Day 1

[SHU26]

Hey everyone,

Listen, if you're going to call me out I have no issues with that. I was the one who manned up and publicly outed myself. I didn't have to do that. I could have gone the chicken shit route, cave, lie and none of this shit would have ever happened. BUT I DIDN'T, so I'll deal with that. The only one that has to be good with me is the one who looks back in the mirror at night.

I didn't reply to anyone, because I didn't know people were responding to my introduction. So, I'll sum up the 3 questions that apparently wasn't good enough for you the first time.

1. What happened? I caved when I had some friends come over to my house to help me (I was re-doing my kitchen). After we were done, we had some beers. A buddy broke out the bullshit Tin and I took one.

2. Why did this happen? I didn't reach out to anyone in my group. I just did it. I cannot give you a better explanation than that. As stupid and bullshit as this sounds, it's the truth. Even now as I type this I can't believe I did it. Such a disappointment to myself. I came clean to you, my wife, and my kids. At the end of the day fellas, I know I let you down but you will not be any harder on me than I am on myself. The look in my wife and children's eyes is something that I think about since I caved at day 223 and since I've been quit for the last 59 days.

3. What am I going to do differently next time? Along with posting, I have been in contact with people like Billybill, Duathman, Sportsfan, OIB and others. For those reading this and I didn't post your name, I apologize but I wouldn't be at this point without you either. Staying on this site and keeping in contact with people who are going through this suck is what's helped me since.

Now, if there is anything else anyone would like to address with me then send me a PM and we can talk one on one. Guys, I outed myself. I understand your disappointment in me, but again, you will not be any harder on me than I am on myself.

Honestly, I find it comical that so many people have called me out when we have all been down this road. If I'm the only one who quit and then caved whether on this site or not then I'll keep my mouth shut and you can blow me up all you want. If, however, you have cave at all in your life then back off! I'm back on here to wage War against Nicotine. Not any of you!!

Any issues, PM me and I'll give you my number.

Shu26

[zam]

No reply? No answers. No rebuttals. No "fuck you you meanies"? Nothing? SHU, how did posting your name and logging off work out last time? This time will be different because you MEAN, REALLY MEAN it this time, right?
Do I think you own an explanation to me? To the KTC brothers? You're damn right I do.

Still waiting...... 'impatient'

[bleeckerdogs]

3rd that! We need something a bit more solid for questions #2 and #3 after 'flush' 223 days!!!  Its your choice if you want to make this time your LAST and FINAL quit!!!

I'm with these guys SHU, some better answers to the questions seem like they are in order.

"I will not put myself in this position again to cave"

But what will you do if you find yourself in a position you didn't see coming? She's a sneaky one you know....

I appreciate the fact that you came clean here, and went right back at it. I think you also need to have a deep inner conversation with yourself, and find the answers to those questions also.

Shu - Thank you! Thank you for being honest and steping up! I am at a solid 141 days. I have had the "just one" thoughts banging in my head like no fucking tomorrow. I have dam near fallen off myself. Your five minutes was all I needed. Tomorrow when I come back I am going to read you post again. Five Minutes!!!!

Throw away all the coins and hof gear, meet people in your new group and help them and yourself stay quit.

Its a hell of a fall off the 2nd floor! Dust yourself off and start climbing. Just before you caved you were a true bad ass quitter, today your a newbie!

[Sharsky]

3rd that! We need something a bit more solid for questions #2 and #3 after 'flush' 223 days!!!  Its your choice if you want to make this time your LAST and FINAL quit!!!

I'm with these guys SHU, some better answers to the questions seem like they are in order.

"I will not put myself in this position again to cave"

But what will you do if you find yourself in a position you didn't see coming? She's a sneaky one you know....

I appreciate the fact that you came clean here, and went right back at it. I think you also need to have a deep inner conversation with yourself, and find the answers to those questions also.

[Kdip]

3rd that! We need something a bit more solid for questions #2 and #3 after 'flush' 223 days!!! Its your choice if you want to make this time your LAST and FINAL quit!!!

[G]

I hate to the the "bad cop" here, but I just don't see an answer to questions 2 and 3. Telling us how you felt about caving is good stuff, but that's just bonus material. Question #2 makes sure you know why you failed, and Question #3 makes sure you aren't just gonna do the same thing and hope for better results. I just don't see those questions have even been attempted.
I'll give you an A for emotion, D- for content.
IMHO, if you're only gonna discuss this in one place, make it your quit group forum.

Second.

[jhaenel23]

If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.

Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new

1. What happened?

2. Why did it happen?

3. What's going to be different this time?

That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!

The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.

I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.

Today is day 1-----EFF!

WTF Shu!!! I am assuming by your quick jump to accountability and note on the site here you are not going to partake in anymore lip turds and you are quit again. You were one day behind me in your quit and now you are 225!! I hope that puts it into perspective.
Sometimes I guess us Jackwagins think our shit dont stink because so many of the newbs look up to us and post with us. What kind of fucking example is this? I was talking with Sports last night, and I notice the same things that he notices now. I notice people that have cans in their pockets. Knowing that the poor fucker would bum you one in a second if you asked. Just to suck you back into that sorry fucked up brotherhood that involves killiing yourself or loosing your face. I am fully aware that every gas station in America sells some form of this shit!! I AM FULLY FUCKING AWARE!!!! But I made a pledge here to my fellow Jackwagins and every other bad ass that posts up every morning! My word is my bond!!

Keep It Simple Stupid!

Post, Keep your word and repeat!

[Diesel2112]

This is just scary as hell to me...... sheesh.  I'm sitting at day 150, and here's a guy caving after 220! 

Protect your quit everyday, folks. 220 days of vigilance, followed by 5 minutes of weakness, will NOT get it done.

SHU, I quit with you today.

Rick don't let it scare you, just let a cave strengthen your resolve. That is why I'm still posting roll. At 430 days I'm still a newbie in my mind, I've seen those that have caved with more days quit than me. The last one that motivated me to continue my daily promise was a friend that caved just short of 2 years. Those that let their guard down and risk flirting with fire will most likely get burnt. One day at a time with a promise = QUIT!!!

Agree with Wade here. Don't let this scare you. It's reality. Use it as motivation. Guy put a dip in for 5 minutes and spit it out. That's not even THAT scary of a story. It's stupid as hell, but not like a lot of cave stories where dudes just go off the grid and back to chin dipping like mad men.

It's like my wife who always wants me to turn the channel when I watch the 11:00 news because "it's too depressing". It's life bro.

You want some positive "non scary" shit, there is plenty of it on this site. I'm scary but positive. You ever need some help hit me up.

[zam]

I hate to be the "bad cop" here, but I just don't see an answer to questions 2 and 3. Telling us how you felt about caving is good stuff, but that's just bonus material. Question #2 makes sure you know why you failed, and Question #3 makes sure you aren't just gonna do the same thing and hope for better results. I just don't see those questions have even been attempted.
I'll give you an A for emotion, D- for content.
IMHO, if you're only gonna discuss this in one place, make it your quit group forum.

[Wt57]

This is just scary as hell to me...... sheesh. I'm sitting at day 150, and here's a guy caving after 220!

Protect your quit everyday, folks. 220 days of vigilance, followed by 5 minutes of weakness, will NOT get it done.

SHU, I quit with you today.

Rick don't let it scare you, just let a cave strengthen your resolve. That is why I'm still posting roll. At 430 days I'm still a newbie in my mind, I've seen those that have caved with more days quit than me. The last one that motivated me to continue my daily promise was a friend that caved just short of 2 years. Those that let their guard down and risk flirting with fire will most likely get burnt. One day at a time with a promise = QUIT!!!

[Sharsky]

If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins.  I was quit for 223 days.  That's right!  Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit.  Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat.  Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit.  DO NOT DO WHAT I DID.  This is a quit for life.  Take this one day, one minute at a time.

Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new

1. What happened?

2. Why did it happen?

3. What's going to be different this time?

That's right Jackwagins, I caved.  Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame.  I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation:  I thought I had this licked.  I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around.  For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one.  Then, it happened.  Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one.  I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon.  I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes.  Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window.  I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes.  All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU! 

The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these.  I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website.  I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction. 

I will say this!  For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt.  It does and it will.  I feel like I have cheated on all of you.  I'm coming clean with this B.S. 

Today is day 1-----EFF!

Jesus H. Christ SHU...I'm at a loss here on what to even say....having a hard time comprehending how the hell this could happen. 223 in a row crapped right down the ol toilet.

Glad yer back here so quick...but fuck...i sure hope you've truly learned something, and will take to using this site the way it was intended MUCH more serious.

Damn man....this just fucking sucks. You should feel like you cheated on the folks here....that's exactly what you did. Only thing I know for sure, it that my quit just became stronger. That's a shitty silver lining to pull from this situation, but IIWII.

Keep posting up...Do what you say you are going to do this time, and I'll keep quitting with you Every.Damn.Day.

now, back to quitting.... (IIWII stands for It Is What It Is, by the way, patent not pending)

[rickddd]

This is just scary as hell to me...... sheesh. I'm sitting at day 150, and here's a guy caving after 220!

Protect your quit everyday, folks. 220 days of vigilance, followed by 5 minutes of weakness, will NOT get it done.

SHU, I quit with you today.

[iizphilister]

If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins.  I was quit for 223 days.  That's right!  Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit.  Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat.  Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit.  DO NOT DO WHAT I DID.  This is a quit for life.  Take this one day, one minute at a time.

Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new

1. What happened?

2. Why did it happen?

3. What's going to be different this time?

That's right Jackwagins, I caved.  Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame.  I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation:  I thought I had this licked.  I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around.  For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one.  Then, it happened.  Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one.  I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon.  I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes.  Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window.  I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes.  All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU! 

The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these.  I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website.  I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction. 

I will say this!  For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt.  It does and it will.  I feel like I have cheated on all of you.  I'm coming clean with this B.S. 

Today is day 1-----EFF!

Oh boy. 198 posts since Oct 2012 kind of says it all. Glad you found your way back so quick, but damn what a disappointment. There are so many die hard dead serious quitters on here. It sucks to see someone have such little regard to the importance of their own quit.

SHU - I'm sure I'm not the only Jackwaggin who has pm'ed you. Do it right this time and connect.

In the short amount of time I have been around, I have noticed one thing that has been a solid theme: The Jackwagins always take care of their own. This is one shitty situation, I pray I never have to go through it. But to see the level of accountability for this brother is really moving.

SHU26, I quit with you day, and will everyday going forward. One thing I have found true around here is you can NEVER have enough support....

[OneImpressiveBall]

If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins.  I was quit for 223 days.  That's right!  Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit.  Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat.  Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit.  DO NOT DO WHAT I DID.  This is a quit for life.  Take this one day, one minute at a time.

Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new

1. What happened?

2. Why did it happen?

3. What's going to be different this time?

That's right Jackwagins, I caved.  Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame.  I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation:  I thought I had this licked.  I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around.  For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one.  Then, it happened.  Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one.  I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon.  I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes.  Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window.  I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes.  All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU! 

The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these.  I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website.  I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction. 

I will say this!  For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt.  It does and it will.  I feel like I have cheated on all of you.  I'm coming clean with this B.S. 

Today is day 1-----EFF!

Oh boy. 198 posts since Oct 2012 kind of says it all. Glad you found your way back so quick, but damn what a disappointment. There are so many die hard dead serious quitters on here. It sucks to see someone have such little regard to the importance of their own quit.

SHU - I'm sure I'm not the only Jackwaggin who has pm'ed you. Do it right this time and connect.

[Evil_Won]

Hey caver,

I figured I'd dig deep to find this little treasure for ya. Feel free to re-read what you wrote about when you paused using nic the last time, 223 day ago. Oh, and re-read all of the great advice some badasses gave to you. Maybe you'll find it more helpful this time around.

'evil'
Evil_Won - 237
Jan 13' Jackwagin