my emotions say: just give me a dip this world is fucked up and there is no point to anything
my brain says: that's stupid then we would have to start this shit all over again
Emotions: no there is no point just fuck it all
Brain: oh quit being dramatic
E: I am not being dramatic you just don't understand
B: uh yeah I do remember day 3 I was coming unglued
E: that was kind of funny you were going every which way
B: that may have been funny but you should have seen yourself on day 4 you didn't know which way was up
E: that was fucked up ..........
E:........... Maybe you are right ....... Now I am tired can we go to bed now
Do you think that perhaps its not your emotions trying to get the better of you, but rather its the other way around. Maybe. When we think of addiction and nicotine, its usually nicotine that has a hold of our brain and F's up our thinking. Emotions can either defeat or succumb to our way of thinking. For example, if your having a bad day, your emotions are weak (and vulnerable) - nicotine has the upper hand. Conversely, if you're having a bad day but you maintain your fortitude, then nicotine can be defeated.
Beating addiction is about gaining control. Emotions are harder to control in general and with nicotine F'ing with the way we think, we lose some ability to control our emotions. Diesel, you have almost 3 months of daily wins under your belt; you are gaining control. Keep the emotions in check - this is where the strength is needed.
Lastly, if you need/want a rock to lean on when you sense a crack in your foundation, need to vent, or anything - shoot me a PM and I'll give you my number. No pressure; if you already have people like that in your arsenal, then great. I would just be remiss at this point if I didn't extend myself.
