Thank you for having this site. I am at my wit's end and somehow stumbled here. My chew habit is my deep dark secret, only one person in my life knows I chew, only because he also chews. I hide it from my wife, family, coworkers. Today is Day 1. Hopefully it will not end up like the other hundred "Day 1"'s I've had throughout my adult life. I am 38 years old and have been chewing (or smoking) since I was an early teen. There have been periods throughout my life where I was able to successfully quit for a few months at a time, but that nicotine queen bitch always gets her way in the end. I am now in a vicious cycle of hating myself for chewing, vow to quit, go to work and start stressing that I don't have chew. I go to the store, start chewing at work (nobody knows this), and by the end of the day I throw the can away vowing to never do it again. Repeat next day, and next. Just one more, I tell myself. I have ZERO self control with chew. I f-ing love it. I love the taste, I love the buzz, everything. I love to try all the different brands. The problem is, while I love the chew - I end up hating myself for doing this and having no self control over it. I worry about every little sore in my mouth- if I eat something hard and I get a sore, I stress about it constantly. When I've attempted to quit in the past, I turn into a monster and end up hurting the ones I love because I'm nic-fitting.
I've found this site and hope it's my saving grace. I will find my quit group and go from there. I've been reading a lot of posts from others and find I am not alone. Once again I've decided to quit, here's hoping that this time I last longer than 4 hours!
9 hours and counting...
-Phil
Phil,
You are right about 1 thing - you are not alone. Let me first address some of your other thoughts:
1) It is not a "habit." You are addicted to nicotine. The sooner you can admit that, the better. We are all addicts here, so you are in good company.
2) you used words like "hopefully" - you dont need hope here. Post roll, honor your word, repeat.
3) You said previous "periods of quit." We don't play that here. You are either quit or not. Those other times were stoppages. dont worry though, we all had them.
4) Finally, you talk about "I f-ing love it. I love the taste, I love the buzz, everything. I love to try all the different brands" This is bullshit. You love the nicotine. You need to learn to hate it with every fiber of your being. The smell alone should make you go into an Incredible Hulk rage against US Tobacco. The sooner you stop romantacizing dip, the better. This will come in time. In the meantime, look up Outdoor Texans story, or google "mouth and throat cancer" and look at the pictures. Still in love?
Finally, we are here for you to yell at, bitch at, cry to, etc. Do NOT take that out on your loved ones. they dont deserve it. We all know what you are going through, and can take it. We are all filthy addicts as well. Rage, vent, go into chat and piss and moan (just watch out for the gheys) - so long as you have posted roll we will listen and give you some friendly advice if you want it.
By the way, I see you have posted a Day 1 and knocked it out of the park on your first try - EXCELLENT! Read everything you can here.
Drink the kool-aid brother. The first week or month will be hell, but trust me when I say its so worth it.
PM Me if you need anything. J2b - day 362 and loving the freedom
