*flicks on the light*
Holy fuck it's dusty in here. This intro hasn't seen any love in waaaayyyy too long.
Having crossed the half-decade threshold yesterday, I decided it was probably time to dig this tome out of the archives to share some thoughts and reflect on the past 5 years.
Some days, it doesn't feel that long ago I was smuggling cans using secret internal pockets in my work backpack. Times when I would be packing two pouches from the time I left for work until the moment I drove into the driveway. See at home it was more difficult - I was a ninja dipper and kept everything secret from my wife. The moment she went to bed, I'd be back to running dual pouches until I crashed myself, staying up way too late to nurture the love affair with the other woman in my life - the nic bitch.
I don't know why I kept her around. All she did was steal my money, my health and rob me of time I should have been spending with my wife. But thanks to KTC, that love affair ended abruptly on 4/25/16.
At first I didn't know if KTC was for me. I knew I was an addict but I was still blinded by the lie that I enjoyed doing something that was killing me. With the hardcore atmosphere around here, I actually wasn't scared about failing but rather, I was terrified of success. If I was quit, how would I take a shit? How would I mow the lawn? How would I drive anywhere again? How would I play softball or do any other of the millions things I had associated with a pouch or two squeezed between my gums and cheek?
But I jumped in and trusted the process. I knew with anything in life, it was going to be a learning process that would need to be developed. I started to realize I would have to learn to hate nicotine and the damage it did to my body and within my life. Each day I posted roll leaning on my brothers and sisters for support. I knew having my name on roll gave them motivation and their names next to mine solidified the brotherhood that is necessary in this daily battle.
In the 5 years I have been here, I have never missed roll once. Yeah, I'm bragging but I'm also going to make a point for any of the guests lurking who may read this. Roll is our promise not to use nicotine in ANY form today. As (perhaps) the most foundational aspect of KTC, I embraced this aspect and never let go. By making my promise early, every damn day, it takes nicotine completely off the table. Bound by my word which I am not willing to ever break, caving goes from an improbably to an impossibility.
Post roll, honor your word. It isn't always easy but it truly is that simple.
This is already way longer than I wanted so let me just say that without KTC my life would still be completely off the rails. This site has brought people and methods into my life that have been instrumental in re-shaping me as a person. I've been able to root out more demons than just nicotine with the most badass people at my side, many of which I'm honored to call my friends. My children have never known their dad as a slave to nicotine and that is a beautiful thing. While I continue to quit for myself, they are certainly a motivating factor.
If you are on the fence about quitting, my advice remains the same - jump in and trust the process. You don't need to be 100% ready to quit. I wasn't. But KTC can help reform your mindset and lay the foundation for freedom that is unparalleled to the slavery of a dead, poisonous plant in a plastic can.
Thank you KTC. Thank you to all those who have helped keep me on the straight and narrow. Looking forward to the next 5 years but until then, I'll be over in Aug 16 chugging along QLAMF ODAAT.
