Day 78 into my quit, 78 days without poisoning myself after nearly 6,000 days of killing myself daily. These are questions I have asked myself along the way: What took me so long to quit? Why did I let this poison take control? When did I put this as a higher priority than spending time with my children and wife? What the fuck was I thinking? Holy Shit, how much cash have I spent on this crap? I can't believe the lies I have told to myself and the people I love? How many important moments have I missed that I can never get back?
Somewhere along the way I found that guy that was hiding under the addiction, the man before the addiction and lies. Every day of fog, every craving, and everything I had to to do to stay quit was worth it, my only regret is I didn't quit sooner. I can look at myself in the mirror again and see an honest man. The great Dad that pays attention to everything his children do and say, and is there for them every step of the way with a clear head. A husband that is not staying up late to get his last fix in, but is spending more time with his wife and strengthening the bond. I can actually kiss my wife again, coach my kids in baseball, smile without worrying if there is shit in my teeth, and go places and do things without thinking of ways I could get my fix in. I owe a lot to this site and all the badass quitters here for helping me reclaim my life and for saving my life, I post my promise every day and I do so with conviction and as a man of my word. I am a better Father, husband and all around man.
