I've been dip free for approximately 2 weeks.
NICOTINE free for 3 days. It sucks, I have no other way to describe it.
My anxiety is through the roof and I'm having a hard time telling what is the reason for it anymore, I'm going to give quite a bit of information here and please, if it's too long, just roll on by. I feel though that to give the background is worth mentioning because life is very difficult right now.
June 8th I had a vasectomy. Felt pretty solid - was still dipping, heavy user of alcohol, etc.
July 18th noticed a lump on my right one, had an ultrasound, turned out it was scar tissue from the surgery.
Later July I noticed an enlarged lymph-node under my chin (I assume it's cancer ... lost my mom when she was 44 to BC) - turns out nothing.
That day I said I'm done. There's no reason to have this stress in my life when I'm purposefully trying to live for my wife and kids, I need to do this for me. I started with the Nicotine gum for about 2 weeks or so and did pretty well. Honestly, it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. What I quickly noticed though is that the nicotine gum is basically dip. You chew it, then "park it" aka DIP IT for about a half hour. It that after those few days that I found this site and a post in which someone said something to the effect of, "I can go to war but I can't fight dip?! WTF"
Well that's me. I started dipping in Iraq and 13 years late here I am.
I'm on day 3 though, and it sucks.
I can't tell what's my PTSD from the service vs. what's the anxiety from the surgery (vas.) which is a real thing, vs what's the anxiety from the lack of drinking (yeah I'm trying to quit that too) and what's the anxiety from the nicotine. I'm a walking ball of fucking anxiety twine. I cry at the drop of a hat, I don't want to get out of bed, I'm quite literally miserable for most of the day, can't dip (WONT DIP), want a drink / won't. FUCK!
Tell me this gets better?
Thanks-
Daddy_shark
Shark (sorry man, I just can't bring myself to call you "daddy") - yes, at some point things will get better. That's what you wanted to hear, right?
The thing is, this is going to absolutely SUCK until one day it doesn't.
That's probably the part you didn't want to hear, right?The first thing you need to do now that you're completely nic and NRT free is post roll with your
November quit group here. There are a bunch of badass quitters and supporters that post up in there daily, and they can help you along this journey.
This site is pretty straightforward, and you'll get out of it what you put in. This is the minimum:
1) Wake up
2) Piss
3) Post roll (your promise to Quit for today)
4) Repeat daily
If you do those four things you will QUIT. Simple, right? Except where it's not...
KTC is built on Brotherhood + Accountability = SuccessThis means that the more Brotherhood you have (posting and interacting online, opening up to your quit brothers/sisters) and the more Accountability you have (texting, talking to others, meeting others, keeping each other involved and helping each other) the greater your Success will be. We're here to help and support each other, and that's a HUGE part of why we're successful as quitters with the site.
As far as the anxiety goes, every one of us is a little different. Some people don't struggle with it as much. Some people (like me) feel like it's crushing at times. I know I spent a few days quite literally balled up on my sofa watching (sort of) football and feeling like I wanted to absolutely give up. This isn't the place for expert advice as far as that goes, but by getting involved and reading and researching on the site I'm pretty sure you'll find that you're not different from anyone else. We all pretty much go through the same things at the same time, albeit with different degrees of intensity.
It is INCREDIBLY important that you make sure you're taken care of with regard to your mental health though, so don't be afraid to reach out to a professional (in fact, I highly recommend it if your anxiety is that crushing). There's no shame in taking prescription meds to help quit - many addictions like nicotine happen as coping mechanisms for other things. With that gone, you will need to find another way to resolve those issues.
I really didn't mean to ramble on this long. Hopefully you have enough info to get going. I'm going to PM you my contact info (look in the top right of the window when you're scrolled all the way up for your inbox). I highly encourage you to reach out to your fellow quitters in November as well as some of the bad-ass vets that are supporting them.
Welcome to KTC!
SRains918 (Steve)