic than anything- With the size of the recent quit groups, it makes it a little easier for the people in the quit group to keep track of the others.
One very nice solution in my opinion is to post roll in order of days quit... If you look at June 2011 they elected to go without a spreadsheet. The chronological approach made it easy to keep track of people, and if they chose to they could have eliminated the "line" before they hit HOF, it also spread the responsibility of keeping track to all of the quitters in the group, not just the folks that maintained the spreadsheet... to take it a step further, take a look at May '06. That would be another approach that would work(although I would recommend doing it in ascending chronology pre hof, at least). That format makes it VERY easy to keep track of when someone was missing. Bottom line, as your quit group forms, the format of rollcall/accountability is yours to do with as you please. You don't need a line, you don't need a spreadsheet, but you do need to find a way to keep track of each other.
My .02
