horseman

[can-take-for-us]

I'm only on day 32 but have experienced 4 of those dreams. In every dream I give in. The feeling of remorse I have afterwards is overwhelming. Then I realize it was just a dream and that I'm still quit and clean....what a relief. No way I'm going to cave like I do in the dreams. It's horrible.

[horseman]

I posted day 87 this morning. Things have gone along relatively well for the past couple of weeks. No major craves just little triggers that I dont give 2 seconds thought to anymore. Mostly cause it is easier to look at the nic bitch like an old girlfriend, been there done that and dont want to revisit that crazy bitch.
Weird thing is that I have had cave dreams the past two nights. I dont think that I have had one before this point. I am the kind that rarely even remembers his dream but I am waking up to thinking I have caved. Last night I saw a can and the next thing I knew I had a wad in my lip.
Makes me realize that the nic bitch is just that, she is that super crazy bitch that would try to sneak in your house in the middle of the night. You would wake up and the crazy shit is sitting in a chair by your bed staring at you and asking why you wont answer her calls.
The nic bitch gives me the creeps. I quit that creepy bitch every damn day.

[duathman]

So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.

Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!

nice job, way to realize what you are going through and what you don't want to do again.

quittin right beside you today.

Outstanding!

sums up life perfectly as a shit stuffing cancer user.

[B-loMatt]

So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.

Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!

nice job, way to realize what you are going through and what you don't want to do again.

quittin right beside you today.

Outstanding!

[SirDerek]

So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.

Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!

nice job, way to realize what you are going through and what you don't want to do again.

quittin right beside you today.

[Diesel2112]

So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.

Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!

[horseman]

So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.

[cbird65]

It has really helped to know that these cravings are only gonna last 3 to 5 minutes. The hardest part the past couple of days are stopping at the gas station and getting out of there with just gum or candy.
Having a plan has made the difference and also telling everyone I see everyday that I am quit. Just added accountability. I have considered even telling the clerk at the gas station that I am quit just in case. LoL.
One of my plans is to recognize a crave quick and change the subject or go straight to the thought of my son tellimg me how proud he is of my quit and smiling then putting his little hand on my face.
Now that will make you want to throat punch the nic bitch for even trying to have a conversation with me.

BUMP

good read for the foggy b-tards hanging in here

[horseman]

It has really helped to know that these cravings are only gonna last 3 to 5 minutes. The hardest part the past couple of days are stopping at the gas station and getting out of there with just gum or candy.
Having a plan has made the difference and also telling everyone I see everyday that I am quit. Just added accountability. I have considered even telling the clerk at the gas station that I am quit just in case. LoL.
One of my plans is to recognize a crave quick and change the subject or go straight to the thought of my son tellimg me how proud he is of my quit and smiling then putting his little hand on my face.
Now that will make you want to throat punch the nic bitch for even trying to have a conversation with me.

[brettlees]

You are doing this well man. Keep tracking, alert. You are practicing and learning all the time- it's a new and better way of life you are earning day by day.

[ERDVM]

So I am on week three. Cravings have come back from being a little lax for a couple days. Not like the first week where I thought I would chew my arm off at times. Right now the cravings are short but more of my mind trying to convince me that jI can handle just a pinch once in awhile.
I can see why the brotherhood here is so important. I have intentionally told most all the people I come in contact with all day that I have quit. I feel like this makes me have even more people that I am accountable to.
This thing is a freaking everyday battle for my life.

Days 20-30 are physiologically important as the receptors in your brain began to creep back to normal non-nicotine addict levels. It was a strange time for me as well. We lose plenty in this secondary funk. Don't let it be you. Continue to recognize and smash craves - just like youre doing. You are battling for your life. Thousands here have done it - so can you.

Remember "Reach out or reach around - just dont reach in"

(v)

[horseman]

Introduction to all my brothers and sisters in the battle.
Horseman
Aka Todd
Occupation: professional horse trainer, train and compete on horses in reining.
Family: Wife of 14 years, 7 yr old son, both are my best friends
44 years of age, have been a dipper for 24+ years, half or more with cope, then skoal and grizzly
I know that I have only been quit for 3 weeks but I wil not fail cause I will not quit quitting everyday.

[horseman]

So I am on week three. Cravings have come back from being a little lax for a couple days. Not like the first week where I thought I would chew my arm off at times. Right now the cravings are short but more of my mind trying to convince me that jI can handle just a pinch once in awhile.
I can see why the brotherhood here is so important. I have intentionally told most all the people I come in contact with all day that I have quit. I feel like this makes me have even more people that I am accountable to.
This thing is a freaking everyday battle for my life.

[Mthomas3824]

Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.

Rest assured this sums up virtually every one on this site's first few weeks. Keep owning it and keep using your old self as motivation. Don't be too hard on yourself though, you've chosen to save your life and that is no small cookies.

Quit today and worry about tomorrow if/when it gets here. You got this and we got you.

Ditto. You only have to think and focus on keeping your word today. Don't concern yourself about being quit tomorrow or forever. You aren't quit tomorrow if you cave today.

Get through today. You can make it today, I promise it might suck but its not going to kill you. Just don't cave after all a post today and your word holds more value to you than a dip today. Remember you gave your word.

Fuck the nic bitch if she thinks she is more valuable than your word? Who the hell and what did she ever bring to your loyal relationship?

Knock the bitch out now and secure your word and say, "Not now and Not today."

[jzzyzag01]

Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.

Rest assured this sums up virtually every one on this site's first few weeks. Keep owning it and keep using your old self as motivation. Don't be too hard on yourself though, you've chosen to save your life and that is no small cookies.

Quit today and worry about tomorrow if/when it gets here. You got this and we got you.